Monday, December 25, 2006

Happy holidays

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone!!! I know I haven't updated this blog for so long, and sorry po.. I've been so busy with work and the rush of the holidays. I hope I can get in touch with this blog real pretty soon. Oh one more reason I can't update that much is that I don't have an internet connection yet in the place where I'm staying at. Hopefully after the holidays, the Comcast cable would follow it up.

Anyways guys, Happy Holidays!!! and hope you have a blessed one. Cheers!!! Advanced Happy New Year na rin! ENJOY! DRINK (but don't drive) AND HAVE LOTSA FUN!!! MMMWAH! Loveyah!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Time is precious

Christmas Day is about 16 days to go, and my family is flying back to Philippines two weeks from now. Well my dad is flying ahead on Tuesday. I'll surely miss them. That's why I wanna spend quality time with them as of now. I wonder what I'm gonna do on the holidays. I wish I'll be busy with work, so that I cannot think of them that much, or else I would burst into tears on Christmas eve. Nah, just kidding. If ever I don't have a duty that day, I'll spend Christmas with my 2 cousins and together we'll make it merry. hehe.

I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet, coz I don't have my salary yet. It'll be next week, so I have to rush my shopping by then coz I wanna send gifts to my best friends in PI and my mom has to bring them with her.

Anyways, talking about my week, it was pretty good. I had a 12-hour duty last Wednesday and it was my first time to have that sched (7AM-7PM). It was tiring coz I'm not used to it yet. I was able to get out of my unit at around 8PM already. But the bulk of this week comprised of my classes. Monday I had my first day of preceptorship class, and we discussed wound care, safety, stuffs like that. Every Monday (except on the holidays) until the 2nd wk of January are my classes. Then just this Thu and Fri we had EKG class, and good thing it had a credit of 12 hours of Continuing Education. We need 25 hours a year. And I'm proud to say I got 100% on my EKG exam!!! YEYYYY!!! haha! Made my day great of course.

As for now, I'm spending my time with my family. I was supposed to have a duty yesterday night (11PM to 7AM), which was not on my sched. It was actually an option, whether I wanna take it or not, coz this week I just had 32 hours, so I lack 4 hours. But then I asked my manager if I really have to make it 36 hours. She said it's my choice but I would just be paid for 32 hours. Then I thought, it's fine. Especially now that my family is about to leave and my dad's condition isn't that good, my priority is to go home and spend time with them. Money cannot buy my time with my family. I said to myself that I can do overtime later on, but not now. We don't know how things will turn out to be in a snap. And I don't wanna have regrets later on that I didn't spend time with my dad. Work is just there but my time with my dad & family is a different story. I'm really saddened with the fact that I cannot spend Christmas with him. We don't know if this will be his last Christmas, so I'm making the most out of my weekend. Tomorrow we'll have a gathering here at home to celebrate in advanced his birthday and may be it will be a sort-of advanced Christmas party for the clan, before everyone leaves for PI.

But work matters, I'm having fun so far. I mean I'm enjoying the learning process. Even though I struggle I understand, because if I want to be successful, I really have to start from scratch, experience how to slowly climb the staircase until I reach the top and stand tall in the pedestal.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Hello world of nursing!

I was sooo toxic this last week! Wahhhh! haha. Didn't get enough sleeping hours, my whole body is quite aching now. But it was all good. I encountered a lot of new faces and got to know friendly people, of different races. I learned stuffs that are vital to my new living.

It was Nov. 27, Mon, when I started my orientation, (We had it in Miami Heart Institute for the first three days) and my feeling that day? - Well it was like my first day in a new school. But there's this Cuban lady Alicia, whom I met weeks before, during my Medical Exam, so it was her who was my first friend and no doubt that we became companions and seatmates. She's nice and her aura just equates mine, so we clicked in an instant. The orientation by the way related the hospital, clinical, and nursing policies and expectations, for that week. They were a whole-day classes and overwhelming as they were, we began feeling quite nervous of the upcoming duties. Unfamiliar equipments, the hi-tech ones, were introduced. Last Thursday we had our class in Mount Sinai Medical Center itself and we had the chance to tour around and go to our respective units to talk with our nurse manager.

Hence I spoke with my co-Filipina nurse manager. She was nice, smart and obviously responsibly strict. I was told to go back the next day and boy I didn't expect that, lol. I thought after a 4-day class, I can go back home in Coral Springs. I was homesick already by the way. So yeah, she let me know that I'm going to begin shadowing with a buddy nurse from 7AM-3PM the next day. It was pretty fast huh! But still I drove back home that day in Springs, arrived late 6:30pm, then did my laundry, ironed my uniform, ate good food ~ sinigang na isda, kakamiss pala! (I haven't eaten real home food since Sunday!) and slept for just 5 hours and a half. At 4AM I woke up and took a shower. Then by 5AM, I was off to go drive to Miami. Great coz there was no traffic in I-95, arrived there in Mount Sinai by 6:15. Never late on my first day!

As I was on my way to my unit, I was relaxed but I was curious on how my day would end, hoping that it would end successfully. I wondered who's gonna be the nurses there. But gahhh, when I arrived in 8 Main (my unit), there's a bunch of Filipinos!!! I never felt like home. They welcomed me to the point that I can't help but to smile and be grateful that I was assigned in a unit that I think I won't be left out. Most of them (the pinoys) were night shifts too and my permanent shift is 7PM to 7AM, so I was relieved. (I was assigned in morning shifts just for the first few weeks.) Moreso, I thought I would be the youngest, but I was wrong. haha! There's this Filipina named Michelle, she's so nice and she's a graduate of Silliman University, and she's 21. Yes! At last, I found someone who's in my age and she told me that there's a few more nurses in the night shift who belong to our age line. Isn't it amazing? It wasn't long enough from the time that we introduced ourselves that she told me that we'll go out sometime, have breakfast or what. My day started right and it felt great!

On that day, I shadowed a nurse indeed. My preceptor was Denize and she's a very good nurse. She really has a good therapeutic communication skills and I was impressed! She handled me well and I've learned a lot of things, considering it was my first day. We had an admission and a discharge, some patients were for procedures and surgery, so my first day was worth-it! I got the chance to observe how they do those processes there. I also got the chance to know how they fax med orders to the pharmacy, how they order blood components from the blood bank and a lot more. We handled 5 patients together, and they were mostly cardio patients in that Med-Surg telemetry ward. It was tough. Well it's because our patients were tough. Mind you, we're handling VIP patients in the unit and they tend to be very demanding, especially the family members. You cannot get rid of them and you must be careful. One of our patients yesterday was a CIA and the other one was an editor in a big Miami newspaper company. Tsk tsk.. First day huh!

As I was pacing thru my work on that day, I began to appreciate more and adjust more with my job as an RN. I feared before that I will be having a hard time starting since the last time I had my clinical duties was March 2005. But nah, yesterday it was smooth and I was doing well. I guess I'll be thankful to my mentors and my Alma Mater. Thank you UP Manila College of Nursing.. Hehe.. But yes, really. I'm so sincerely grateful.

The fact also that my fourth year college clinicals in PGH (2 month clinicals) was spent in VIP ward has been very helpful. And yesterday it didn't create that much difference. Nursing, I realized, is nursing, as long as you have a good foundation. The complete care for your patients is still a total care no matter where you go. Once you have the skills, it wouldn't be that hard. The only difference and the thing that I think I will be adjusting with more this time is their manner of documentation. They have an entirely different way of charting here. They are more concered of medical malpractice and they are more strict with the paperworks. Mount Sinai's way of charting is still in writing but it's more of a checklist type. More organized than I encountered in the Philippines and more comprehensive. We utilize computers for access to labs, med reconciliation, stuffs like that. Also with regards to the equipments, they are more hi-teched. It's my first time to get a hold of a PCA (patient controlled analgesia), haha! As a matter of fact too, when we were being toured in the Pharmacy, the Robot which cost somewhere like $1.5 million, was the one dispensing the medications 24/7. That would certainly prevent significant percentage of medical errors. It was certainly amazing!

I was also amazed with our badge (ID). It's multipurpose! We swipe it when we park our cars in the parking lot of course. We swipe it when we badge in and out. If we don't have money and we need to eat in the cafeteria, we can swipe it and whatever it costs, it will just be deducted from our paycheck. We also have a giftshop and if you purchase over $10, you can also use it like a debit card. You can buy movie tickets also with it from its booth. Ha, wonderful right? lol... But it might trick you and if you're extravagant, you will end up having nothing anymore in your paycheck, lol. Just kidding. Talking about paycheck, I'm excited to get my first one, on the 2nd week of Dec. It's bi-weekly, so when I would receive mine, it's going to be a 3-week salary. YEY!!! Gotta pay my debts to my mom. haha!

Whew! That's it. I know that there's a lot more to encounter as I traverse with my roads in the nursing world, and I'll try to share it with you too. So just stay tuned! =) I'm also happy and very grateful that I have reached this point in my life that I'm beginning with my own career and I'm hoping that it will become successful.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Such a hell week for me.. Been coming to and fro Miami. At least I'm getting used in driving the freeway. haha! Pwede na ako magstate hopping. lol. Well, five days from now, I'm gonna start with my work. I got my badge yesterday! I'm a certified employee of Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami Beach. Yikes na Yeyyy! hehe. Mixed feelings... But I hope everything will be fine. It should be or else.... nah, I wanna be positive about it. I know it will be fine.

Oh last night, guess what.. at 6:30 PM I was already asleep. Haha! I was sooo tired, and the previous nights I seemed to lack hours of sleep. The pressure... a lot of things to deal with regarding work and relocation, they're just pulling my legs off. At 3AM, I woke up, then wasn't able to go back to sleep so I just surfed the net until 6AM.. muni-muni.. Then I slept for another hour and got ready (by 7AM) to send my sis and bro to their schools and then met my mom in Walmart (she's from duty) in order to buy stuffs for my apartment. Hayyyy, it's so tiring! When we got home, it was already lunch time and my parents gave me lotsa errands to do... laundry, pick up sis, go to the post office and to the bank. Whew! I'm still doing the laundry now, hehe, waiting for it to be done...

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Anyhoo, tomorrow is Thanksgiving day! My second time experiencing Thanksgiving here. Last year was so much fun, so I wish tomorrow's gonna be more fun with the entire family, cousins, aunts & uncles. It'll be the last gathering, kase sa pinas na sila magchristmas =( But yeah, lotsa turkey again tom with yummy stuffing! Lovin' it! and I'm gonna make some dessert again for them. And since it's a holiday, there will be a big sale on the mall this weekend. I hope I can do some shopping for furnishing my flat.. Ughh, I feel I'm already in debt, and to think I haven't started my job yet. My mom's been paying for all of my expenses for now & I owe her a lot!

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Last year's Thanksgiving day with cousins


And since it's Thanksgiving day.... I would like to thank everyone for keeping up with me. THANK YOU PO...

Thanks to the Lord for all the blessings He has given me and my whole family... and for guiding my friends. Thanks to Him for hearing my prayers and for making things happen for my best. And thanks to Him for helping me fight whatever struggles that I come to face in this eventful life of mine.

I would also like to show gratitude to my parents, my brother and my sisters for loving & supporting me. The times that we get to bond, to talk heart to heart and get to laugh about some thoughts are great moments that make me smile and treasure them all my life. Even though sometimes we are sooo tired of hearing complaints & we argue (esp my sis/bro and i), well it's part of the family relationship where we can grow up & learn from each other.

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my family


To my cousins and relatives for the same support as well. For my cousins who make staying in Florida worthwhile and fun.. talking about the gimmick and other escapades we've been to.

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Florida Espanol cousins


And of course my barkada and friends... Hayyy, I don't know what would happen to me if I have no friends. Life without friends, without you, would be such a bore. I know you have known this ever since but it's not tiring to say.. Thank you, that even if we're far from each other, we still got each other to rely on.

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barkada since birth

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UP Barkada

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Close college friends - my sisses and bros


Moreover, being here in FL without my close friends nearby is kinda lonely. But I'm still lucky that I got my two kabarkadas Max and Alex in Chicago who are always there for me, who got the patience to listen to my rants... Thanks for the advices and for hurting my ass laughing with your corny jokes.. Thanks for all the fun times we have had! For showing me the beauty of Chicago.. For the support of course.. Tsaka I'm so grateful na damayan tayo sa kung anuman ang mga tinatahak natin.. Hindi rin po kase biro ang mabuhay dito sa States.. (Thanks to American Airlines & Northwest and to T-mobile & Cingular as well! hehehe..)

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Max, Kat and Alex


To Hiyas and Colet for being there keeping in touch no matter what (parang hindi ako nalalayo sa pinas kapag kausap ko kayo), for the texts... and Hiyas, thanks for your e-mails which get longer and longer with all your stories... hehe. I miss you - the bond, girltalks, inuman!!! Sana punta na kayo kagad dito...

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Kat, Colet and Yas


Basta to the rest of the barkada, my friends....you know who you are... Thanks for the friendship and love! MISS KO NA KAYO! Sana hindi aabutin ng two years bago ako makakauwi uli ng Pinas..

And to my fellow bloggers... Thanks thanks for reading... and sharing your sentiments with mine as well...

Sis Rho especially, salamat din... Ikaw ang isa sa mga paborito kong kaibigan sa blogworld! hehehe... Kase napakathoughtful mo eh.. tsaka magaan loob ko sayo.. (di ako tibo ah! hehehe) Basta we'll see each other someday... After all, NC is not that far naman from FL diba?

Okidoki then, HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. Take care all of you... MWAH!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Late Fall Escapades

I know it's been a while since I've last posted. Things got pretty busy lately this late fall. Well, busy in taking a vacation, hehehe. But apart from unwinding with my friends in Chicago (again after three months! I'll expound on that later), I've been dealing with my upcoming work, attending to the paperworks, going to Miami for the medical exam, taking an ocular survey of my soon-to-be crib... those sort of things.

Yeah before I departed Miami to O'hare Chicago last week, I've signed some paperworks in the hospital and I've seen my apartment already. But I'm still thinking if I'll get that room, because I am only allowed to stay there for quite a while. I still don't know but it will just be like 3 months. I'll call them tomorrow if 6 months will be possible. So yeah, I'm thinking that it will be a hassle for me to transfer again to some other flat soon, and since it's still unfurnished I need to bring a bed, a microwave, and some furnitures. Hence it is better if I find a place where I could stay permanently for like 2 years, and I'll be luckier if it's furnished. Oh well, if I really can't find an affordable place anymore for a short period of time (I need to move in by nov. 26), then I have no choice but to take that apartment. Actually it's really good since it's within the hospital campus and it's cheap (electricity included). I'm just concerned with the hassle that I'll be going thru and the additional expense, i.e. having cable & phone be connected.

Anyways, I've taken a short break in Chicago with my two kabarkadas Alex and Max, again!!! It felt so good to hang out with them for almost a week. The last time I was there was three months ago. Since we're on mid-November now, the weather was so cold there, that it seemed it's already winter. The temperature ranged from 30's-40's degree Fahrenheit. So we have to wear layers of clothes and jackets when going out. The weather is so tiring that you just wanna lay in bed and cuddle your pillow (or someone, hehe) all the time, since it's cold and it gets dark early... 3PM seemed like 8PM!

Since I've done most of my sightseeing last summer (which was a good time really to stroll Chicago, weather-wise), this time we spent days and nights together doing foodtrip, watching movies, some more foodtrips, window shopping, did an eventful clubbing and more more foodtrips. hahaha! Omg, the three of us actually gained weight. Seriously. We took a look of our photos last summer and have them compared to our newly taken photos, there's a big difference, lol. May be it's with the weather (weather weather lang yan!) hahaha! (palusot eh noh) But still we enjoyed eating! We dined in Sal & Carvao and it's amazing!!! It's a steak buffet and a sort-of fine dining resto, if you're a steak lover, it's worth the price! We had dinner in Todai (Japanese seafood buffet) twice too, and my boys devoured the oysters (panalo talaga!) Max and I also dined out in Joy Yee's (sayang wala si alex) and we ravished ourselves with their Tapiocas, some varied Asian cuisine. So, who would not gain weight with that? And oh, add some midnight snacks still! The condo we're staying at is near a pizza place and one night Max was craving and we went out just to buy 6 slices of pizza (big slices! lol) Then the next night, at the same resto, we managed to order more Italian foods - Mozzarella sticks, Lasagna and Quesadilla. Hahaha! Our rationalization? so that we have something to eat for breakfast; and our general rationalization for our ever foodtrip? we're gonna lose it when we start working (for me & Alex since Max has been working since then, lol) and we just seldom hang out together, so why not enjoy voracious eating right?! Hmmm.. sounds good rationale, so go go go! LOL. And now, I need to burn all those calories, eat less and exercise more. And so far, since yesterday, I'm doing well with my diet. hehe. And I bet those two guys are also managing to watch out what they're consuming.

Hayyyy.. I miss those two. The movies we have watched were the Borat and The Return. We laughed our asses off with Borat! Non-sense but really funny. The Return was just fine, not soo good. We didn't know why we had chosen it, hehe. And with regards to our clubbing escapade in Bamboo Room, I said it was eventful because there was a fight inside the club, and it wasn't just a fight. It was "madugo." Basag ata ang mukha nung isa eh. Damn! It was freaking scary, but this Max was enjoying the scene. Sira talaga! We went out of the club immediately, but then the people on the fight were on their way out too, so we were so close to them (Yikes!) What's scary wasn't the blood (sanay na sa duguan! hehe), but it was that may be the fight will get more intense, and yup it did actually outside the bar since the cops weren't there yet. It took a while before we were able to leave since we put the car on valet parking. Geez, there's even a scene that beer bottles were thrown and we're almost hit. It was indeed eventful huh, my first clubbing in Chicago. Not the last though. I'm going back, hehehe.

Sooo there, I still have a hang over now and I'm happy that I got to spend time with them before drowning myself into work soon. At least I have shared my rants and sentiments to my two close friends. I'm gonna miss them and I hope it won't take a long time before we'll see each other again. Good thing Chicago is just three hours away, and the fare from here in FL to there isn't that costly (mas mahal pa ang fare ng domestic flights sa Pilipinas, i.e. Manila to Gensan! Imagine!?) And I'm proud that an added change in the three of us is that we'll all be working RNs. I mean Alex and I got our work permits and all just this late October (Max is already an immigrant). Unlike three months ago, where one of our rants was that whether the two of us will be granted by the immigration a chance to work and that we won't go home in PI anymore. I guess our wishes were granted. Thank God. Well, I hope next time, it will be the two of them who's gonna visit me here. My treat that time of course.

Ok then, that's it for now... :)

Friday, November 03, 2006

Into becoming a butterfly

I get butterflies in my stomach everyday...Well recently... and it gets more and more intense as each day passes by. Really!!! Whew! Can't help it.. I'm counting the days! Is this for real? The long awaited moment has arrived, after being bummed for a year and 5 months. But the supposed-to-be excited feeling is slowly becoming an anxiety... Anxious that I doubt my capabilities to perform accurately and intelligently in the real world. Am I ready? Oh for sure! I mean this is definitely not a game, not an internship nor a course where one tries to perform while trying to earn a high grade and to pass. Rather this is a profession and I'm holding a license that I must protect and be careful with my whole life. Ughh, I feel I have forgotten a lot already, haha! Trying to remember the meds..cardiac meds especially, and the procedures.. Gaaa, they're freaking me out. I would absolutely need to scan my notes again, read ECG books. Heyyy you, I hear you telling me that I'm toxic, lol.. But yeah, I am.. ever since. Haha. Guilty?! Nah, I would proudly admit it. Lol.

Despite the wobbly feeling I'm having right now, I am trying to compose myself of what's going to happen soon. Surely this would be offering me a great deal of change. My life is beginning another chapter and I am about to build a new comfort zone. It seemed hard, yes, to start. I hear it all the time, but how would I know how deep the water is if I don't take a dip on it, right? I am about to take a big leap on my career and this is it! Sleepless nights and the big adjustment might stimulate my lacrimal glands along the way. I'm quite ready for that... Well, I'm trying to get myself ready for that. But I believe that it would just be a matter of time and I'll be used to my new life.

Yes, it will be a fresh life... away from my family, new set of people to get along with, fitting in with them, with their expectations.... new environment and living alone, on my own, in my crib... paying my own bills (gosh!)... saving to buy my own car (it's a necessity here!)... and oh, cooking my own food! And the list goes on and on... Yeah, I would like to promise myself this time that I would avoid fastfoods and buying those instant meals, i.e. instant noodles. Ughh, they're unhealthy and I had enough of them during college days.

I will surely miss my family, even if they're just an hour away. I know I can drive home anytime when I'm off duty, but the thought that I would be alone there, without even knowing a single person/friend to talk to (for now) in there, give me shivers. Perhaps I will try to drown myself into work for the first months, which will be my defense mechanism, against my loneliness. Yes it works for me. I tend to forget my problems once I get busy and if I find something else to focus to. (Just like Karlo days and Psych Nursing! hehehe...)

Sooo... Miami Beach here I come! November 26, it's goodbye Coral Springs and hello Miami! Good thing though I will start after Thanksgiving. In that way, I have the last chance to hang out with my whole family/relatives. Yeah, last chance for this year =( since they're all going home in the Philippines for Christmas and New Year. I pray to God to help me get through this, that this opportunity will help me undergo a successful metamorphosis to grow into a beautiful and mature butterfly... that it would not become a painful experience as I imagined it to be. Rather it is one, in which I would enjoy. I really hope that I can gain friends, learn to trust people, be a caring nurse in such a way that my Alma Mater has molded me, and most of all I can still smile and laugh. Finally in the next months and for the following years, I hope to hear myself say "Where I am now, I feel fulfilled and happy."

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Saturday mania

Today marks the end of the Daylight Saving Time. Well it was at 2:00 in the morning specifically. That means that we turned our clocks back by one hour this morning. Whew! We were in downtown clubbing then, and it's funny that the time seemed to tick so slow, haha! Talking about spending an extra hour there.. Thanks to the DST!

There was a cold front too last night, and I didn't have any idea about it until I went out of the car in the parking lot in Riverfront. Gaad, it was freezing, like around 50+ degrees Fahrenheit. My friends and I were like, "Seriously, are we in South Florida?!!" Haha! Sean and I even uttered it simultaneously. "May be we're in Chicago or in New York?!!" Lol. Yeah seriously, it was windy and cold, but it was good. I love a weather like that. It's just that it would be much better only if I didn't don a mini skirt or may be if I brought a blazer or something, just to cover up myself. Lucky were those who were in their Halloween costumes (since it was the Halloween nights & people put on their best costumes). Oh but not really though, because a lot still showed their skins too, especially the ladies. The ones who were lucky were those who wore big layers of clothes. But we still had a blast! We got rid of the coldness once we were inside the clubs. Each bar was so crowded but it was so much fun! We hopped about 5 to 6 bars. Music was good. There were a lot of cute guys to check out too! Wehehe. Right Sherrein?! And my cousin had this guts then to ask them for poses with us, because of the "It's all because of the alcohol" effect. That was really funny! ;-)

And for an added FYI, it was our (Sherrein's and mine) first Halloween party here being 21. Last year there was the Hurricane Wilma, so we were stuck at home because of the curfew. Two years ago, we were just 20 and although we have gone to Las Olas too, we couldn't get in the bars. And so here finally!!! It feels so great! haha!

Whew! What an amazing Saturday! We attended a wedding in the morning until the afternoon, then watched a football game with friends & cousins (even if I don't have a clue on how the football game goes), then a Halloween party at night til dawn. Ahhh, parties... I have missed this life. You know, dressing up, going out, having friends to hang out with. My arms and legs are hurting right now, and so are my feet.. And I kinda lost my voice. I wonder why I always tend to lose my voice everytime I go out with my friends to a club. Well not necessarily a club, but it usually happens when I'm having a good time. It's not that I'm shouting our something. Hmm, I might be.. and I just don't notice it. hahaha! But it's fine, the important thing is I enjoyed dancing the night away! Good times..

Here are a few of the pictures...



Today Sunday, I didn't go to the church with my family, coz it was too early - they heard mass at 10AM, and I slept at around 6AM. Instead, I went to the church alone at 5 in the afternoon. Then it's good that my cousin was there too, so it was all great.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Three things

It's just Tuesday, yet I already have three things that I should be happy about for this week...
So far...

1. I got my work permit yesterday, Monday

- Yes, I received the envelope that contained my Employment Authorization Card. Finally right?! Finally, I have an Alien number and I can legally work. I'm off to the real world!

2. I have applied for my Social Security number today

- SSN is another requirement in order to work, for tax purposes. I'll get my SSN card in about 2 weeks. It will be mailed to me. Good thing that the line a while ago wasn't that long. I got attended in about 15 minutes.

*So with the work permit and SSN, I can claim my Florida Nursing license. May be in a month, I can get it, then start. I just have to inform my employer. Ha! It's exciting, yet scary. Actually, if I can request, I prefer that I'll just attend classes first for this year 2006, talking about completing the ACLS, BLS and ECG classes, so that it will be one step at a time, plus the holidays are coming. It scares me to death that I will be drowning myself immediately during those special occasions. Hence I really hope that I will just start with the real duties by January, so that it will be really a new year for me.

3. It's my Mom's 50th birthday today!!!

- GOLDEN year for my mom! She deserves to celebrate, which we did last Saturday (details in the previous entry). Since it's her birthday, I'd like to dedicate a piece of gratitude for her.

Well, my mom's the coolest and the best! (Of course each of us loves our own moms.) I really admire my mom for her hardwork for all of us. She has sacrificed a lot just to give us our needs & wants. Her love for us overflows that we won't be standing where we are now without it... without her. Seldom can you see moms and daughters who are very close with each other, and I'm so proud that we are among those. I mean I am the daughter who is an open book with my mom. Disclosing my dreams to her and sharing my colorful life and its escapades is not that hard. It makes the bond tighter. We also definitely shop together! Yeah, it's our passion, our therapy to this stressful world. My mom and I even share some clothes and shoes. Same taste!!! Yep, she doesn't look like 50 at all. She's game for what's in. She feels young and loving it. I so love my mom, that I wanna be in her place someday. I want to be as successful as her, a nurse so loving and caring, a wife so understanding, and a mother so cool!

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I can't thank God enough for giving me a very loving mother.
Thanks to you Ma. We love you! Have a happy birthday filled with love!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

amiable week

Friendship week ~ Hmm.. that's the name I would give for this amiable week I had. Why? For the reason that I had surprised myself that I was able to talk to my closest friends (the barkada and the like) in Manila. Well, let's include my friends here in the States too, I mean I was so glad that I got to talk to my Chicago & Florida friends again, coz it's been a while too since we've updated ourselves of what's happening with each of us. Add to those list of friends, of course, my family and relatives, coz yep we have hung out too recently!

******

Okay, first and foremost, it's one of my kabarkada's (Liway's) birthday last Thursday, and her having a swimming party in her house was an opportunity to have conversed with most of my friends. Yup, I called them! *smiles* Ahhhh, it really felt good to hear from them, especially from Winnie, Angge and Jonats, whom I haven't talked to, for like forever. All of them seem working on their way to go here in US (Angge in Canada) - you know NCLEX stuffs and the like. I couldn't help but to get excited for them and so I convinced them a spoonful of optimism in their endeavors.

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My college barkada/friends


Oh but there's this thing... I felt awfully surprised with what was said to me by one of my friends. When I told her/him, "Hey, I'm happy since I don't have to go home in Manila anymore, that I can already stay here because my petition has been filed," I didn't expect her/him to react in such a way that she/he would say, "Mabuti ba yun na hindi ka na uuwi dito? So hindi ka na talaga uuwi dito?" Well I don't really understand what she/he means by that, but with those words I felt that she/he isn't happy with the fact that sooner or later I can start working here. It's weird because all of my friends, but she/he, are glad that my staying here for good is a way closer to my dreams; and all of them too, but she/he, could envy me that I'm here already. Oh well, let's just say that she/he just reacts that way because nationalism is important. hehehe. (babawi naman ako balang araw eh.) But all I was just expecting from that talk was a supportive friend, who would feel glad as I am to what has turned out to be. And really for me, career and family-wise, staying here would be better. But hey, don't think that I'm mad with her/him, coz I'm not. Actually I realized I shouldn't be surprised at all, ganun lang pala talaga yun. hehe. Labo ba! Basta yun na yun.

******

My mom celebrated her 50th birthday yesterday (her birthday is on Oct. 24 though). A lot of visitors came, about 70-100 may be. It was a big party because it's her golden, so that means there's lot of foods... Filipino/Chinese/Italian foods. There's Palabok, Seafood linguine, Lumpia Shanghai, Lumpia Fresh, Chinese mixed vegetables, Menudo, Beef Steak, Steamed sweet and sour fish, Turkey (kaldereta way of cooking), Empanada, Rice, and the best of all... lechon, hehehe!


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Two little pigs, hwehehe


Then the desserts were really good. I made a refrigerator cake. There's sapin-sapin, puto, suman, macaroni salad, brownies, fruit punch with almond jelly, too, then a variety of fruits, then my mom's 2-layered cake.



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Awesome wasn't it? Actually, I haven't tasted everything. Hindi na kinaya ng bituka ko. hehe. There were a few leftovers, so for this coming week, I'm sure we would just be binging on the same viands.

It's great that my friends Dianne, Ate Carla and Janh partied with us too, so I wasn't bored at all. It was fun hanging out with them. We never ran out of things to talk. Moreover, several of my mom's friends (I really forgot who they were when they were talking to me) said hi and asked me about my status here, if I am working already. There's the same set of questions and of course I have the same set of answers. Lol. I just told them that I'm still waiting for my work permit.



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Janh, Kat, Ate Carla and Dianne


Fun times with cousins too. My cousins Ate Marlo and Kuya Rudy (who have been married for 10 months already) announced that they bought a house. Boy, I initially thought they were having a baby, haha! Sayang! But I'm soo happy for them that finally they have bought one and it's still here in FL. At least no one is moving out of FL yet. (it's gonna be me who's goin to be the first one.. na-ah. just kidding) So there, we had a family picture before everyone went home. I can't wait til Thanksgiving (a month from now pa) to have another party with the family.



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Cousins...


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Family...

So that's my week... I hope to have another great week again ahead of me. Kayo din! Take care! :)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Medical matters

Wow! I had a great weekend! I was in love... again!!! hahaha! with Grey's anatomy. Naku po, I can't stop myself from watching it, that even if it's late at night already, I would go to Blockbuster just to rent. Yep, Blockbuster has all the DVDs of Seasons 1 and 2. Good thing, my mom has subscribed into a promo ever since, where we can borrow 2 DVDs at a time, unlimited. So my weekend indeed was busy, with me seating on the couch, laughing, giggling, shedding a tear or two with my new love! haha. And of course with my family, helping my parents run some errands. But I wasn't done with the Season 2 yet. I think there are four more DVDs to watch. May be tomorrow or on the weekends again.. I bothered to postpone watching the Grey's since today is the release of the new DVDs. That's why I picked American Dreamz and The break-up instead a while ago. I haven't watched those in the movies, so I better catch them up.

*****


I would really want to go to med school. I mean it's my dream since I was small, being influenced greatly by my dad. Even when I was in college as a nursing student, I looked up to those med students and even wished that someday I would be wearing a white uniform too with a nameplate that has an M.D. embossed on it. But for some reasons and unexpected circumstances, the plans changed, shattered and I haven't minded it at all.

Lately, I've been thinking if it would still be practical for me to take up Medicine. I want to, but look at this. According to the timeline I've set, if I would really pursue, that's gonna happen in year 2009 (because I have to finish my 2-year contract in the hospital as an RN). I would rather get my green card first before anything else, for security reasons & for my future too if worse comes to worst. The thing is, it worries me that I'm 25 years old already at that time! It's 4 years in Med, plus there's a year internship, plus 2 years Residency. Geez, I'm too old when I'm done - 32 years old. Wahhhh! Then add to that if I'd specialize still. Of course, I would! So come to think of it, I'm this doctor who's just about to start her life by age 32 or 34! It's not right, is it?

Well yeah, we can say that it isn't that bad if I finish it on my 30's. But what I'm also considering is may be I will miss a lot. Talking about risking those 7++ years. Being in med school is not a joke. I mean I would subject myself into "devouring volumes and volumes of books voraciously" as quoted by my classmate Ed, and also engage into sleepless nights. TOXICITY would set in again.

Looking at the other side of the coin though, I can travel, go to parties, be with friends, families and loved ones, be stable as a nurse, buy my own house, focus on establishing my own family, etc... Oh yeah, that's another thing, baka hindi na ako makakapag-asawa kung puro aral na lang, diba? Ayoko naman maging single forever. Tsaka gusto ko pang magka-anak noh, nang walang complications or anything ( kase medyo high risk na rin kung mga 35 years old ka na magka-baby) hehehe. May expiration kase ang egg cells ng mga babae. hahaha!

Another thing, too, will be the cost of going to med school. If I would take it here in US, I have to loan and I fear that I'll be in debt after graduation. Going back to the Philippines, though, will be an intelligent and practical option, but then I would be too old, since first year med students there are like 19 (Intarmed) or 21 years old, as compared to me who will be like 25. But if I'll be granted a chance to enter UP Med, oh my... I would not mind or even thought for a second! hahaha! Well not a chance siguro, kase babae ako so dapat 1.75 and above (dapat cum laude) ang GWA ko tsaka the competition is just too much. Ewan, let's just see. Besides, there's no harm in trying and I know that my grade is not too far from the boundaries.

Hayyy.. It's hard to make a decision, really, especially if your life would be greatly affected by it. There's a lot of consequences and we have to weigh the pros and cons first. As for me, for now, I still don't know what to do. I just pray that God will be the one to let me know what's best for me, that he'll make me decide smartly. Basta, I'll just try to take NMAT and MCAT a year or two from now, and try applying to the schools, kung kaya ng powers ko. Then may be I'll get a sign. And since 2009 will be like 3 long years from now, I know plans could still change. A lot of things will happen. People change. People can influence me. I may like my work already that I don't want to leave my comfort zone anymore. We'll see. At least that time, I know that I am more mature than what I am now.

Friday, October 13, 2006

I got hooked!

Ahhh! I'm so hooked with Grey's Anatomy! Kilig then nakakarelate ako sympre kase medical stuffs yung pinag-uusapan. Lalo tuloy akong nagiging determined magpursue ng med.. Hay sana nakapagNMAT ako dati. kase naman, di ko alam bakit di ko naasikaso. hehe. Sobrang interesting and exciting kase tsaka ang daming matututunan... well pag-iipunan ko muna yun, may be after two-three years, we'll see. Age doesn't matter naman sa pagiging doctor, lalo na dito.

Anyways, I just watched the Episode "What I Am"(Season 3 Episode 4). There's this scene where McSteamy entered the hospital and everyone just gazed at him. His assignment there presented curiosity, shock, anger and excitement. Lalo tuloy hindi makafocus si Addison.

Oh yeah, Meredith had an appendicitis. At first, they thought she was pregnant haha! Anyways, there was this scene where both Finn and Derek were there inside Meredith's room while she was induced with Morphine & other pre-op meds. And since Meredith was on dose, it was funny that she was out of her mind, just talking non-sense. Well it was not nonsense at all, it was just she didn't realize that she was like revealing a lot of things. Hahaha!

Then there's a scene too that Finn and Derek were alone and they got to talk about Meredith. Finn pointed out that Meredith has been really open with him and not with Derek. So Derek was like, "ohh.." then he told Finn that he seems a good guy.

And here came the very most nakakagigil scene - when Derek was alone with Meredith after the operation (she was back on her senses now), he told Meredith that she deserves Finn. He said Finn is a "better guy" and that "you deserve to be with somebody who won't hurt you. I'm walking away." (He was actually influenced by what Dr. Webber told him earlier when he was asked by Derek why he left Meredith's mom. Dr. Webber had said, "I was a better man to walk away.") So yeah, he told Meredith that she would just be hurt in the end, because with him (Derek), things are very much complicated! Ahhhhh! nakakainis! So syempre Meredith was sooo sad and disappointed and she felt like crying! Derek then went out of the room.

When Finn returned there, and after sometime thinking about it, Meredith told him that she chooses Derek. *Kilig! haha!* She sort of like said, "You're a great guy. You could be the better one...But.." Yeah, Meredith knows that Finn can be the better guy, and she knows that she can be hurt in the end, but she still wanna risk it. Hayyyy... So Finn was of course disappointed and said, "You know he will just hurt you and when that happens, I'm not gonna be there.." sort of like that... So yeah, Finn was dumped.

Hay grabe! May be it's just like that sometimes... that even though you already know that you're just goin to be hurt in the end in a complicated situation, but if you really love the person, you will risk everything. Ganun nga talaga siguro pag love. Hayyyyy.... Sooo.. i'm just gonna wait for the next episode. I can hardly wait actually! haha! Sana bawiin na ni Derek yung sinabi nyang magbaback-out sya!

I really would like to watch the Seasons 1 & 2. Ngayon lang talaga kase akong na-hook! Sana may ma-rent ako sa blockbuster at nang sa ganun magpapakasawa akong manood ng mga namiss ko! Marami-rami yun... =)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

fair day & yesterday

Today marks the expiration of my driver's license. It's sad that my ID has no validity anymore, that I couldn't send my sister to school this morning. Well, I can't do anything about it but to give it away. I wish I could keep it, but I can't. It's gonna be thrown to the trash, then be recycled. Yeah, that's what happened this morning. I surrendered my expired driver's license.... for a new one!!! hahaha! Gotcha! Yesss my dears, I can actually renew it. Remember my previous rants about how am I gonna survive the next three months without a driver's license? That I'm goin to be stuck here at home, doing nothing? Ha! I was totally wrong. I received the documents or receipts of my adjustment of status papers from the lawyers yesterday, and those are the ones needed in order to renew my license. I'm so grateful that I can actually do that! So early this morning, my dad drove me to the DMV and renew it. I have now a temporary driver's license (on a paper again! sucks i know, but it's better to have it than nothing else), which is valid for 30 days, then the formal driver's license will be mailed within a month. I hope the validity of that license is no longer 6 months, but 1 year. So yeah I'm happy that I don't have to let my dad or sister drive me when I need to go out.

******

Last night, my mom and her colleagues celebrated a baby shower in their hospital. My mom brought me along. She toured me around her unit (telemetry), the one where she is the charged nurse. I found myself to be really scrutinizing the place, the machines, the rooms, and somehow having myself taking a peek of the patients. Yeah! There was a longing for me to work already. I'm getting more excited actually, and I miss the smell of the hospital. Well the smell here is good! I mean compared to PGH! haha!

Anyways, it was an opportunity also for me to learn, especially it was also a telemetry unit (which will be my unit in Mt. Sinai most probably). So whatever questions that pop my head, about the hospital stuffs, I asked my mom about them, like the telemetry monitors, how do they do their charting. My my my.. It's really different in here, so very high-tech! They're all computerized, and it's way easier. For instance, with regards to giving their medications. They have push carts that contain every patients' meds. The carts consist of several drawers, wherein each has the patient's name and bed number. Then at the top of every cart is a laptop, where the patients' meds are registered. Whenever you take away a med from the cart, you have to scan it in a little censor which is also attached to the cart. Then once you have given the medication, you also have to scan the wristband of the patient (the one that has his name on it). See, this is really a good strategy for avoiding medical errors, and that you will be ensured that you have given every medication that is required for that patient.

Moving forward to the party itself, I was the only one who's not employed there, but I don't feel out of place, because I know they're all my colleagues. They were amazed when they learned that I am an RN too and got more stupefied upon knowing that I'm already 22! hahaha! They thought I was just 18 (naks naman!) haha. Well, I guess we Filipinos have a secret of how to look young huh.

My mom's colleagues are Americans and Indians. Of course there are Filipinos too, but they weren't there last night. Oh yeah the Indian nurses arrived wearing their native dresses. I forgot what they're called. I think sari. haha. I don't know, I forgot. But they look good in them, then they have the red marks on their foreheads.

Anyways, since it's a potluck, my mom brought a tray of empanadas.. chicken empanadas. So good! She ordered them from her Filipina colleague too, and everyone had liked them. Most of the visitors were Indians, since the one who had the baby shower was an Indian. So what would you expect then, but for the foods to be Indian cuisine. Yes yes! It was my first time to get a taste of Indian foods, and they weren't bad at all. Yeah, actually I liked them. It's just the ones that they brought were mostly rice, and I'm not that fond of eating that much rice, because I get full with it easily. But hey, they're good! One was a fried rice with different spices on them. Then the other was a rice mixed with chicken and different spices (this one was a little spicy but it's good.. I mean it's tolerable!). I was like eating an international cuisine there, because there was also an Italian Zitti. So to sum it up, I ended up being full, because I have tasted almost everything. I have this love for tasting food wherein I am not that afraid to try whatever it is on the table, except for the native exotic foods (the intestines, snakes, insects - I'm NO NO for those! hehe)

******

Today is my last day of my first week of tutoring my 2 students. Ha! There's a lot to tell about those two kids. Sometimes I can feel that I can get a high blood with them, because they're sooo makulit and they would try to manipulate me. But then I have always learned from our Psychiatric Nursing to never allow your patients to manipulate you, that I have to set limits. Then there are times that they will argue to me that my answer is wrong. hayayay.. I just have to control my temper and not argue with them because they are kids. So here comes the nurse trying to be therapeutic and just continue to explain how the answers came out to be the way they are supposed to be. Nonetheless I'm enjoying teaching them, because I also learn a lot in dealing with them. I'm grateful too because I'm able to help them in their homeworks. My student Matthew even got a 100% in his Reading test the other day, and it's an accomplishment for my part too, because I have helped him to finish the book with him understanding it by heart. For the next weeks that I'm going to be dealing with them, I know there will be more challenge, but one thing that I can say now is that it's really hard to be a mother... disciplining the children and all. I mean to be a mom is a really noble job to do. So for now, I don't wanna be a mom yet. hehehe.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

blabber, blabber

I just wanna blabber about something that I may say "good" that just happened to me. The other night, I was chatting with my friend Alex in YM. Then it came to a point when we were discussing about the status of our petition here as RN's in US. Alex, by the way, is my kabarkada who's in Chicago and had been my classmate the whole four years in college. It's just pretty amazing that our petition papers run at the same pace. I mean, after his was filed, two days after it was my turn. Then the other day, he told me that he just had his biometrics that same morning. So I asked him what was that all about. To realize, those actually refer to the fingerprinting and the picture taking for the USCIS to complete the processing. We, applicants, would receive a mail from the USCIS, one that will inform us of our specific schedule to have the biometrics taken in the office within our respective state. Hence I told him that there was no sign of any mail yet for me. Then surprisingly he began to babble about his presentiment that my letter's going to arrive in my mailbox the next day. And I just laughed at him, telling him "Yeah right! Why, who are you, a psychic?" He ignored me and spoke as if he was really serious about it, kept insisting me that I check the day after, because he really has a strong intuition with it. So I yielded to his favor, but still I was just laughing about it, and I didn't believe him.

Not until the next day...


When I woke up, I scanned the dining table for any signs of mail, but no one had gotten those letters out from the mailbox yet. So I went outside, got the letters. There's plenty of them, that I couldn't find one for me while browsing them as I went inside the house. Then one by one, I checked the recipient's name and I was just dumbfounded when I recognized a small envelope from the USCIS! hahaha! Yeah there was really one for me! I was laughing my ass off, and I sounded like a fool hollering at my dad who was in the kitchen, that "OMG, Alex was a psychic! Alex was right!" I know my dad was bewildered about my reaction, so I explained everything to him. Yeah so I was glad that I received my biometric's schedule already and it's really WAY TO GO!!! YIPEE!!! Oh I called Alex after that, and he just kept teasing me, "See? I told you!" I kidded around telling him that I'm going to consult him to foretell me the imminent things that would come along my way, such as my lovelife, hahaha!

*****

Oh yeah, speaking about lovelife, I think I'm so not for it right now. Yeah, I mean, honestly, I don't wanna date anyone for the moment or go out... Haha! May be when I'm quite stable with a work already. I'd like to be focused first to what's in store for me, career-wise. I'd like to save too, financially-wise, 'coz dating now does not really mean that a guy has to do all the expenses. And most importantly, I don't want to be involved as of now. It's like I'm not in the mood of entertaining. I get tired of crying too, which happens if some expectations turned out to be otherwise... and I'd like to take a big break for a while. Lovelife sometimes is just a pain in the ass. I know it shouldn't be that way. Yes, in many ways it inspires us, makes us giggle; but there comes a time that it gives us worries. I know, i know, you'll say it's really a part of the relationship.. Yeah, I understand that it's inevitable. But the thing is, what if you're still not in THE relationship? I mean problems arise already while you're still on the process of dating, the process where you don't have any commitment yet. Some things get complicated. So you see? I've been there.. That's why I don't want to crush myself into that at the moment, 'coz I'm simply not yet ready. So to my suitors out there and those who would like to try (as if there are! Asa! haha!), date other girls first... Just get back to me later on, Lol!!! But feel free to send me gifts, such as flowers, chocolates, anything.. be it internationally or locally! My sisters and brother would surely eat those chocolates. hahaha! Anything, they will be really appreciated. =) Kidding aside, yeah my heart needs healing right now. Not that I'm torn, not that it beats for someone that I can't be with. I promise you I'm over with my past relationships. It's just that I'm not ready to fall again or subject myself to anyone that I might fall for... simple as that. I'm gonna put everything in place first, then I'm surely going back to that, because I tell you I'm a person who dreams of having a family of her own too, someday. Hey, I'm just 22.. still young. Aright, let's be happy!

Friday, October 06, 2006

nakakatamad na nakakatuwa

Nakakatamad ang araw ngayon. Biyernes na biyernes, pero wala akong balak gawin mamayang gabi. Hayyy.. Nagluto pala kami ng mom ko ng palabok! Yumyum! Tumulong ako sa kanya, kase gusto ko rin matuto. Madali lang pala eh, sus! hehe. Basta eh gamit ang Mama Sita's. Tapos gumawa pa kami ng fruit cocktail with almond jelly, at may ginawa ring kaldereta ang daddy ko kanina. Ang dami nga ng pagkain eh. Nakakainis kase kumain na ako kanina ng lunch (yung kaldereta na may kasamang kanin pa, tapos yung left over na peking duck). Di ko naman alam na magluluto kami ng palabok. hehe. Nakakasira tuloy ng diyeta, dapat di na ako nagkanin kanina. Haha! Oh well, para sa merienda/dinner na lang yung iba.

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Ano ba ang magandang gawin ngayon? Promise, nakakatamad. Baka magswimming na lang ako maya-maya, tutal maaraw pa naman. Hindi ko pa ramdam na fall season na. Parang summer pa rin, hehe. Tapos kapag magwiwinter na, baka magkakasakit ako nito, sa sobrang pag-adjust sa klima, kase malamang eh sa Chicago na ako magpapasko. Eh hello, may snow kaya dun diba, tapos malamigin talaga akong tao at madaling sipunin. Pero alam kong magiging masaya kase White Christmas. Tsaka Pasko yun eh. Yup, the fact na Pasko nakakaexcite, hehe. Labo ba? Pero di nga, kase 'pag naririnig ko yung mga kanta eh nakaka-uplift ng spirit, tapos nakikita mo yung mga bahay na maliwanag sa gabi dahil sa mga decors and lights. Basta masaya lang. Wala pa namang mga Christmas songs dito ngayon. Sana nga meron na eh. Malamang mga November pa. Pero diba sa Pilipinas, mga October pa lang eh sobrang ramdam mo na na magpapasko na. Sa radyo ipinatutugtog na nila yung mga kanta. Sa mall may mga decors na rin.

Nga pala, magiging tutor ulit ako!!! Yepyep, yun yung nahanap kong sideline. Sa wakas meron na ulit, para may pera na ako sa Pasko. Well ok naman, kase talagang magaan sa loob ko ang pagtuturo, lalo na sa mga bata. Isang grade 4 at isang grade 6 ang tuturuan ko, mga lalaki. Apat na araw sa isang linggo at apat na oras sa isang araw. Naisip ko, eto rin yung ginawa ko noong nakaraang taon, sa isang high school student nga lang at sa isang subject lang - Algebra. Pero ngayon, all around - Math, Language Arts, Science and History. Tutulungan ko sila sa mga assignments nila, kase may mga trabaho yung mga magulang nila at pagdating sa bahay eh pagod na.

Nakakatuwa nga rin kase pumunta ako sa kanila kahapon at nameet ko sila. Ok na ok yung family, at nagustuhan kaagad ako ng mga bata. Hindi katulad nung nakaraang taon, dahil highschool na yung bata, parang nagka-low self-esteem sya nung kinunan sya ng mommy nya ng tutor. So ayun, sa Lunes na nga ako magsisimula. Nakakatuwa sila lalo na si Matthew, yung grade 4, kase sabi nya bakit sa Lunes pa raw ako babalik at hindi ngayong araw. Hehe. Masaya at nakuha ko kaagad ang kanyang tiwala. Sana makontrol ko sila, kase hyper sila. Pero base sa dryrun namin kahapon, madali naman silang turuan at nakukuha kaagad nila, kaya sana di ako mahihirapan.

O siya, lalangoy muna ako at para makapagexercise na rin. Ingat ang lahat! =)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

being a scapegoat

Five days ago, I checked my Yahoo inbox, and to my surprise there was this e-mail address from a stranger with a subject "PSST...." So I opened it and it was a hate e-mail. She was accusing me of flirting to a taken person, more probably with her boyfriend. I was like, "WHATTT?" She said, "baka sumaya ka pa ulit ha, katrina. magtira ka naman ng kahihiyan sa sarili mo & MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" Gaaad, what the heck is she talking about? I replied of course, I would not let myself be thought of as a coward, and in the first place, I don't really have any single clue as to what she's been saying to me.

In my first reply I was calm, because it might be a wrong sent e-mail. She might meant a different Katrina, and I wasn't even used to be known as Katrina in UP Manila. I am always called there as Kating. Oh by the way, she was from UP Manila too, a graduate of the College of Pharmacy specifically, because her e-mail address bears uppharm along with her initials. But I don't know her. So I searched for her in friendster, and I found her, but I have to satisfy myself with her small primary picture because her profile is exclusive for her closely connected-friends. But still I can recognize her and I realized that I haven't met or known such girl.

Going back to my first reply, I asked her if she's sure that I am the Katrina that she's referring to, and I even pointed out to her if how would I flirt and with whom, because I'm here in the States and I'm being discrete the whole time.

Last night I found myself reading her next reply, but this one really made me sick. I really thought she was mistaken, but her reply was this, "i know. andyan ka nga sa florida to flirt, diba? katrina espanol, ikaw nga! di ko alam kung bakit hindi succesful ang lovelife mo pero sana di ka maghanap ng idadamay. ako din nanahimik pero ikaw nang-iistorbo. i need not elaborate more on this."

After reading that, I pressed the Reply button and began typing. It was so unfair, being accused and being thought of something that you are not. I emphasized to her that I'm here in Florida to find a work and to be with my family and NOT to flirt, that I don't have time for that flirting things that she keeps on telling me, because my priority is my family and to be able to have the job and established career. I asked her, "Sino ba ang boyfriend mo in the first place, and in what way kita iniistorbo?" She really needs to elaborate on that beause I have no idea with it, and I'm not acting like a fake innocent, because I am really innocent with it. Damn! I even told her to watch out the words that she's using, and she should be wary of the things she's been saying all along, that she makes sure that she says them right. And how would I flirt here and with whom? I don't even have guy friends here to flirt with in the first place. I mean I'm always at home, then the guys that I know are just my cousins, my brother, my dad, uncles, and some family friends that I am not even really close with. Ugghh, my blood pressure was reaching its peak.

Furthermore, I told her not to dare talk about my lovelife and not to dare say that it's not successful. Having no boyfriend at the moment does not entail that one's lovelife is not successful. I mean I'm happy with my status now and I'm not looking. Besides, she doesn't have any idea what I had been thru to just simply blurt that out, and I really told her that I had been happy with my past relationships, so she has no right to say what she has said; and that she should first decipher every word that she's about to tell me before uttering it.

She's too much. I can't handle her. Before pressing the send button, I checked her friendster profile again, and her primary picture this time was a shot of her with her boyfriend. I just laughed, because I don't even know who the guy is. Hahaha! I consulted my friend Max about this, and he told me that there may be another Katrina with the same surname as mine, but I said "Nope.. The girl even checked my friendster profile too." The heck right? I texted some of my friends too about her, and they told me that they don't know her. I just burst into a laugh when they told me, "Maganda ka kase, baka may crush sayo yung boyfriend nya." haha! Sigh. I think I said enough to the girl after I told her, "By the way, I just saw your friendster's primary pic and yung baby/boyfriend mo, di ko kilala.."

Let's wait and see then, if she would still reply. Some things are just crazy, that you don't even know that someone hates you already. Well at least this girl informed me, but it's just that it was ALL wrong... She hated me for the wrong senseless reason.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Idle, idler, idlest

I'm quite lost these past few days. Or may be I'm just being impatient. My idle moments were spent on thinking about how bored I am, that I still have three months to spare before I can finally work. Well, cross your fingers with me that by January 2007, I'll be able to start working legally in the hospital... (Thanks for that! *smiles*) But yes, three more months - October, November and December of I-don't-know-what-to-do-coz-I'm-so-bored. What am I gonna do on those months? I cannot be the family driver anymore like I have been for the past few months, because unfortunately, the expiration of my Florida driver's license is just 11 days away from this date. If you ask why, it's due to the fact that my entry here in US is supposed to be just until the 11th of October, so the term given to me (in my driver's license) has been based all along from that.

By the way, I haven't updated everyone that my petition as an RN was finally filed to the immigration last week (YEYYY!!!), so I'm not going home anymore in the Philippines come this Oct. 5. On the other hand, my plane ticket to Manila will no longer be useful. I have a choice to have it rescheduled before this Oct.5, but I should fly on or before April 11, 2007. However, I chose to cancel it (unfortunately it cannot be refunded), because I have to pay around $250 for the rescheduling, and I don't wanna risk that, since I'm quite sure I couldn't come back there by April 2007, once I already start with the employment.

Going back to my being in the state of boredom, it reached me a point this week to call and e-mail some of my friends and relatives here in the States, those that reside in New York, Texas, Chicago, and of course here in Florida. I solicited their help if they know some sidelines that I can have (mga side-kicks, hehe). Who knows, they know someone and I'm willing to see some options. Actually I prefer either in New York or Chicago because those are the states I know that provide the best access to public transportation, like subways and buses, because as I have said my driver's license is soon expiring.

Several of them responded. My tita in Texas told me to hang on for another three months. She said that I did it for six months, why not three more. Well it's because those six months had been busy. Imagine, I arrived here April 11, 2006. April 11-17, I was there in Texas for the holy week. April 26 - it's my birthday, and that was also the time I had received my Authorization to test (ATT) for NCLEX. So, for the entire May, it was review time for the state board exam. June 1st - I took the exam and I passed *smiles*. The next step was taking the IELTS by June 29, which I passed too *smiles again*. So come to think of it, May and June were pretty toxic months for me to finish all the exams I needed.

On the other hand, July consisted of summer days. That meant vacation days in Orlando with the family. Then the rest of the month were spent finding for a job, having interviews with the employer, and getting really psych about the job offers.

August had been more fun, with the first two weeks being occupied by my application for the VisaScreen and the medical exam errands. My cousins were here, so we have gone to the clubs and to the beach. The last two weeks comprised of my trip to Chicago and the hangover I had with the latter. By far, it was the best month among the six that I had here in the States since April!

September seemed to be just fine. Time was consumed by my following up for my VisaScreen and settling the paperworks with the lawyer for the petition. I had also been sending and picking up my siblings to and from their schools. So whatever it is, I had been doing something for this month. What's best in this September too was the most-awaited filing of my petition, as I've said above; and with that it made me more optimistic to the 90%, that I can receive my working visa, before the year ends. Again, that will be if God permits it to happen.

Okay, okay... I'm sorry for stretching you too far by my flashbacks, but stay with me. Are you still here with me? hehe. I hope so. Anyways, going back, my friends in Chicago also gave their options that I can stay there with them too until January. But they have to ask still if they can offer me something. I might do what Alex has been doing. I can't help but get excited because if ever I'd choose to go there, then I can spend winter there and not be lonely at all when my whole family go home in the Philippines by Christmas. My mother by the way gave her yes to me so I'm just waiting for the go signal of my friends.

New York is being considered too, but my relatives discouraged me because it's complicated to find options there and what might they offer me might turn out to be depressing in the end. Then I was also thinking that I am not really close with my relatives there (my second degree relatives), and my cousins there are not with my age group. Hmmm, but still, there are times that I wanna risk it, because I wouldn't know unless I'll try, right? hehe. There must be some adventure here, and I'd like to savor one. It would help me to become more independent and be more ready for the upcoming job by January. It would be a warm-up. Hehe.

Here in Florida, I asked a friend. I haven't met him in person yet, only his parents. He's a Filipino too, and I just took chances by asking him thru YM if he can help. He replied fortunately, and asked me a while ago if he can contact me so he can give the details on what he has gathered. Wow, he's pretty fast and that's a good sign. So for now, I'll just wait for his call. I hope it would be a good option, so that I wouldn't have to leave FL to keep me occupied for the three months. Nevertheless, I am still determined that I'll spend my Christmas in another state, with friends. My choices? -- Chicago (with my college classmates), Texas (with my Tita) or Maryland (with Via). Oh, let's add Connecticut (with family friends that I already miss. The last time I saw them was in 1999. That was in Dec too, and Christmas there with bunch of Filipinos was amazing!)

So there, I'll just update you what would happen next. Well if none of these works, then I guess the least that I can do is just wait... again! I hope it wouldn't be that bad as I often think it would be. I'll just look forward to the 50th birthday of my mom, on Oct. 24th (the party is on the 21st), a wedding party of a friend on the 26th I think, then Halloween on Oct. 31st. On the month of November, it's Thanksgiving of course, then Christmas season on December. Yeah, I know it's not that bad. Actually I have another reason why I need to do something. I told you Christmas is just two months away! I need some $$$!!! hahaha!!! That's the other side of the coin, I admit. And trust me, it gets boring lately. I'm so bored, so bored, so bored! I can't drive soon, and I have to find a way to get out of the house. Yeah, I'm not the type of person who can stay in the house for days doing absolutely nothing. I must be productive you know.

Okay, Adios for now! =)

Monday, September 25, 2006

In a state of coma

To relinquish a thing that has value is an arduous task, but in life there are moments that one has no choice but to unleash. The mortal then becomes acquainted to it that her heart does not know any longer how the hurting feels. The face can show grimace or a smile, yet it must be scrutinized with caution for her expression can launch a thousand words. It is also full of uncertainties. The impulse her heart tries to undulate beat by beat remains to be a mere prerequisite to still be in life. But unknowingly, it is dead; it is no longer sensitive... or it just chooses not to.
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In a piece of time though, she will be arousable, rising up from the state of coma, and begin to savor the world, again. Yet a distinctive scar is left and there remains the fear of not being able to go back to where life has begun. Reservations fill her up. Inevitably and much worse, there will be resistance to the various medicament consumed, depending on the ability of the mind and heart to cope with the dubiety that takes over her. An inclination to artificial devices may even serve significant to process the once unsevered heart.

But then again, in spite of everything, she can rebuild herself in the fullest she wants it to be. It is her choice how contentment will suffice her expectations. Then finally it will be a Renaissance.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

not too late at all


There comes a time that I just sit and think that I fear each day as it passes me by... pondering about the endless worries that clog my mind. If you cast a light on me, in one way or another, you may see me thru my shadow that I'm a lucky duck. But there is no day that I don't feel useless, especially now that there are things holding me back. But then the sun won't set down seeing my numb facade. It keeps on shining until I realize that I got something to be happy about this day, one or two things that I am to be grateful of. Then his rays start to recede knowing that he made it on time. Pleasant surprises come my way and I can't thank God enough for His lovely blessings. Sometimes you don't have to necessarily wait for a miracle to happen, because it always occurs, continuously. You just have to feel it and see it for yourself. Thank you sunshine maker for not being late at all... yeah not at all!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

I so love my family

I so love this day.

I didn't know that things would turn out to be this great today. I spend time with my family everyday, and yes we're close with each other, but it seems everything has been a routine. But today? It's way different. I had a blast! Today's Sunday has been a terrific family day! It's just like the good old days back in the province in the Philippines when I was small... even better! Yeah way better! I didn't expect that we can be closer enough like this.

First thing in the morning, the whole family heard mass in St. Andrews. It's a good start for a sunny Sunday. Then we proceeded to the mall, and had a brunch, at Market Grill. It was a buffet, so everything has been good. After being full, my mom decided for us to walk around (for us to burn at least some calories) and do some shopping. It has been a while too since the whole family did some shopping together... I mean with my dad and that.

Oh yeah, my dad has been great these days that he doesn't look like he's sick or anything. He's full of energy, unlike before that he'd rather stay at home or just sit outside the stores and wait for us. But this afternoon, he shopped with us and even bought some stuffs for himself. I'm glad he's feeling so healthy. I hope it would be always like that.

Anyways, after strolling in the mall for like an hour and a half, we went home and my mom tried to get a nap. She came from her night duty before we heard mass, that's why she needed to get some sleep. At around 5:30 PM, my parents decided we go to the beach in Deerfield. It was really spontaneous and I liked it. I was like, "Yeah come on! Let's go!" The weather was good, and it was still sunny so we were off to Deerfield. In short, we had a joyride. Oh, we didn't swim if that's what you're gonna ask, because we just wanted to witness a relaxing view and do some sightseeing.

Deerfield is just like 30 minutes away from our city, but what we had was a long joyride since the street where the beach is located is a like a long endless road. We just took the sidestreet in going to and from there, since taking freeway would be a hindrance to enjoy the view.

So okay, we were there in the road by the beach. I didn't have any idea that that place had to be that appealing. I had really appreciated the beauty of South Florida... The scenery, it's beautiful! The houses, they are vast that you would wish you own them for their strategic location, which is in front of the beach and a lake on the backyard. How is that huh? Then several house owners there own a yacht and there are a few riding some jet skis. So it's obvious that one has to be a millionaire to possess such property and live in such place. I guess some houses there are owned by some famous actors. There are a lot of condominiums too and hotels there for the tourists. Now, I had a new spot where I can bring my friends when they go visit me down here in the South. It's really really near us so there's no hassle.

After that breathtaking drive, we went to my aunt's house to drop off our gift to my nephew Andrew. We stayed there for a while, then my mom asked us if we wanna go to Starbucks. Whew! I was surprised that my parents weren't even tired. So Starbucks here we come! We went there in The Walk. It's like a famous place too here in our city, where you walk.. haha just kidding (corny)! =) Well yeah of course you walk, but it's a place to hang out too, where there are shops and restaurants. More of like Eastwood in Metro Manila. Each of us had a frappucino then we strolled around and found a good place to sit.

Coffee time then became a bonding session time! I really enjoyed the talking with my sisters and parents. I haven't mentioned, by the way, that my brother Charles wasn't there, because he went to a hockey game with his friends. Anyways, we just talked about anything under the sun... the future of my youngest sister where in Bridget and I will be the ones who's going to finance her high school (in a private Catholic school) and college, hahah.... then how my sis Bridget wants to become a pharmacist and that I'll pursue Med, may be, coz I still want to, really! Then how exciting it will be if I'm working already, so I can treat my family to a trip to Europe or anywhere they want to. It was really a great conversation, one that we had a good laugh about.

We also talked about the upcoming trip to the Philippines. I don't wanna say "their" trip, because I'm still crossing my fingers that I could come home, even for just 10 days. They were really trying to make me jealous that they're gonna do the Simbang gabi there and eat puto bumbong afterwards, then they're going to Davao and Boracay after New Year. Hmmpphh... I hope my parole visa will be approved. If ever I would get into the work, I'll request that I'll start my work on January, so that I can spend time with my family without any preoccupations yet.

Moreover, I told my sister Bridget that whenever I have the chance to go home with them, I'm going to introduce her to my friends and for the two days that we are to be in Manila (Yeah, just two days though because we/they will just spend 18 days all in all in the Philippines), I (with my friends) would bring her to the famous bars in Makati, so that she can try partying, get a taste of Manila parties (and get some good drinks of course) there at the age of 16, hahaha! After all no ID is needed in PI and she looks older than 16, so there would be no worries. Plus plus plus, we can go shopping together in Greenhills for cheaper stuffs, then Gateway, G4 and Greenbelt, then to the Mall of Asia (where I have not been yet). It would be so nice to do that right? My sis is very excited too. Ha, how I really wish I can go with them. Please God, please, can it be my Christmas gift? Just a two-week vacation with my family? It would be so much fun! =)

So there, that's my extraordinary Sunday! I feel sooo lucky to belong to this loving family! They're such a blessing and I thank God that this day has been so wonderful that we left every worries behind and just enjoy the day like there is no tomorrow.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

happy here, so smile with me =)

This morning Colet texted me that she and Hiyas were partying out and she asked me if I wanted to call them. They're both of my closest friends in college and since I still haven't used that 20-minute monthly free call from TFC, I decided to dial Hiyas' mobile phone. It really felt good to talk with the two of them to the point that I haven't noticed that it was already past 20 minutes. hahaha! I ended up having around 24 minutes from that TFC, then I dialed Colet's mobile phone number using the regular land phone this time (which was not free) so I could talk to them more. I decided to utilize 30 minutes, and I guess my mom would not mind because it's just 30 minutes compared before when I was still with my ex, wherein I talked with him for like a total of 3-4 hours monthly.

Anyways, the girls were asking me if when will I come home in Manila, coz they've been waiting for me. They missed going out with me, and yeah I so admit that I really miss those two bruhas. I love them so much! They are the ones whom I share my secrets with, those deepest secrets you could ever imagine hahaha! We know everything about each other's lovelives and we share dreams whether they are realistic or not. It's just that we do hope we can achieve our dreams in life and to tell you, one of the craziest is to have the chance to party on each of the states here in the US. *big grin* YES!!! Nice huh?! We can do it.. We will do it! lol. Well, even before in Manila, we had already survived going out several times just the three of us against those big groups around us. But who cares, we were enjoying and we can talk anything we want.

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Kat, Colet and Hiyas


It's just comforting to know that we haven't lost our communication. Hiyas and I often e-mail each other, and take note: the e-mails we send each other are detailed, like if you're gonna print one, it will be more or less a 3-page e-mail. hahaha! Yeah, it happens like twice a month and it helps maintain our friendship strong. It's like saying "so near yet so far."

Colet was also asking me this morning if I still want to pursue medicine. Honestly, yes. I really regret it that I didn't take the NMAT when I was in college. What if I had taken it? I'm sure I am in Med school right now. Anyways, I told her that yes I still want to become a doctor, but not now, because I have to save money first to pay for the tuition. I was asked if where would I take it, but that I don't know yet. It would also be nice if I would take Med in Manila, because the tuition is way cheaper than having to take it here in the States, plus I would become a full time student there. But we'll see if there are opportunities to get some scholarship here, or may be once I'm already working, the institution can sponsor my med school provided that I will just serve them for like two years. One definite thing I'm determined of pursuing is that I'll have further study, be it in Med or Masters in Nursing (becoming a Nurse practitioner). I have this love for school and while I'm still young and my mind is still able of absorbing knowledge, why not, right? Colet wants to take med too, and she wants us to do it together... here in the States. Well, why not again? haha. I was also happy to hear her say that she was already preparing her Visa. I don't know what kind of Visa is she trying to get though, because she can get that one used by the politicians (since she's a councilor), or a tourist visa.

I wish we could have talked longer than 50 minutes. In our case, it was not enough. Imagine us talking non-stop, sharing stories, laughing and screaming!!! hahaha! But a while ago, I've shed a tear while telling my own story. Awww... I just miss them so much. Good for them they have the chance to hang out with close friends anytime. But me, the happiest chance that I can hang out with my close friends now is to hang out with them over the phone! Yes yes... conversing with them, at least, makes me happy for real. I can talk to my friends here in the States for unlimited on weekends and weeknights (9PM-8AM), and I got a 20-min free call to the Phils monthly. YEY!!! That makes me feel good.

But heyyy you... don't you pity me, ok? May be you would say that I got a shallow happiness. Nah! I pity you if you tell me that. It's because I have this view in life that in one thing or another, you can be happy. It's your choice if you want to be happy or not. If you think you can smile with what you have, then you won't be sad right? I pity those people who cannot find happiness with what they already have. Other times, you may feel incomplete, but you should not feel low about it. You have to look at the brighter side and later on you will realize that there's something to smile about. Sh*t happens too, but hey it's not the end of the world!!! Everyday is a new day. I know you have heard this several times, but take a chance to savor each morning. Each day is a chance to move on, a chance to realize that there are a lot of things that is worth smiling about. It's a chance to leave all your preoccupations behind. Otherwise, it's your lost for not making the day a good one.

Here in the States, I really appreciate the people greeting you whenever you buy anything from a store, or if you mail a letter in the post-office. They may be strangers too, but it isn't hard for them to say, "Hi, how's your day?" or "How are you today?" Then you'll end up smiling and say, "Hi! I'm good.." "I'm great"... "My day is awesome! How do you do?" Even if you're tired, you can still smile at them for greeting you. Then if you're about to leave, they're always saying, "Have a nice day!", "Have a nice weekend ahead of you." Those simple words can brighten up your day, right?

So there, I have my own way to be happy, and I feel good about it that I have a very positive outlook in life. Yes, sometimes I cry. I don't deny it. Crying is good, but just don't let it destroy your day or don't let it ruin you to the point that you get depressed. Okay? So smile!!! =) As for me, I feel lucky and happy that despite the distance, despite the time difference my friends and I have, I know that I have them at my back. Yes, I don't see them, but I'm sure they are there caring for me, they love me and they want to know and they want to be assured that I'm doing fine and that I'm not forgetting how to smile.

So my friends out there, i miss you terribly, but in a good way! Just wanna let you know that I'm doing good! And whatever it takes, I get the chance to make my day a happy one, and that I'm constantly smilin' =) So cheer up there youuu... It ain't bad at all, is it?

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Weather weather lang yan

Hiyee!!! It's been a while since I've written something about myself here. hehe. Tinatamad kase ako for the past few days. Nothing much to tell naman kase. Nothing's really new. But since medyo ginaganahan ako magkwento ng kung anu-ano ngayon, sisimulan ko na.

I texted my friend about the results of UAAP Cheerdance competition, and I expected that UP would have placed second, but I was a bit disappointed when I heard that we just garnered the third place, coz the routine seemed to be just the same like last year daw. Sayang naman. But it's okay. Weather weather lang yan, tsaka I know everyone had tried his/her best, and I'm still proud to be a UPian. Congrats to UP, FEU and to the champions, the UST!!! Buti na lang eh mahal ko rin ang UST, coz my dad and most of my cousins came from UST. hehe.

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A while ago we went to Toyota. My parents just bought my 16-year old sister a car. It's a brand-new white Toyota Yaris Sedan.

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Wow! She's just 16 and she got a car! And how about me? I'm 22 and yet I don't have my own car! Tsk tsk tsk.... Lucky girl huh? Yeah, she really wants a car, and she has convinced my parents to buy her one. Well, it's ok, I'm not jealous coz I'm just waiting for my work, and it will be easy for me to buy one once I have a job. Weather weather lang yan. Besides, I would want a different car, and I want to buy from my own pocket too. It would be too much if I would ask my mom to buy me a new car now that I'm done with my school. Also, I understand my sister's need for the car, even if she's just in junior high school, because she always goes to water polo practice; she always goes out with friends (well, that's for leisure and not need though); and it would spare my parents (and me) the time to send and pick her and my brother up from school.

I asked her right after my parents signed the car papers if she has already thanked them (my parents), so she said, "Oh yeah! Thank you Mama (a peck for Mom) and Thank you Papa (and a peck for Dad)." Tingnan mo nga naman tong batang to... Muntik pang makalimutang magpasalamat sa mga magulang. Hehe. But nah, don't get it wrong. Each of us was not spoiled by our parents. We were raised in such a way that we're equals and there are times that we don't and cannot get what we want.

This year 2006 has been a lucky year for my sis. She got a grand sweet 16th birthday party last March. She had it like the typical Filipina's 18th birthday (debut), with all the roses and candles, only they were 16 (coz it's sweet 16th that matters here and then the 21st birthday). I missed it though 'coz I was in the Philippines reviewing for my NCLEX. Then she got a car by now. Then in December, she's gonna go home with the whole family in the Philippines. So so lucky! I hope it goes on and on for her...

Anyways, yeah yeah yeah... my whole family is going home in PI in December. But me? Nahhh.. I still don't know. Unless I'll go home there this Oct, I would be left here in the States for Christmas. The whole Espanol family is going home. Wahhhh!!! There will be a grand family reunion in Marbel, South Cotabato, for both sides of the family.

I hate it that I always miss the important family events. Sigh...
You know what? During my debut (18th birthday), I celebrated it grandiously in Makati Shangrila Hotel, with about 120 guests (relatives, friends and classmates), yet my nuclear family was not there =( They were here in the States, because they couldn't go home. Their petition was in the process that time, so they had no choice. I was the one who took care of my party. It was pretty awesome though. I had arranged everything, from the invitations, to my gowns (care of my kababayan Randy Ortiz), to the venue... Everything! It was tiring but I had fun, because I have this love for event organizing. Anyways, I had a blast that night. Everything was perfect except that I had missed my family, which actually made me a bit teary when I had my speech. It was a once in a lifetime event of my life, that was why even though my family cannot be there for me that time, they made sure I would have a fairytale-like party (which was my dream, kase girly-girly ako masyado, hehe), and I thank them for that. Nung sembreak na lang sila bumawi, when I went to the States and the whole family took a trip to Sacramento and San Francisco.

And again, as I've said, I had missed my sister's sweet 16th just this year. And this coming Christmas, they're gonna go home and they would also go to Boracay (wahhhh!), and I would be left alone if ever I should stay here. Kamusta naman diba? I'm sure it would be a lot of fun there in the province, because the last time we had our grand reunion was more than 10 years ago, and now I'm gonna miss it big time! Darn!!! Kakainggit! But I would risk it if it would be the only way for me to start here. Okay lang na maiwan ako dito, as long as makakastart na ako sa work. I've told my mom that I'll just go on vacation with my friends, may be in Chicago again. Yes, my friends are inviting me over again if ever I won't be able to go home in PI. Sooo, okay lang din. I know I have a way to be happy too. This would be my second time to experience Christmas away from the whole family... if ever.

Bahala na si Lord. He knows best. And again, weather weather lang yan. =)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

ok go - fun on treadmills

This was the Ok Go's treadmill performance in the recent MTV video music awards! They performed Here it Goes Again live and it was just plain awesome!

I wonder if how many practices have they done in order to perfect it. It's sooo creative, and I bet my pwet that a lot would imitate their way of performing, haha!

Aright, pause first my music down there, and take a chance to enjoy the video! =)

Saturday, September 02, 2006

party and dream

What am I gonna write about? hmm.. I was out yesterday, we went in the downtown, for my cousin James's 21st birthday. We had a good time in Fat Tuesday and at Howl at the Moon. Since it was my cousin's 21st, we really made sure he would remember it for the rest of his life. Haha! We got him wasted, to the point of puking! Yeah, that was because he mixed his drinks. I mean my cousin Marlo bought him Sex on the beach drink, then he had two beers, then the Cruzan Mango, then the Mudslide, then another two different drinks I guess. We went home past three already.

I had a little hangover this morning, but I was fine. My stomach just ached a bit for a while, but then when I ate, it was gone. Today by the way is my brother Charles's birthday celebration here at home, so there's family gathering again and lots and lots of food! Filipino foods for us family and American foods for my bro's friends. The empanada and the kutsinta, and my favorite pansit molo are really good! But uggghhh, I ate a lot! haha But it's no biggie, I can go back to my diet tomorrow. I need to coz lately I've been binging. May be it's because my period is coming. hahaha, talking about PMS! But I'm in good mood lately... Why is that so? Hmmm... Secret! lols.

You know what, I still have hang-over with my trip in Chicago. Sometimes, my mind flies there. Haha. If we only have time machine right? or just a fast jet that will let you travel anywhere in a matter of minutes. I wonder if someday people can travel like from here in Florida to Chicago (or anywhere in the world), in just 30 minutes, and there will be like access to that every 15 minutes, more of like the system of MRT and buses, only in jet though? Then you can also return here in Florida at the same night, because you have to work the next day. It will be a magic and may be that would more likely to happen in the next next next generation. May be with my great great grandchildren. hahaha!

I'm tired now. I had a long day, helping my parents in preparing for the party and running errands. Oh yeah I watched Silent Hill a while ago, but because the kids were sooo noisy, I haven't really concentrated with the conversation, so I think I need to watch the last part again to fully understand it. It was complicated but Max already told me the gist, so somehow I got it, but I just wanna watch it again if I can get a time.