slowly saved

I just don't understand how life goes on. One moment you're happy, that everything seemed perfect, then all of a sudden everything changed and you can be so down. It's sad to realize that fairy tales do take chances and you sure are lucky if one lands on your palm. I've never imagined for things to happen this way and that I tend to question if do i really deserve this? Am I treated like a crap? Was there love at all? Gaaa, I can't believe this had happened. Not now... Ooops not! I'm taking it back. I'm glad it happened as earlier as now. At least I've spared myself.

Oh well, that's the way it should be probably, but still I hope that sometime soon, life's gonna treat me well. I can still handle it, but sometimes it's just too much.. too much that I myself, am trying to smile numbly just to make myself feel better, but deep inside you're not feeling alright, or I am.. Not!

Well just as I thought of it, I am the person who can easily move on. I guess it's just a matter of getting used to it. But I should learn my lesson, yes I did... or I didn't? Sigh... I also have to make use of my smart ass, not just that brainless heart. And I just hate myself for not knowing how to get mad at all... not at all. I just complained to myself but I don't know how to express to the secondary person. I'm just appease with the situation that people see me that I am fine, fine like I am not hurting inside. I really know how to keep things myself.

But I'm better now I'm telling you. Better than good is good right? I just have to move on with my life and fulfill those dreams I want. Yes it's not that bad. I still have my faith that God won't give me troubles that I cannot surpass. I wonder if how life would be if it has no scratches at all, wouldn't it be boring? At least for now, it's challenging. Seeing the brighter side huh? Yeah, I know I can overcome all of these.

Anyways, I'm off to my preceptorship in my work last month, pretty much enjoying the job. Everyday is a new day and a learning experience for me. I am closer to my co-workers and friends. They are a family to me.

I also really miss my friends in the Philippines though. Especially the girls. I wish they're here...