Friday, March 28, 2008

my commandment

"Thou shall not disrupt the serenity I'm feeling right now."

Serenity... yes, that's what I'm feeling at the moment. Well, since yesterday, it has dawned on me that I just feel I'm totally refreshed. I don't know exactly the reason behind it. Probably the post easter mania? Most likely. The Easter season provided me the chance to reflect thoroughly about my past and my present, the life that I have lived and how I have traversed thru it, and of course up to this time -- how I constantly deal with everyday's tribulation.

Remembering my dad and Karlo was the highlight of my easter reflection, of course besides meditating on Christ's suffering. And I prayed, I talked to them as if they are just beside me. It made me miss them so much, and it reached the point that I found myself looking back, literally and figuratively. I tried to glance over my photographs with Karlo, and sad to say it was 4 years ago. But those memory were all good. I'm proud that we never really fought and we've always had our ways to compromise, to settle issues, and that had made our relationship stronger, which a lot of people envied.

Anyhow, I'm surprised that while I was driving yesterday to Miami to go to a seminar for my friend's daughter's Baptism (They require Godparents here to attend such seminar), I feel the serenity that I have been longing to feel for quite some time. Amidst the traffic, never did I enjoy driving that much until yesterday. I found myself humming to the songs the radio station was playing. I really had a good time with myself. I kept looking back for some incidences of my life, but even if I have thought of some instances which are not that good, they didn't bother me. I guess I have looked at the positive sides of those and accepted to myself that life goes on, and indeed without those trials, I would never ever be where I'm now. And that they had helped me to become stronger. And again, I'm proud of it. I was never lost at all, and I thank God for that. I touched the rosary then that was hanging on my rearview mirror, and told myself that "this is the day that I feel I'm reborne, and no one will disrupt the serenity I'm feeling."

My heart is still healing right now, quietly and right. and I don't want anyone to cross over the process of healing I'm undertaking at this time. I try to focus and not go astray. It's quite surprising that I have no temptations to go out that much. It might sound boring and laid back, but yes, I try to be a homebody now. With this peaceful life I'm living, I'm doing my study for the upcoming exams. Being in the midst of organizing myself to focus more on my review, it's hard, especially having not studied for like 2 years already, plus I have work. But I'm determined to achieve my dreams and I believe in myself that I can do it. No one can stop me. This is it I guess. I found serenity and I'm hoping I'll stay in this homeostasis as I proceed.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

in becoming an ICU nurse

Phew! I'm off today! This week was pretty tiring. I had ICU classes from Monday to Wednesday, from 8am to 3:30pm, and then next week again, same days and time. I'm really not a morning person. It's just that I'm too lazy to get up early, seems like my body clock is made to be functioning well at nights. Oh well, that happened since I started working nights. I remember that I hated nights before during college days, hehe. Anyways, it was not really information overload that got me to feel tired for the past few days. It's the lack of sleep actually. Last Monday night, we went to hard rock at bayside with my colleagues, just for dinner and catching up, so we stayed up a lil late over there, then i needed to wake up early. Plus the sometimes-boring lectures that we have. But I do appreciate some of the topics that we had discussed, especially the Hemodynamics and the neuro part specifically the ICP monitoring and the discussion about ventriculostomy. I should read about that later on, coz we're goin to have an exam on wednesday. I need to understand further the concept about the Intraaortic balloon pump as well as the Swan-Ganz catheter, their monitoring and stuff. It's a big role for an ICU nurse to understand this hemodynamics, and I guess once you know how to deal with it, then surely you can testify to yourself that you are really an ICU nurse, hehehe! Dr Gottlieb, one of our consultants in Pulmo, also discussed concepts re Respiratory distress. One thing he emphasized was the Oxygen Sat of the patient is not always reliable. A person could sat 100% yet he's not doing good anymore. But then again, the most exciting part was the NEURO, discussed by Ms Amy Eisenberg. She's an ARNP and a CNRN as well, and mind you she's a Filipino. Winner pa rin ang mga Pinoy! hehehe.

Those lectures about the drips and the pacers are the most boring part! hahaha! It got me closing my eyes already, and I was in front. Oh one more thing, the funniest part is that I think I am the youngest (in terms of age) among the nurses there in the class, but I'm the senior in terms of being an RN. The rest of them are new, most of them are fresh out of school. It's just that all of us are new in the ICU environment. So yeah, some topics are quite redundant for me already, such as the protocols and the paperworks to be done. Nevertheless, it's an opportunity for me to learn something new and interesting, to get to know new faces too, and of course it's an added credit to my CEUs.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Thought of the day...

"Who Should Be Blamed When A Leaf Falls From A Tree? Is It The Wind That Blew It Away? The Tree That Let It Go? Or The Leaf Who Grew Tired Of Holding On?"

Think about it. I found this on my friend's shout out in friendster... And it caught me right away...

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

randomly written

Since I transferred to ICU, I got plenty of chance to have consecutive day offs, and it feels great! Yeah, I always work 3 days straight now, and then have longer offs, like 3-4 days off. One time I even got a 6-day off straight. Isn't it nice? If Philippines is only a drive away or even a 6-hour plane travel, I would not hesitate going home. I was thinking I can go out of state too, but I have no company. My friend Michelle is studying for her NCLEX. I wish her all the best for the exam. I know she'll do great.

Anyways, this is my fourth day off. I've been lazy for a while, just hanging on here at home, watch tv, eat, surf the net. Hmm, my colleague called me up this morning if I could do overtime in 8 Main. I'd love to but it's the 18th birthday of my lovely sister today, and we'll have a family dinner later. I don't wanna miss it, coz I already missed her sweet 16th before.


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So yeah, my sis is already 18. How time flies so fast. I'm so proud of her. She's smart and beautiful. We're not that close but she knows I'm always here for her. She's a senior now, and by fall season, she's gonna go to college. She passed all the schools that she wanted. No doubt coz she ranks 9th among all the senior students. Probably there are 600-700 of them. (Mana talaga sa ate! nyaha!) So she's trying to figure out now where she'll be. She's trying to choose between University of Florida and University of Austin in Texas, and she'll be taking up Pharmacy. It's amazing that their pharmacy course here is automatically PhD, and that's for 6 years. She can do it, I'm certain with that.


She came home a while ago from school and I gave her my gift. She was surprised and I was glad that she liked what I gave. I got her a Juicy Couture perfume set from Nordstrom.

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I know she liked opening gifts. I used to give her money but sometimes I would rather receive a present. It's the feeling of unwrapping gifts that's more exciting. My little sister (10-year old) was funny too. She made a card for her ate and inside the envelope she put a dollar. Lol. We kept on laughing.

As for me, I got myself a makeover the other day. haha! Trip trip lang. I got my hair permed.

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I look different but I like it. More sophisticated. But I was having a hard time fixing my hair. I thought it would be easier, but I found it tiresome, like you have to apply a mousse, which I haven't done in my entire life, lol. Then you must use a dryer with a diffuser. A change for me too coz I need to buy shampoo and conditioner that's good for a curled hair. Wahhh! Kinda expensive pala. But it's all good. Sometimes a dare for a change is a challenge and exciting. Sometime again, I'll go back to my straight hair, when this would grow out.

Hmm... my mom and I also went shopping this morning. She came from work, then she called me up that we'll meet at the mall. Yeah I remember today was the start of the sale in Macy's for their make ups and shoes. For the shoes, you'll buy one and get one for a dollar. So I fixed myself and drove over there. My mom bought her make ups and she got 2 pairs of shoes, because of that promo. But as for me, I didn't like the shoes that were on the sale, but I got a pair of shoes from nine west, a 4-in patent shoes. It was less 10% off the original price

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Gahh, I've been a sucker for shoes lately. I think a month ago, I bought a pair of shoes too from Naturalizer.

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Oh well, those are my addiction, and purses as well. I miss shopping in the Philippines. I miss VNC! haha! I got 3 pairs of shoes in VNC when I went home last Dec, coz it's so cheap when you convert it in dollars. Here, a pair of shoes would cost me $60-$75. In PI, a pair is just $30. Not bad at all!

Hayyy, enough for shopping na. Next month uli, lol. Haha! I gotta save for my trip to Cali! My best friends Tintin and Chippy are visiting in California from Manila, so I can't wait to meet them. They won't be able to travel east coast siguro, so I opt to just go there myself in California. I can't wait!!! We must go to Vegas and it would be fun!

Arighty, these are all for now. =) Byers!