Maybe..

What if God has already shared my destiny.. my one true love with me, but He has already taken him away earlier from me? Maybe my destiny was already my college sweetheart. Maybe I don't have to wait. Maybe there's no one waiting for me at all here in this world.. Maybe he's waiting for me on the other side.

Rat love

I had a vivid dream. A rat was thrown over me from the window, it went thru my clothes, finding its way down thru my thighs. He seemed not biting me at all. Caught him with my two bare hands, but he was able to let go. Now out of my clothes, still running around. He seems like harmless, wanted to be loved. But he was just plain annoying. A rat in nature by itself.

Guess life teaches us the same way. A person you love might feel being chased that there's no room left for her/him to love you at all anymore. No more challenge to let you feel in her/his own way that you are wanted. You will be just annoying as the rat, though all you wanna do is to just love him. How sad. Poor rat.

I wanna write again...

I miss writing... I miss putting my thoughts into writing...

Of Anxiety and Excitement

It is time for another journey of my life. Both in and out of my comfort zone. The former because I'm with my family now and the latter since I'm away from the close friends I've gained from the Sunshine State. Soon though I would discover new place where I feel I belong to, and also know people whom I would be comfortable with. Surely it would take time to be able to settle down wherever I would practice my profession again. But rest assured I will always try to be myself and do my best to learn from every experience I would encounter.

Moreover, I was able to survive Miami as a newbie three years ago. I was a starter who had no experience at all post graduation. Looking down memory lane, I drove down the freeway for the first time on that same day that my orientation started. From Coral Springs to Miami. No one would be able to get a picture of my dread while driving for an hour to my workplace. Thanks so much for Mr. GPS. Another blooper was that my ignorance and culture rawness caused me to try sticking the needle of the supposed-to-be needleless syringe in one of the heplock of my patient. Oh, the pressure really lingered. But I was able to stand tall and show the world that I am one smart kid who can withstand the challenge that my profession and life per se was imposing. I strived to learn the twists, the routine, until I became better. I am humbly proud of what I've become and I am grateful for those people who believed, and are still trusting in me, while I'm crawling myself onto success. Considering all these, I expect to feel less stress and pressure, and more confidence at this time that I would seek another employment. I was able to battle out my fears and be a caring and professional nurse that I needed to be on my first job, so why let this forthcoming situation make me queasy. But phew, still, I wouldn't deny the anxiety and the excitement I'm feeling right now, of meeting new faces and being in a whole new zone.

All the best for me... It's not going to be easy to find new set of friends and deal with unfamiliar colleagues. But I'll make it through. To the friends I've left in Miami, I'm missing you already. You won't be replaced. We just have to understand that in this life, we have to keep going or else we'll be left behind. And for myself to be more convincing, the interesting thing is I'm going to find a new job and I need it badly, or else I will not be able to swipe anymore for my shopping and out of town trips, haha! I can't wait to fly to South beach again. Oh and New York as well.

I love you guys and visit me here in Houston! :) You're always welcome here..