Medical matters

Wow! I had a great weekend! I was in love... again!!! hahaha! with Grey's anatomy. Naku po, I can't stop myself from watching it, that even if it's late at night already, I would go to Blockbuster just to rent. Yep, Blockbuster has all the DVDs of Seasons 1 and 2. Good thing, my mom has subscribed into a promo ever since, where we can borrow 2 DVDs at a time, unlimited. So my weekend indeed was busy, with me seating on the couch, laughing, giggling, shedding a tear or two with my new love! haha. And of course with my family, helping my parents run some errands. But I wasn't done with the Season 2 yet. I think there are four more DVDs to watch. May be tomorrow or on the weekends again.. I bothered to postpone watching the Grey's since today is the release of the new DVDs. That's why I picked American Dreamz and The break-up instead a while ago. I haven't watched those in the movies, so I better catch them up.

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I would really want to go to med school. I mean it's my dream since I was small, being influenced greatly by my dad. Even when I was in college as a nursing student, I looked up to those med students and even wished that someday I would be wearing a white uniform too with a nameplate that has an M.D. embossed on it. But for some reasons and unexpected circumstances, the plans changed, shattered and I haven't minded it at all.

Lately, I've been thinking if it would still be practical for me to take up Medicine. I want to, but look at this. According to the timeline I've set, if I would really pursue, that's gonna happen in year 2009 (because I have to finish my 2-year contract in the hospital as an RN). I would rather get my green card first before anything else, for security reasons & for my future too if worse comes to worst. The thing is, it worries me that I'm 25 years old already at that time! It's 4 years in Med, plus there's a year internship, plus 2 years Residency. Geez, I'm too old when I'm done - 32 years old. Wahhhh! Then add to that if I'd specialize still. Of course, I would! So come to think of it, I'm this doctor who's just about to start her life by age 32 or 34! It's not right, is it?

Well yeah, we can say that it isn't that bad if I finish it on my 30's. But what I'm also considering is may be I will miss a lot. Talking about risking those 7++ years. Being in med school is not a joke. I mean I would subject myself into "devouring volumes and volumes of books voraciously" as quoted by my classmate Ed, and also engage into sleepless nights. TOXICITY would set in again.

Looking at the other side of the coin though, I can travel, go to parties, be with friends, families and loved ones, be stable as a nurse, buy my own house, focus on establishing my own family, etc... Oh yeah, that's another thing, baka hindi na ako makakapag-asawa kung puro aral na lang, diba? Ayoko naman maging single forever. Tsaka gusto ko pang magka-anak noh, nang walang complications or anything ( kase medyo high risk na rin kung mga 35 years old ka na magka-baby) hehehe. May expiration kase ang egg cells ng mga babae. hahaha!

Another thing, too, will be the cost of going to med school. If I would take it here in US, I have to loan and I fear that I'll be in debt after graduation. Going back to the Philippines, though, will be an intelligent and practical option, but then I would be too old, since first year med students there are like 19 (Intarmed) or 21 years old, as compared to me who will be like 25. But if I'll be granted a chance to enter UP Med, oh my... I would not mind or even thought for a second! hahaha! Well not a chance siguro, kase babae ako so dapat 1.75 and above (dapat cum laude) ang GWA ko tsaka the competition is just too much. Ewan, let's just see. Besides, there's no harm in trying and I know that my grade is not too far from the boundaries.

Hayyy.. It's hard to make a decision, really, especially if your life would be greatly affected by it. There's a lot of consequences and we have to weigh the pros and cons first. As for me, for now, I still don't know what to do. I just pray that God will be the one to let me know what's best for me, that he'll make me decide smartly. Basta, I'll just try to take NMAT and MCAT a year or two from now, and try applying to the schools, kung kaya ng powers ko. Then may be I'll get a sign. And since 2009 will be like 3 long years from now, I know plans could still change. A lot of things will happen. People change. People can influence me. I may like my work already that I don't want to leave my comfort zone anymore. We'll see. At least that time, I know that I am more mature than what I am now.