Maybe..

What if God has already shared my destiny.. my one true love with me, but He has already taken him away earlier from me? Maybe my destiny was already my college sweetheart. Maybe I don't have to wait. Maybe there's no one waiting for me at all here in this world.. Maybe he's waiting for me on the other side.

Rat love

I had a vivid dream. A rat was thrown over me from the window, it went thru my clothes, finding its way down thru my thighs. He seemed not biting me at all. Caught him with my two bare hands, but he was able to let go. Now out of my clothes, still running around. He seems like harmless, wanted to be loved. But he was just plain annoying. A rat in nature by itself.

Guess life teaches us the same way. A person you love might feel being chased that there's no room left for her/him to love you at all anymore. No more challenge to let you feel in her/his own way that you are wanted. You will be just annoying as the rat, though all you wanna do is to just love him. How sad. Poor rat.

I wanna write again...

I miss writing... I miss putting my thoughts into writing...

Of Anxiety and Excitement

It is time for another journey of my life. Both in and out of my comfort zone. The former because I'm with my family now and the latter since I'm away from the close friends I've gained from the Sunshine State. Soon though I would discover new place where I feel I belong to, and also know people whom I would be comfortable with. Surely it would take time to be able to settle down wherever I would practice my profession again. But rest assured I will always try to be myself and do my best to learn from every experience I would encounter.

Moreover, I was able to survive Miami as a newbie three years ago. I was a starter who had no experience at all post graduation. Looking down memory lane, I drove down the freeway for the first time on that same day that my orientation started. From Coral Springs to Miami. No one would be able to get a picture of my dread while driving for an hour to my workplace. Thanks so much for Mr. GPS. Another blooper was that my ignorance and culture rawness caused me to try sticking the needle of the supposed-to-be needleless syringe in one of the heplock of my patient. Oh, the pressure really lingered. But I was able to stand tall and show the world that I am one smart kid who can withstand the challenge that my profession and life per se was imposing. I strived to learn the twists, the routine, until I became better. I am humbly proud of what I've become and I am grateful for those people who believed, and are still trusting in me, while I'm crawling myself onto success. Considering all these, I expect to feel less stress and pressure, and more confidence at this time that I would seek another employment. I was able to battle out my fears and be a caring and professional nurse that I needed to be on my first job, so why let this forthcoming situation make me queasy. But phew, still, I wouldn't deny the anxiety and the excitement I'm feeling right now, of meeting new faces and being in a whole new zone.

All the best for me... It's not going to be easy to find new set of friends and deal with unfamiliar colleagues. But I'll make it through. To the friends I've left in Miami, I'm missing you already. You won't be replaced. We just have to understand that in this life, we have to keep going or else we'll be left behind. And for myself to be more convincing, the interesting thing is I'm going to find a new job and I need it badly, or else I will not be able to swipe anymore for my shopping and out of town trips, haha! I can't wait to fly to South beach again. Oh and New York as well.

I love you guys and visit me here in Houston! :) You're always welcome here.. 

Bittersweet

"As I gaze upon the sea! All the old romantic legends, all my dreams, come back to me.” -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Indulge!

In life, in order to survive, you need to give yourself a chance to hang out with people that you do not know yet very well. It's not bad. Actually, you will just find yourself enjoying their company, and you won't realize you're planning for another get together the next weekend.

On the Cinco de Mayo of this year, I had a spontaneous night out with my colleagues. It was my first time to have really gone out with this group, and it turned out to be fun. We had a joy ride along Miami Beach, and our hunger led us to the famous Rice, House of Kabob. Damn, if I had only known that this small restaurant exists, probably I will be a frequent customer there. haha! I learned to love Persian food when I got to have a taste of Mr. Kabab in Quezon Ave in Manila. So here's what I ordered, and I'd like to go back there soon!

The movies was our next stop. We watched Iron Man and it was a nice movie too. At least I was awake the whole time, considering that I just got 3-4 hours of sleep from work. Gala talaga eh noh. After the movies, we still hung out at one of our friend's pad.

The next day, it was Dale's birthday. Dale's the husband of my friend and colleague Ate Kay. He celebrated it at Benihana. I love it when I try new restos. It's an opportunity to explore what's good around. Benihana is a Japanese resto, where all your main orders are being cooked in front of you by a chef. It's not a shabu shabu type really because we are not the ones cooking the food.





So, it's a new experience again, and of course the food is awesome! I got Filet Mignon! And the shakes too, I love it! I had a Mango Colada, and Mich had a Power cream which was like a Strawberry Shake, and was definitely yummier than mine.

Tomorrow... another time to indulge! Because tomorrow is Abbie's 1st birthday!!! We'll have a children's party at a park. I'm looking forward to it after work.

my commandment

"Thou shall not disrupt the serenity I'm feeling right now."

Serenity... yes, that's what I'm feeling at the moment. Well, since yesterday, it has dawned on me that I just feel I'm totally refreshed. I don't know exactly the reason behind it. Probably the post easter mania? Most likely. The Easter season provided me the chance to reflect thoroughly about my past and my present, the life that I have lived and how I have traversed thru it, and of course up to this time -- how I constantly deal with everyday's tribulation.

Remembering my dad and Karlo was the highlight of my easter reflection, of course besides meditating on Christ's suffering. And I prayed, I talked to them as if they are just beside me. It made me miss them so much, and it reached the point that I found myself looking back, literally and figuratively. I tried to glance over my photographs with Karlo, and sad to say it was 4 years ago. But those memory were all good. I'm proud that we never really fought and we've always had our ways to compromise, to settle issues, and that had made our relationship stronger, which a lot of people envied.

Anyhow, I'm surprised that while I was driving yesterday to Miami to go to a seminar for my friend's daughter's Baptism (They require Godparents here to attend such seminar), I feel the serenity that I have been longing to feel for quite some time. Amidst the traffic, never did I enjoy driving that much until yesterday. I found myself humming to the songs the radio station was playing. I really had a good time with myself. I kept looking back for some incidences of my life, but even if I have thought of some instances which are not that good, they didn't bother me. I guess I have looked at the positive sides of those and accepted to myself that life goes on, and indeed without those trials, I would never ever be where I'm now. And that they had helped me to become stronger. And again, I'm proud of it. I was never lost at all, and I thank God for that. I touched the rosary then that was hanging on my rearview mirror, and told myself that "this is the day that I feel I'm reborne, and no one will disrupt the serenity I'm feeling."

My heart is still healing right now, quietly and right. and I don't want anyone to cross over the process of healing I'm undertaking at this time. I try to focus and not go astray. It's quite surprising that I have no temptations to go out that much. It might sound boring and laid back, but yes, I try to be a homebody now. With this peaceful life I'm living, I'm doing my study for the upcoming exams. Being in the midst of organizing myself to focus more on my review, it's hard, especially having not studied for like 2 years already, plus I have work. But I'm determined to achieve my dreams and I believe in myself that I can do it. No one can stop me. This is it I guess. I found serenity and I'm hoping I'll stay in this homeostasis as I proceed.

in becoming an ICU nurse

Phew! I'm off today! This week was pretty tiring. I had ICU classes from Monday to Wednesday, from 8am to 3:30pm, and then next week again, same days and time. I'm really not a morning person. It's just that I'm too lazy to get up early, seems like my body clock is made to be functioning well at nights. Oh well, that happened since I started working nights. I remember that I hated nights before during college days, hehe. Anyways, it was not really information overload that got me to feel tired for the past few days. It's the lack of sleep actually. Last Monday night, we went to hard rock at bayside with my colleagues, just for dinner and catching up, so we stayed up a lil late over there, then i needed to wake up early. Plus the sometimes-boring lectures that we have. But I do appreciate some of the topics that we had discussed, especially the Hemodynamics and the neuro part specifically the ICP monitoring and the discussion about ventriculostomy. I should read about that later on, coz we're goin to have an exam on wednesday. I need to understand further the concept about the Intraaortic balloon pump as well as the Swan-Ganz catheter, their monitoring and stuff. It's a big role for an ICU nurse to understand this hemodynamics, and I guess once you know how to deal with it, then surely you can testify to yourself that you are really an ICU nurse, hehehe! Dr Gottlieb, one of our consultants in Pulmo, also discussed concepts re Respiratory distress. One thing he emphasized was the Oxygen Sat of the patient is not always reliable. A person could sat 100% yet he's not doing good anymore. But then again, the most exciting part was the NEURO, discussed by Ms Amy Eisenberg. She's an ARNP and a CNRN as well, and mind you she's a Filipino. Winner pa rin ang mga Pinoy! hehehe.

Those lectures about the drips and the pacers are the most boring part! hahaha! It got me closing my eyes already, and I was in front. Oh one more thing, the funniest part is that I think I am the youngest (in terms of age) among the nurses there in the class, but I'm the senior in terms of being an RN. The rest of them are new, most of them are fresh out of school. It's just that all of us are new in the ICU environment. So yeah, some topics are quite redundant for me already, such as the protocols and the paperworks to be done. Nevertheless, it's an opportunity for me to learn something new and interesting, to get to know new faces too, and of course it's an added credit to my CEUs.

Thought of the day...

"Who Should Be Blamed When A Leaf Falls From A Tree? Is It The Wind That Blew It Away? The Tree That Let It Go? Or The Leaf Who Grew Tired Of Holding On?"

Think about it. I found this on my friend's shout out in friendster... And it caught me right away...

randomly written

Since I transferred to ICU, I got plenty of chance to have consecutive day offs, and it feels great! Yeah, I always work 3 days straight now, and then have longer offs, like 3-4 days off. One time I even got a 6-day off straight. Isn't it nice? If Philippines is only a drive away or even a 6-hour plane travel, I would not hesitate going home. I was thinking I can go out of state too, but I have no company. My friend Michelle is studying for her NCLEX. I wish her all the best for the exam. I know she'll do great.

Anyways, this is my fourth day off. I've been lazy for a while, just hanging on here at home, watch tv, eat, surf the net. Hmm, my colleague called me up this morning if I could do overtime in 8 Main. I'd love to but it's the 18th birthday of my lovely sister today, and we'll have a family dinner later. I don't wanna miss it, coz I already missed her sweet 16th before.

So yeah, my sis is already 18. How time flies so fast. I'm so proud of her. She's smart and beautiful. We're not that close but she knows I'm always here for her. She's a senior now, and by fall season, she's gonna go to college. She passed all the schools that she wanted. No doubt coz she ranks 9th among all the senior students. Probably there are 600-700 of them. (Mana talaga sa ate! nyaha!) So she's trying to figure out now where she'll be. She's trying to choose between University of Florida and University of Austin in Texas, and she'll be taking up Pharmacy. It's amazing that their pharmacy course here is automatically PhD, and that's for 6 years. She can do it, I'm certain with that.

She came home a while ago from school and I gave her my gift. She was surprised and I was glad that she liked what I gave. I got her a Juicy Couture perfume set from Nordstrom.



I know she liked opening gifts. I used to give her money but sometimes I would rather receive a present. It's the feeling of unwrapping gifts that's more exciting. My little sister (10-year old) was funny too. She made a card for her ate and inside the envelope she put a dollar. Lol. We kept on laughing.

As for me, I got myself a makeover the other day. haha! Trip trip lang. I got my hair permed.



I look different but I like it. More sophisticated. But I was having a hard time fixing my hair. I thought it would be easier, but I found it tiresome, like you have to apply a mousse, which I haven't done in my entire life, lol. Then you must use a dryer with a diffuser. A change for me too coz I need to buy shampoo and conditioner that's good for a curled hair. Wahhh! Kinda expensive pala. But it's all good. Sometimes a dare for a change is a challenge and exciting. Sometime again, I'll go back to my straight hair, when this would grow out.

Hmm... my mom and I also went shopping this morning. She came from work, then she called me up that we'll meet at the mall. Yeah I remember today was the start of the sale in Macy's for their make ups and shoes. For the shoes, you'll buy one and get one for a dollar. So I fixed myself and drove over there. My mom bought her make ups and she got 2 pairs of shoes, because of that promo. But as for me, I didn't like the shoes that were on the sale, but I got a pair of shoes from nine west, a 4-in patent shoes. It was less 10% off the original price



Gahh, I've been a sucker for shoes lately. I think a month ago, I bought a pair of shoes too from Naturalizer.



Oh well, those are my addiction, and purses as well. I miss shopping in the Philippines. I miss VNC! haha! I got 3 pairs of shoes in VNC when I went home last Dec, coz it's so cheap when you convert it in dollars. Here, a pair of shoes would cost me $60-$75. In PI, a pair is just $30. Not bad at all!

Hayyy, enough for shopping na. Next month uli, lol. Haha! I gotta save for my trip to Cali! My best friends Tintin and Chippy are visiting in California from Manila, so I can't wait to meet them. They won't be able to travel east coast siguro, so I opt to just go there myself in California. I can't wait!!! We must go to Vegas and it would be fun!

Arighty, these are all for now. =) Byers!

8's lucky!

It's 2008 already, and I missed blogging! Guess life had been busier that there was no room for me to write the events of my life. Whatever it is that I had not shared in here will remain a memory to me, until probably I'll have Alzheimer's someday.. haha! I hope not!

To be honest, this year seems a pretty good year, compared to 2007. I don't wanna discuss what 2007 has brought me because it's like a nightmare. Let's focus with the here and now. At this time, I guess I'm in the stage of trying to move on smoothly and starting right with whatever it is that I'm working on. I'm taking my time, no rush. Everyday has been a new learning day for me, and I'm enjoying every bit of it.

Transferring to an ICU, spefically Medical ICU, is a big jump for me career-wise. I mean I did this for I have bigger plans for my future. Facing it, I know, will be a challenge. Yeah because I have established my comfort zone already in 8 Main, the unit where I have formerly worked. 8 Main has been my family for more than a year, and leaving it has not been easy. But I know life is all about changes, and I am more glad to take changes for I know it will be for my best.

Presently, I'm enjoying my stay in ICU. For sure, it challenged my brain, my energy, my emotions, everything.  Patient's turnovers are minimal because they are chronic and it serves best for me, because I can study more their cases. Don't get me wrong, like I'm toxic or something, but it came to me at times that I'd like to make a case study on my patients. hahaha! Yeah, probably that's what my alma mater has instilled in me, to always consider events learning experiences; and by trying to look deeply onto it, you will learn something more. So yeah, I met new faces, colleagues with whom I'm still on the process of getting to know. Nevertheless, I yearn for my friends in 8 Main thus still keeping in touch with them, and actually I'm trying to do overtimes there.

Lovelife, zero, but I'm having fun! No worries and no tears. hehehe. My time is my own. I hope it will be at least a year before I'll engage myself into another relationship. Well we'll never know, but I'd just like for me to take it slow and get to know people... Whoever I'll meet, then so be it.

So cheers to a wonderful 2008!!! I always like '8' by the way! It's just kinda lucky! =)

i'm on the right track

It's been a while again. I guess I was really caught up with work... Hmm, been pretty busy. Got two jobs, and I'm enjoying learning new things. I'm in the stage now where I get to learn more about my capabilities, my strengths and weaknesses. (Well yeah, I know that everyday is a battlefield.) But I'm speaking of a different level here. I get to test my temper, my patience. I'm trying to hold on to some things. I hope they're worth it. You won't understand, I know, but my world is quite complicated now. Lotsa things happening... sometimes I'm up, other times I'm down. I try to think positive though. There are things that would always help us and make us feel better, and we just have to switch our thoughts over them. Even though it's hard and we cannot do it with just one snap, we still can do it if we choose to.

Speaking of positive... I got my green card already!!! Hell yeah! Haha! That means I can go home to my home country... yippee!!! I'm planning to go home next year, 2008.. I hope I'll pursue with the plan, because my mom is planning to have the vacation in Vancouver instead. We'll see, but the most important thing is I'm already a permanent resident here in US, and I can study further! Yup, I see my future plans falling on the right track, and I can't thank God enough for it. After this telemetry experience, I should definitely have an ICU experience and pursue with the CRNA course. And the rest will follow. Probably and hopefully it will take me three to four years more to reach the endpoint of my goal. And after that, I should get married! hahaha! Part of this too, of course, is having to keep a healthy relationship with my significant other. I believe all these will be fulfilled with prayers, determination, persistence and confidence. So cheers to being able to achieve these goals! =)

mint chocolate

I was with my 9-year old sister in my parents' room this morning. She was holding her white board and marker, while I was ironing my uniforms for work. She asked me, "Ate, what should I draw?" Yeah, my sister loves art. Then I told her, "You can draw anything you want. Why, what is it that you want to draw at the moment?" She kept on thinking and finally said, "I don't know. Tell me what to draw." Then I asked her, "Is that your only problem?" And she nodded. I came to think that she is lucky that she is just a child, for now, and her only problem is what it is that she will draw. Sometimes I wish I could go back to be in her age again, where I can be carefree and have nothing big to worry about.

She kept on thinking, then she drew a guitar. Well she knows how to play guitar and piano, so probably that what has come to her mind. Then I asked her, "Do you want to be a grown up now? Just like Ate.. 22 years old?" She thought about it and replied, "Nah, I will be tired. I will have to drive and go to work, it's tiring. I don't even know how to drive. I'll get crashed." "Then I'll teach you how to drive," I said. "No, I'm too small," she answered. We just laughed.

Well I guess we just have to accept that we really are opted to grow up, and grow old. Speaking of survival of the fittest. And I can say I also had a good memory of my childhood. I was never deprived of play, love and warmth from my family. It's just that sometimes it would come into us to think that it would be so nice to be a child again. My sister is still enjoying the time of her life as a child.

She continually drew in her white board, while I was hanging my clothes in the closet. But this time she was making a creative abstract drawing of the mint chocolate we ate at Dippin' dots yesterday. She was smiling and asking me if I can buy her another serving of it the next time we go to the mall.

reason to smile =)

Dami nangyari lately.. bad and good... but life still chose to give me reason to smile...

Last week my co-workers and I went to have breakfast in Southbeach after work. Then Bryan got into a vehicular accident, having his car totally wrecked. Nakatulog kase.. sa kabusugan siguro. Gaaa, if you can see his car you cannot seem to think that the one driving it would come out alive. And I'm really thankful that he survived it. It's his second life. He just got a left wrist greenstick fracture. No scratches on his face, gwapo pa rin, hehe! When I heard the news, flashbacks of what happened to Karlo struck me. And I felt lucky that this time, I was able to talk to him when I called him, assuring me that he is okay, the CT scan done has all been normal. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ayoko na ulit mawalan...

Seventeenth birthday party din ni Barbie nung weekend dito sa bahay. It was fun because it's another family gathering. Dito din mga pinsan ko. My dad is also here now at home, may private nurse sya round the clock. But of course, we stay beside him as much as possible. Nakapag hard rock pa pala kami ni Sherrein nung Friday. Haha! After a year since I've been there. Ayun, masayan naman nung nag-clubbing kami...

Sa work naman, hayyyy, grabe, toxic-toxican ako for the past two nights. Dami ko pre-op patients. First time ko din magkaroon ng patient who has pre-op orders for Open heart surgery. Whew! Nawindang ako. Super dami ng kelangan gawin and the orders were made like 9PM and the patient was going for 5AM surgery. Kala ko complete na, yung urinalysis pala di ko nagawa. I hope hindi nagalit yung MD na kulang yun. haha! Bahala na sila, nakauwi naman na ako, wehehe, and I'll be off for a couple of days. But it was good to learn from mistakes. Tapos feeling ko talaga minalas ako kagabi, haha! Nagleak yung 2 IV site at kelangan ulit mag-insert. Tapos nandun pa yung anak ng patient na nagrereklamo and nagdedemand na tawagan yung doctor, wherein tinawagan ko naman, kaso sinigawan ako kase galit sya sa anak. haha! Onga naman, ang lumalabas kase ang anak ang nagiging patient ko. Pero with all those circumstances last night, I still was able to finish on time. Onga pala mag-isa lang din akong nagbreak kagabi kase na-late ako ng break, busy-busyhan kase.

After work naman, I slept for an hour sa apartment, took bath, then punta kina Bryan. Nagluto kami ng corned beef, PUREFOODS!!! hahaha! babaw noh, sensha na kase first time kong makatikim ng purefoods corned beef dito sa States, wala kase nagbebenta dito. Dala pa yun ng tita nya galing Pinas. Buti nakalusot.. Yummm! Tapos I mixed 2 eggs with it, just like what I was making during college days. Tapos movie marathon, 2 DVD's napanood namin. Nakatulog nga lang ako in between kase nga galing pa akong work. Tapos umuwi na rin late afternoon. Glad ok na rin sya. Naka-brace na lang yung left wrist nya.

Right now, I'm here beside Papa... spending time with him. Antok na nga ako, baka dito na lang din ako sleep sa couch tonight. At least la naman ako pasok tom. Sa weekend sana labas din with cousins while it's their spring break. Arighty, yun lang muna update ko for now.. Kahit papano eh natutuwa ako na masaya naman tayo despite the adversities we have each day. I thank you all for praying for my dad, for my friends who stand by me and my family, sa mga relationships and probs na naayos na. Happy happy na ang lahat so far.. Let's keep it up =)

slowly saved

I just don't understand how life goes on. One moment you're happy, that everything seemed perfect, then all of a sudden everything changed and you can be so down. It's sad to realize that fairy tales do take chances and you sure are lucky if one lands on your palm. I've never imagined for things to happen this way and that I tend to question if do i really deserve this? Am I treated like a crap? Was there love at all? Gaaa, I can't believe this had happened. Not now... Ooops not! I'm taking it back. I'm glad it happened as earlier as now. At least I've spared myself.

Oh well, that's the way it should be probably, but still I hope that sometime soon, life's gonna treat me well. I can still handle it, but sometimes it's just too much.. too much that I myself, am trying to smile numbly just to make myself feel better, but deep inside you're not feeling alright, or I am.. Not!

Well just as I thought of it, I am the person who can easily move on. I guess it's just a matter of getting used to it. But I should learn my lesson, yes I did... or I didn't? Sigh... I also have to make use of my smart ass, not just that brainless heart. And I just hate myself for not knowing how to get mad at all... not at all. I just complained to myself but I don't know how to express to the secondary person. I'm just appease with the situation that people see me that I am fine, fine like I am not hurting inside. I really know how to keep things myself.

But I'm better now I'm telling you. Better than good is good right? I just have to move on with my life and fulfill those dreams I want. Yes it's not that bad. I still have my faith that God won't give me troubles that I cannot surpass. I wonder if how life would be if it has no scratches at all, wouldn't it be boring? At least for now, it's challenging. Seeing the brighter side huh? Yeah, I know I can overcome all of these.

Anyways, I'm off to my preceptorship in my work last month, pretty much enjoying the job. Everyday is a new day and a learning experience for me. I am closer to my co-workers and friends. They are a family to me.

I also really miss my friends in the Philippines though. Especially the girls. I wish they're here...

Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Christmas season is done. It's already 2007! Whew! I've never thought about my new year's resolution yet, haha. Does everyone really have one? I mean for me I just have to get along with the flow. But I understand that the resolution seems like an outline or an idea, much more like a goal, for us to lead this new year into a fruitful one. As for me, I desire to be more hardworking and dedicated in my job, to gain more friends and to love those who are around me, that I will learn how to run my own career, save my money and be practical actually with regards to my expenditures. yeah right huh? lol. Well let's see.

I spent my new year by the way in Chicago, with my ever-so gentleman friends Max and Alex. I never thought I'd be going there for the winter. But then I got 3 days off straight last Dec 30, 31 and Jan 1, so when Max told me to come, why not? My family is not here so better spend it with friends, and it was indeed fun! Actually it's pretty tight, coz I have work Dec 29 7PM to 7AM of Dec. 30. So I went straight ahead to the airport off from work. I wasn't even able to sleep on the plane because there were a lot of children, a lot of babies, traveling that were near my seat; they're loud! I arrived Chicago at 3PM. But even though I just spent 3 days there, the days and night seemed long. It's good to be away from work for a while and spent time with your close friends. New year was fun. We did eat and eat, lol. Then before new year's eve, we watched the Pursuit of Happiness as well as the Blood Diamond, marathon! Sweet! And I'm so glad that I gotta treat my friends with my salary. They were the first people whom I treated since I received my paycheck, and it felt good to share with them what you've earned. I went home Jan 2 AM because I have work at 7PM. So again, I went directly from the airport to my hospital. So imagine I was so sleepy during the shift, lol. I just got to sleep on the plane for 2 hours that day and that's it, ready to work again. And thanks really to Bryan who gave me a ride to and from the airport. Chicago's weather was nice. It's not snowing though. But it's amazing to feel the cold once in a while. Lovin' it for sure.

With regards to work, I'm gonna start working alone (without preceptor) on February. Good luck to me! I wish I can manage it. Well I have no choice. But so far, I'm doing good. I am able to learn a lot. Taking care of cardio patients is really interesting. There are so much to learn with the heart. My patients mostly are those with complaints of Chest pain, COPD, CHF, so you get to understand more of what's going on with the heart, medically speaking, lol (because when love life kicks in, it's a different story, hahaha). And in my unit, the cases vary. I have some Psych patients, ortho patients, those with DM, renal failure, decubitus ulcers, GI concerns... All cases, because it's the only VIP floor. So whatever cases they may have, if they want a VIP room, as long as it doesn't require ICU care, they go to our unit.

Anyways, I already got use with the routine, and it's good that I'm doing the 7PM-7AM shifts now permanently. At least I can give a total care for my patients. Proud to say too that I already knew how to insert an IV!!! YEY! hehe. Getting used to operating the machines too, and I'm more confident now in handling my patients. I just got to practice myself more with regards to calling the doctors to clarify some orders or to report significant concerns. I also got to appreciate how important it is to look at the lab results of my patients and relate them to their diagnosis as well as the medications they're receiving. Nursing is so interesting!

And with regards to my family there in my workplace, I have nothing to ask for. They're so supportive and it's fun working. When 12 AM strikes, we eat together, just like a family, and we have a lot of food. Seriously. There are times that we seem to have a party always. I hope I will maintain my weight with all the food that we're eating, lol. Since 90% in my unit are Filipinos, our food are Filipino foods too. We have hopia, siopao and other Fil viands during our midnight dinner. Then sometimes, after our shift, my friends/colleagues (those who are in my age), we eat breakfast in South beach. Yep, in Ocean drive. It's so relaxing actually. We drive there over the beach to destress and just talk and laugh, feel the breeze, watch those people who are going to surf. I'm enjoying it and I cannot be thankful enough to have a second family whom I am comfortable working with. Because yeah, if you're not happy with your work, then surely you wouldn't succeed. My colleagues too are always planning some hang outs and parties, so looking forward to those.

Finally, my family (the biological ones, hehe), they're going to arrive here on the 9th! Can't wait!!! I miss them so much. Especially their cooking, lol. I miss my youngest sister so much...

Arighty, I'm glad I got this precious night to update my blog. I'm off today and tomorrow that's why. Take care and I wish all of you a prosperous new year! :)

Happy holidays

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone!!! I know I haven't updated this blog for so long, and sorry po.. I've been so busy with work and the rush of the holidays. I hope I can get in touch with this blog real pretty soon. Oh one more reason I can't update that much is that I don't have an internet connection yet in the place where I'm staying at. Hopefully after the holidays, the Comcast cable would follow it up.

Anyways guys, Happy Holidays!!! and hope you have a blessed one. Cheers!!! Advanced Happy New Year na rin! ENJOY! DRINK (but don't drive) AND HAVE LOTSA FUN!!! MMMWAH! Loveyah!

Time is precious

Christmas Day is about 16 days to go, and my family is flying back to Philippines two weeks from now. Well my dad is flying ahead on Tuesday. I'll surely miss them. That's why I wanna spend quality time with them as of now. I wonder what I'm gonna do on the holidays. I wish I'll be busy with work, so that I cannot think of them that much, or else I would burst into tears on Christmas eve. Nah, just kidding. If ever I don't have a duty that day, I'll spend Christmas with my 2 cousins and together we'll make it merry. hehe.

I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet, coz I don't have my salary yet. It'll be next week, so I have to rush my shopping by then coz I wanna send gifts to my best friends in PI and my mom has to bring them with her.

Anyways, talking about my week, it was pretty good. I had a 12-hour duty last Wednesday and it was my first time to have that sched (7AM-7PM). It was tiring coz I'm not used to it yet. I was able to get out of my unit at around 8PM already. But the bulk of this week comprised of my classes. Monday I had my first day of preceptorship class, and we discussed wound care, safety, stuffs like that. Every Monday (except on the holidays) until the 2nd wk of January are my classes. Then just this Thu and Fri we had EKG class, and good thing it had a credit of 12 hours of Continuing Education. We need 25 hours a year. And I'm proud to say I got 100% on my EKG exam!!! YEYYYY!!! haha! Made my day great of course.

As for now, I'm spending my time with my family. I was supposed to have a duty yesterday night (11PM to 7AM), which was not on my sched. It was actually an option, whether I wanna take it or not, coz this week I just had 32 hours, so I lack 4 hours. But then I asked my manager if I really have to make it 36 hours. She said it's my choice but I would just be paid for 32 hours. Then I thought, it's fine. Especially now that my family is about to leave and my dad's condition isn't that good, my priority is to go home and spend time with them. Money cannot buy my time with my family. I said to myself that I can do overtime later on, but not now. We don't know how things will turn out to be in a snap. And I don't wanna have regrets later on that I didn't spend time with my dad. Work is just there but my time with my dad & family is a different story. I'm really saddened with the fact that I cannot spend Christmas with him. We don't know if this will be his last Christmas, so I'm making the most out of my weekend. Tomorrow we'll have a gathering here at home to celebrate in advanced his birthday and may be it will be a sort-of advanced Christmas party for the clan, before everyone leaves for PI.

But work matters, I'm having fun so far. I mean I'm enjoying the learning process. Even though I struggle I understand, because if I want to be successful, I really have to start from scratch, experience how to slowly climb the staircase until I reach the top and stand tall in the pedestal.

Hello world of nursing!

I was sooo toxic this last week! Wahhhh! haha. Didn't get enough sleeping hours, my whole body is quite aching now. But it was all good. I encountered a lot of new faces and got to know friendly people, of different races. I learned stuffs that are vital to my new living.

It was Nov. 27, Mon, when I started my orientation, (We had it in Miami Heart Institute for the first three days) and my feeling that day? - Well it was like my first day in a new school. But there's this Cuban lady Alicia, whom I met weeks before, during my Medical Exam, so it was her who was my first friend and no doubt that we became companions and seatmates. She's nice and her aura just equates mine, so we clicked in an instant. The orientation by the way related the hospital, clinical, and nursing policies and expectations, for that week. They were a whole-day classes and overwhelming as they were, we began feeling quite nervous of the upcoming duties. Unfamiliar equipments, the hi-tech ones, were introduced. Last Thursday we had our class in Mount Sinai Medical Center itself and we had the chance to tour around and go to our respective units to talk with our nurse manager.

Hence I spoke with my co-Filipina nurse manager. She was nice, smart and obviously responsibly strict. I was told to go back the next day and boy I didn't expect that, lol. I thought after a 4-day class, I can go back home in Coral Springs. I was homesick already by the way. So yeah, she let me know that I'm going to begin shadowing with a buddy nurse from 7AM-3PM the next day. It was pretty fast huh! But still I drove back home that day in Springs, arrived late 6:30pm, then did my laundry, ironed my uniform, ate good food ~ sinigang na isda, kakamiss pala! (I haven't eaten real home food since Sunday!) and slept for just 5 hours and a half. At 4AM I woke up and took a shower. Then by 5AM, I was off to go drive to Miami. Great coz there was no traffic in I-95, arrived there in Mount Sinai by 6:15. Never late on my first day!

As I was on my way to my unit, I was relaxed but I was curious on how my day would end, hoping that it would end successfully. I wondered who's gonna be the nurses there. But gahhh, when I arrived in 8 Main (my unit), there's a bunch of Filipinos!!! I never felt like home. They welcomed me to the point that I can't help but to smile and be grateful that I was assigned in a unit that I think I won't be left out. Most of them (the pinoys) were night shifts too and my permanent shift is 7PM to 7AM, so I was relieved. (I was assigned in morning shifts just for the first few weeks.) Moreso, I thought I would be the youngest, but I was wrong. haha! There's this Filipina named Michelle, she's so nice and she's a graduate of Silliman University, and she's 21. Yes! At last, I found someone who's in my age and she told me that there's a few more nurses in the night shift who belong to our age line. Isn't it amazing? It wasn't long enough from the time that we introduced ourselves that she told me that we'll go out sometime, have breakfast or what. My day started right and it felt great!

On that day, I shadowed a nurse indeed. My preceptor was Denize and she's a very good nurse. She really has a good therapeutic communication skills and I was impressed! She handled me well and I've learned a lot of things, considering it was my first day. We had an admission and a discharge, some patients were for procedures and surgery, so my first day was worth-it! I got the chance to observe how they do those processes there. I also got the chance to know how they fax med orders to the pharmacy, how they order blood components from the blood bank and a lot more. We handled 5 patients together, and they were mostly cardio patients in that Med-Surg telemetry ward. It was tough. Well it's because our patients were tough. Mind you, we're handling VIP patients in the unit and they tend to be very demanding, especially the family members. You cannot get rid of them and you must be careful. One of our patients yesterday was a CIA and the other one was an editor in a big Miami newspaper company. Tsk tsk.. First day huh!

As I was pacing thru my work on that day, I began to appreciate more and adjust more with my job as an RN. I feared before that I will be having a hard time starting since the last time I had my clinical duties was March 2005. But nah, yesterday it was smooth and I was doing well. I guess I'll be thankful to my mentors and my Alma Mater. Thank you UP Manila College of Nursing.. Hehe.. But yes, really. I'm so sincerely grateful.

The fact also that my fourth year college clinicals in PGH (2 month clinicals) was spent in VIP ward has been very helpful. And yesterday it didn't create that much difference. Nursing, I realized, is nursing, as long as you have a good foundation. The complete care for your patients is still a total care no matter where you go. Once you have the skills, it wouldn't be that hard. The only difference and the thing that I think I will be adjusting with more this time is their manner of documentation. They have an entirely different way of charting here. They are more concered of medical malpractice and they are more strict with the paperworks. Mount Sinai's way of charting is still in writing but it's more of a checklist type. More organized than I encountered in the Philippines and more comprehensive. We utilize computers for access to labs, med reconciliation, stuffs like that. Also with regards to the equipments, they are more hi-teched. It's my first time to get a hold of a PCA (patient controlled analgesia), haha! As a matter of fact too, when we were being toured in the Pharmacy, the Robot which cost somewhere like $1.5 million, was the one dispensing the medications 24/7. That would certainly prevent significant percentage of medical errors. It was certainly amazing!

I was also amazed with our badge (ID). It's multipurpose! We swipe it when we park our cars in the parking lot of course. We swipe it when we badge in and out. If we don't have money and we need to eat in the cafeteria, we can swipe it and whatever it costs, it will just be deducted from our paycheck. We also have a giftshop and if you purchase over $10, you can also use it like a debit card. You can buy movie tickets also with it from its booth. Ha, wonderful right? lol... But it might trick you and if you're extravagant, you will end up having nothing anymore in your paycheck, lol. Just kidding. Talking about paycheck, I'm excited to get my first one, on the 2nd week of Dec. It's bi-weekly, so when I would receive mine, it's going to be a 3-week salary. YEY!!! Gotta pay my debts to my mom. haha!

Whew! That's it. I know that there's a lot more to encounter as I traverse with my roads in the nursing world, and I'll try to share it with you too. So just stay tuned! =) I'm also happy and very grateful that I have reached this point in my life that I'm beginning with my own career and I'm hoping that it will become successful.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Such a hell week for me.. Been coming to and fro Miami. At least I'm getting used in driving the freeway. haha! Pwede na ako magstate hopping. lol. Well, five days from now, I'm gonna start with my work. I got my badge yesterday! I'm a certified employee of Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami Beach. Yikes na Yeyyy! hehe. Mixed feelings... But I hope everything will be fine. It should be or else.... nah, I wanna be positive about it. I know it will be fine.

Oh last night, guess what.. at 6:30 PM I was already asleep. Haha! I was sooo tired, and the previous nights I seemed to lack hours of sleep. The pressure... a lot of things to deal with regarding work and relocation, they're just pulling my legs off. At 3AM, I woke up, then wasn't able to go back to sleep so I just surfed the net until 6AM.. muni-muni.. Then I slept for another hour and got ready (by 7AM) to send my sis and bro to their schools and then met my mom in Walmart (she's from duty) in order to buy stuffs for my apartment. Hayyyy, it's so tiring! When we got home, it was already lunch time and my parents gave me lotsa errands to do... laundry, pick up sis, go to the post office and to the bank. Whew! I'm still doing the laundry now, hehe, waiting for it to be done...

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Anyhoo, tomorrow is Thanksgiving day! My second time experiencing Thanksgiving here. Last year was so much fun, so I wish tomorrow's gonna be more fun with the entire family, cousins, aunts & uncles. It'll be the last gathering, kase sa pinas na sila magchristmas =( But yeah, lotsa turkey again tom with yummy stuffing! Lovin' it! and I'm gonna make some dessert again for them. And since it's a holiday, there will be a big sale on the mall this weekend. I hope I can do some shopping for furnishing my flat.. Ughh, I feel I'm already in debt, and to think I haven't started my job yet. My mom's been paying for all of my expenses for now & I owe her a lot!


Last year's Thanksgiving day with cousins

And since it's Thanksgiving day.... I would like to thank everyone for keeping up with me. THANK YOU PO...

Thanks to the Lord for all the blessings He has given me and my whole family... and for guiding my friends. Thanks to Him for hearing my prayers and for making things happen for my best. And thanks to Him for helping me fight whatever struggles that I come to face in this eventful life of mine.

I would also like to show gratitude to my parents, my brother and my sisters for loving & supporting me. The times that we get to bond, to talk heart to heart and get to laugh about some thoughts are great moments that make me smile and treasure them all my life. Even though sometimes we are sooo tired of hearing complaints & we argue (esp my sis/bro and i), well it's part of the family relationship where we can grow up & learn from each other.

my family

To my cousins and relatives for the same support as well. For my cousins who make staying in Florida worthwhile and fun.. talking about the gimmick and other escapades we've been to.

Florida Espanol cousins

And of course my barkada and friends... Hayyy, I don't know what would happen to me if I have no friends. Life without friends, without you, would be such a bore. I know you have known this ever since but it's not tiring to say.. Thank you, that even if we're far from each other, we still got each other to rely on.


barkada since birth
UP Barkada

Close college friends - my sisses and bros

Moreover, being here in FL without my close friends nearby is kinda lonely. But I'm still lucky that I got my two kabarkadas Max and Alex in Chicago who are always there for me, who got the patience to listen to my rants... Thanks for the advices and for hurting my ass laughing with your corny jokes.. Thanks for all the fun times we have had! For showing me the beauty of Chicago.. For the support of course.. Tsaka I'm so grateful na damayan tayo sa kung anuman ang mga tinatahak natin.. Hindi rin po kase biro ang mabuhay dito sa States.. (Thanks to American Airlines & Northwest and to T-mobile & Cingular as well! hehehe..)


Max, Kat and Alex


To Hiyas and Colet for being there keeping in touch no matter what (parang hindi ako nalalayo sa pinas kapag kausap ko kayo), for the texts... and Hiyas, thanks for your e-mails which get longer and longer with all your stories... hehe. I miss you - the bond, girltalks, inuman!!! Sana punta na kayo kagad dito...


Kat, Colet and Yas

Basta to the rest of the barkada, my friends....you know who you are... Thanks for the friendship and love! MISS KO NA KAYO! Sana hindi aabutin ng two years bago ako makakauwi uli ng Pinas..

And to my fellow bloggers... Thanks thanks for reading... and sharing your sentiments with mine as well...

Sis Rho especially, salamat din... Ikaw ang isa sa mga paborito kong kaibigan sa blogworld! hehehe... Kase napakathoughtful mo eh.. tsaka magaan loob ko sayo.. (di ako tibo ah! hehehe) Basta we'll see each other someday... After all, NC is not that far naman from FL diba?

Okidoki then, HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. Take care all of you... MWAH!