My Mere Shadow

Maybe..

2009-09-10T02:51:00.004-04:00

What if God has already shared my destiny.. my one true love with me, but He has already taken him away earlier from me? Maybe my destiny was already my college sweetheart. Maybe I don't have to wait. Maybe there's no one waiting for me at all here in this world.. Maybe he's waiting for me on the other side.

Rat love

2009-08-26T17:11:00.006-04:00

I had a vivid dream. A rat was thrown over me from the window, it went thru my clothes, finding its way down thru my thighs. He seemed not biting me at all. Caught him with my two bare hands, but he was able to let go. Now out of my clothes, still running around. He seems like harmless, wanted to be loved. But he was just plain annoying. A rat in nature by itself.

Guess life teaches us the same way. A person you love might feel being chased that there's no room left for her/him to love you at all anymore. No more challenge to let you feel in her/his own way that you are wanted. You will be just annoying as the rat, though all you wanna do is to just love him. How sad. Poor rat.

I wanna write again...

2009-08-23T17:11:00.002-04:00

I miss writing... I miss putting my thoughts into writing...

Of Anxiety and Excitement

2009-04-24T00:42:00.003-04:00

It is time for another journey of my life. Both in and out of my comfort zone. The former because I'm with my family now and the latter since I'm away from the close friends I've gained from the Sunshine State. Soon though I would discover new place where I feel I belong to, and also know people whom I would be comfortable with. Surely it would take time to be able to settle down wherever I would practice my profession again. But rest assured I will always try to be myself and do my best to learn from every experience I would encounter.

Moreover, I was able to survive Miami as a newbie three years ago. I was a starter who had no experience at all post graduation. Looking down memory lane, I drove down the freeway for the first time on that same day that my orientation started. From Coral Springs to Miami. No one would be able to get a picture of my dread while driving for an hour to my workplace. Thanks so much for Mr. GPS. Another blooper was that my ignorance and culture rawness caused me to try sticking the needle of the supposed-to-be needleless syringe in one of the heplock of my patient. Oh, the pressure really lingered. But I was able to stand tall and show the world that I am one smart kid who can withstand the challenge that my profession and life per se was imposing. I strived to learn the twists, the routine, until I became better. I am humbly proud of what I've become and I am grateful for those people who believed, and are still trusting in me, while I'm crawling myself onto success. Considering all these, I expect to feel less stress and pressure, and more confidence at this time that I would seek another employment. I was able to battle out my fears and be a caring and professional nurse that I needed to be on my first job, so why let this forthcoming situation make me queasy. But phew, still, I wouldn't deny the anxiety and the excitement I'm feeling right now, of meeting new faces and being in a whole new zone.

All the best for me... It's not going to be easy to find new set of friends and deal with unfamiliar colleagues. But I'll make it through. To the friends I've left in Miami, I'm missing you already. You won't be replaced. We just have to understand that in this life, we have to keep going or else we'll be left behind. And for myself to be more convincing, the interesting thing is I'm going to find a new job and I need it badly, or else I will not be able to swipe anymore for my shopping and out of town trips, haha! I can't wait to fly to South beach again. Oh and New York as well.

I love you guys and visit me here in Houston! :) You're always welcome here..

Bittersweet

2008-05-14T00:42:00.002-04:00

"As I gaze upon the sea! All the old romantic legends, all my dreams, come back to me.” -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Indulge!

2008-05-09T09:50:00.005-04:00

In life, in order to survive, you need to give yourself a chance to hang out with people that you do not know yet very well. It's not bad. Actually, you will just find yourself enjoying their company, and you won't realize you're planning for another get together the next weekend.

On the Cinco de Mayo of this year, I had a spontaneous night out with my colleagues. It was my first time to have really gone out with this group, and it turned out to be fun. We had a joy ride along Miami Beach, and our hunger led us to the famous Rice, House of Kabob. Damn, if I had only known that this small restaurant exists, probably I will be a frequent customer there. haha! I learned to love Persian food when I got to have a taste of Mr. Kabab in Quezon Ave in Manila. So here's what I ordered, and I'd like to go back there soon!

The movies was our next stop. We watched Iron Man and it was a nice movie too. At least I was awake the whole time, considering that I just got 3-4 hours of sleep from work. Gala talaga eh noh. After the movies, we still hung out at one of our friend's pad.

The next day, it was Dale's birthday. Dale's the husband of my friend and colleague Ate Kay. He celebrated it at Benihana. I love it when I try new restos. It's an opportunity to explore what's good around. Benihana is a Japanese resto, where all your main orders are being cooked in front of you by a chef. It's not a shabu shabu type really because we are not the ones cooking the food.

So, it's a new experience again, and of course the food is awesome! I got Filet Mignon! And the shakes too, I love it! I had a Mango Colada, and Mich had a Power cream which was like a Strawberry Shake, and was definitely yummier than mine.

Tomorrow... another time to indulge! Because tomorrow is Abbie's 1st birthday!!! We'll have a children's party at a park. I'm looking forward to it after work.

my commandment

2008-03-28T13:51:00.009-04:00

"Thou shall not disrupt the serenity I'm feeling right now."

Serenity... yes, that's what I'm feeling at the moment. Well, since yesterday, it has dawned on me that I just feel I'm totally refreshed. I don't know exactly the reason behind it. Probably the post easter mania? Most likely. The Easter season provided me the chance to reflect thoroughly about my past and my present, the life that I have lived and how I have traversed thru it, and of course up to this time -- how I constantly deal with everyday's tribulation.

Remembering my dad and Karlo was the highlight of my easter reflection, of course besides meditating on Christ's suffering. And I prayed, I talked to them as if they are just beside me. It made me miss them so much, and it reached the point that I found myself looking back, literally and figuratively. I tried to glance over my photographs with Karlo, and sad to say it was 4 years ago. But those memory were all good. I'm proud that we never really fought and we've always had our ways to compromise, to settle issues, and that had made our relationship stronger, which a lot of people envied.

Anyhow, I'm surprised that while I was driving yesterday to Miami to go to a seminar for my friend's daughter's Baptism (They require Godparents here to attend such seminar), I feel the serenity that I have been longing to feel for quite some time. Amidst the traffic, never did I enjoy driving that much until yesterday. I found myself humming to the songs the radio station was playing. I really had a good time with myself. I kept looking back for some incidences of my life, but even if I have thought of some instances which are not that good, they didn't bother me. I guess I have looked at the positive sides of those and accepted to myself that life goes on, and indeed without those trials, I would never ever be where I'm now. And that they had helped me to become stronger. And again, I'm proud of it. I was never lost at all, and I thank God for that. I touched the rosary then that was hanging on my rearview mirror, and told myself that "this is the day that I feel I'm reborne, and no one will disrupt the serenity I'm feeling."

My heart is still healing right now, quietly and right. and I don't want anyone to cross over the process of healing I'm undertaking at this time. I try to focus and not go astray. It's quite surprising that I have no temptations to go out that much. It might sound boring and laid back, but yes, I try to be a homebody now. With this peaceful life I'm living, I'm doing my study for the upcoming exams. Being in the midst of organizing myself to focus more on my review, it's hard, especially having not studied for like 2 years already, plus I have work. But I'm determined to achieve my dreams and I believe in myself that I can do it. No one can stop me. This is it I guess. I found serenity and I'm hoping I'll stay in this homeostasis as I proceed.

in becoming an ICU nurse

2008-03-13T14:41:00.004-04:00

Phew! I'm off today! This week was pretty tiring. I had ICU classes from Monday to Wednesday, from 8am to 3:30pm, and then next week again, same days and time. I'm really not a morning person. It's just that I'm too lazy to get up early, seems like my body clock is made to be functioning well at nights. Oh well, that happened since I started working nights. I remember that I hated nights before during college days, hehe. Anyways, it was not really information overload that got me to feel tired for the past few days. It's the lack of sleep actually. Last Monday night, we went to hard rock at bayside with my colleagues, just for dinner and catching up, so we stayed up a lil late over there, then i needed to wake up early. Plus the sometimes-boring lectures that we have. But I do appreciate some of the topics that we had discussed, especially the Hemodynamics and the neuro part specifically the ICP monitoring and the discussion about ventriculostomy. I should read about that later on, coz we're goin to have an exam on wednesday. I need to understand further the concept about the Intraaortic balloon pump as well as the Swan-Ganz catheter, their monitoring and stuff. It's a big role for an ICU nurse to understand this hemodynamics, and I guess once you know how to deal with it, then surely you can testify to yourself that you are really an ICU nurse, hehehe! Dr Gottlieb, one of our consultants in Pulmo, also discussed concepts re Respiratory distress. One thing he emphasized was the Oxygen Sat of the patient is not always reliable. A person could sat 100% yet he's not doing good anymore. But then again, the most exciting part was the NEURO, discussed by Ms Amy Eisenberg. She's an ARNP and a CNRN as well, and mind you she's a Filipino. Winner pa rin ang mga Pinoy! hehehe.

Those lectures about the drips and the pacers are the most boring part! hahaha! It got me closing my eyes already, and I was in front. Oh one more thing, the funniest part is that I think I am the youngest (in terms of age) among the nurses there in the class, but I'm the senior in terms of being an RN. The rest of them are new, most of them are fresh out of school. It's just that all of us are new in the ICU environment. So yeah, some topics are quite redundant for me already, such as the protocols and the paperworks to be done. Nevertheless, it's an opportunity for me to learn something new and interesting, to get to know new faces too, and of course it's an added credit to my CEUs.

Thought of the day...

2008-03-06T13:22:00.001-05:00

"Who Should Be Blamed When A Leaf Falls From A Tree? Is It The Wind That Blew It Away? The Tree That Let It Go? Or The Leaf Who Grew Tired Of Holding On?"

Think about it. I found this on my friend's shout out in friendster... And it caught me right away...

randomly written

2008-03-05T14:45:00.004-05:00

Since I transferred to ICU, I got plenty of chance to have consecutive day offs, and it feels great! Yeah, I always work 3 days straight now, and then have longer offs, like 3-4 days off. One time I even got a 6-day off straight. Isn't it nice? If Philippines is only a drive away or even a 6-hour plane travel, I would not hesitate going home. I was thinking I can go out of state too, but I have no company. My friend Michelle is studying for her NCLEX. I wish her all the best for the exam. I know she'll do great.

Anyways, this is my fourth day off. I've been lazy for a while, just hanging on here at home, watch tv, eat, surf the net. Hmm, my colleague called me up this morning if I could do overtime in 8 Main. I'd love to but it's the 18th birthday of my lovely sister today, and we'll have a family dinner later. I don't wanna miss it, coz I already missed her sweet 16th before.

So yeah, my sis is already 18. How time flies so fast. I'm so proud of her. She's smart and beautiful. We're not that close but she knows I'm always here for her. She's a senior now, and by fall season, she's gonna go to college. She passed all the schools that she wanted. No doubt coz she ranks 9th among all the senior students. Probably there are 600-700 of them. (Mana talaga sa ate! nyaha!) So she's trying to figure out now where she'll be. She's trying to choose between University of Florida and University of Austin in Texas, and she'll be taking up Pharmacy. It's amazing that their pharmacy course here is automatically PhD, and that's for 6 years. She can do it, I'm certain with that.

She came home a while ago from school and I gave her my gift. She was surprised and I was glad that she liked what I gave. I got her a Juicy Couture perfume set from Nordstrom.

I know she liked opening gifts. I used to give her money but sometimes I would rather receive a present. It's the feeling of unwrapping gifts that's more exciting. My little sister (10-year old) was funny too. She made a card for her ate and inside the envelope she put a dollar. Lol. We kept on laughing.

As for me, I got myself a makeover the other day. haha! Trip trip lang. I got my hair permed.

I look different but I like it. More sophisticated. But I was having a hard time fixing my hair. I thought it would be easier, but I found it tiresome, like you have to apply a mousse, which I haven't done in my entire life, lol. Then you must use a dryer with a diffuser. A change for me too coz I need to buy shampoo and conditioner that's good for a curled hair. Wahhh! Kinda expensive pala. But it's all good. Sometimes a dare for a change is a challenge and exciting. Sometime again, I'll go back to my straight hair, when this would grow out.

Hmm... my mom and I also went shopping this morning. She came from work, then she called me up that we'll meet at the mall. Yeah I remember today was the start of the sale in Macy's for their make ups and shoes. For the shoes, you'll buy one and get one for a dollar. So I fixed myself and drove over there. My mom bought her make ups and she got 2 pairs of shoes, because of that promo. But as for me, I didn't like the shoes that were on the sale, but I got a pair of shoes from nine west, a 4-in patent shoes. It was less 10% off the original price

Gahh, I've been a sucker for shoes lately. I think a month ago, I bought a pair of shoes too from Naturalizer.

Oh well, those are my addiction, and purses as well. I miss shopping in the Philippines. I miss VNC! haha! I got 3 pairs of shoes in VNC when I went home last Dec, coz it's so cheap when you convert it in dollars. Here, a pair of shoes would cost me $60-$75. In PI, a pair is just $30. Not bad at all!

Hayyy, enough for shopping na. Next month uli, lol. Haha! I gotta save for my trip to Cali! My best friends Tintin and Chippy are visiting in California from Manila, so I can't wait to meet them. They won't be able to travel east coast siguro, so I opt to just go there myself in California. I can't wait!!! We must go to Vegas and it would be fun!

Arighty, these are all for now. =) Byers!

8's lucky!

2008-02-23T11:23:00.005-05:00

It's 2008 already, and I missed blogging! Guess life had been busier that there was no room for me to write the events of my life. Whatever it is that I had not shared in here will remain a memory to me, until probably I'll have Alzheimer's someday.. haha! I hope not!

To be honest, this year seems a pretty good year, compared to 2007. I don't wanna discuss what 2007 has brought me because it's like a nightmare. Let's focus with the here and now. At this time, I guess I'm in the stage of trying to move on smoothly and starting right with whatever it is that I'm working on. I'm taking my time, no rush. Everyday has been a new learning day for me, and I'm enjoying every bit of it.

Transferring to an ICU, spefically Medical ICU, is a big jump for me career-wise. I mean I did this for I have bigger plans for my future. Facing it, I know, will be a challenge. Yeah because I have established my comfort zone already in 8 Main, the unit where I have formerly worked. 8 Main has been my family for more than a year, and leaving it has not been easy. But I know life is all about changes, and I am more glad to take changes for I know it will be for my best.

Presently, I'm enjoying my stay in ICU. For sure, it challenged my brain, my energy, my emotions, everything. Patient's turnovers are minimal because they are chronic and it serves best for me, because I can study more their cases. Don't get me wrong, like I'm toxic or something, but it came to me at times that I'd like to make a case study on my patients. hahaha! Yeah, probably that's what my alma mater has instilled in me, to always consider events learning experiences; and by trying to look deeply onto it, you will learn something more. So yeah, I met new faces, colleagues with whom I'm still on the process of getting to know. Nevertheless, I yearn for my friends in 8 Main thus still keeping in touch with them, and actually I'm trying to do overtimes there.

Lovelife, zero, but I'm having fun! No worries and no tears. hehehe. My time is my own. I hope it will be at least a year before I'll engage myself into another relationship. Well we'll never know, but I'd just like for me to take it slow and get to know people... Whoever I'll meet, then so be it.

So cheers to a wonderful 2008!!! I always like '8' by the way! It's just kinda lucky! =)

i'm on the right track

2007-10-08T02:55:00.000-04:00

It's been a while again. I guess I was really caught up with work... Hmm, been pretty busy. Got two jobs, and I'm enjoying learning new things. I'm in the stage now where I get to learn more about my capabilities, my strengths and weaknesses. (Well yeah, I know that everyday is a battlefield.) But I'm speaking of a different level here. I get to test my temper, my patience. I'm trying to hold on to some things. I hope they're worth it. You won't understand, I know, but my world is quite complicated now. Lotsa things happening... sometimes I'm up, other times I'm down. I try to think positive though. There are things that would always help us and make us feel better, and we just have to switch our thoughts over them. Even though it's hard and we cannot do it with just one snap, we still can do it if we choose to.

Speaking of positive... I got my green card already!!! Hell yeah! Haha! That means I can go home to my home country... yippee!!! I'm planning to go home next year, 2008.. I hope I'll pursue with the plan, because my mom is planning to have the vacation in Vancouver instead. We'll see, but the most important thing is I'm already a permanent resident here in US, and I can study further! Yup, I see my future plans falling on the right track, and I can't thank God enough for it. After this telemetry experience, I should definitely have an ICU experience and pursue with the CRNA course. And the rest will follow. Probably and hopefully it will take me three to four years more to reach the endpoint of my goal. And after that, I should get married! hahaha! Part of this too, of course, is having to keep a healthy relationship with my significant other. I believe all these will be fulfilled with prayers, determination, persistence and confidence. So cheers to being able to achieve these goals! =)

mint chocolate

2007-03-31T14:08:00.000-04:00

I was with my 9-year old sister in my parents' room this morning. She was holding her white board and marker, while I was ironing my uniforms for work. She asked me, "Ate, what should I draw?" Yeah, my sister loves art. Then I told her, "You can draw anything you want. Why, what is it that you want to draw at the moment?" She kept on thinking and finally said, "I don't know. Tell me what to draw." Then I asked her, "Is that your only problem?" And she nodded. I came to think that she is lucky that she is just a child, for now, and her only problem is what it is that she will draw. Sometimes I wish I could go back to be in her age again, where I can be carefree and have nothing big to worry about.

She kept on thinking, then she drew a guitar. Well she knows how to play guitar and piano, so probably that what has come to her mind. Then I asked her, "Do you want to be a grown up now? Just like Ate.. 22 years old?" She thought about it and replied, "Nah, I will be tired. I will have to drive and go to work, it's tiring. I don't even know how to drive. I'll get crashed." "Then I'll teach you how to drive," I said. "No, I'm too small," she answered. We just laughed.

Well I guess we just have to accept that we really are opted to grow up, and grow old. Speaking of survival of the fittest. And I can say I also had a good memory of my childhood. I was never deprived of play, love and warmth from my family. It's just that sometimes it would come into us to think that it would be so nice to be a child again. My sister is still enjoying the time of her life as a child.

She continually drew in her white board, while I was hanging my clothes in the closet. But this time she was making a creative abstract drawing of the mint chocolate we ate at Dippin' dots yesterday. She was smiling and asking me if I can buy her another serving of it the next time we go to the mall.

reason to smile =)

2007-03-07T20:29:00.000-05:00

Dami nangyari lately.. bad and good... but life still chose to give me reason to smile...

Last week my co-workers and I went to have breakfast in Southbeach after work. Then Bryan got into a vehicular accident, having his car totally wrecked. Nakatulog kase.. sa kabusugan siguro. Gaaa, if you can see his car you cannot seem to think that the one driving it would come out alive. And I'm really thankful that he survived it. It's his second life. He just got a left wrist greenstick fracture. No scratches on his face, gwapo pa rin, hehe! When I heard the news, flashbacks of what happened to Karlo struck me. And I felt lucky that this time, I was able to talk to him when I called him, assuring me that he is okay, the CT scan done has all been normal. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ayoko na ulit mawalan...

Seventeenth birthday party din ni Barbie nung weekend dito sa bahay. It was fun because it's another family gathering. Dito din mga pinsan ko. My dad is also here now at home, may private nurse sya round the clock. But of course, we stay beside him as much as possible. Nakapag hard rock pa pala kami ni Sherrein nung Friday. Haha! After a year since I've been there. Ayun, masayan naman nung nag-clubbing kami...

Sa work naman, hayyyy, grabe, toxic-toxican ako for the past two nights. Dami ko pre-op patients. First time ko din magkaroon ng patient who has pre-op orders for Open heart surgery. Whew! Nawindang ako. Super dami ng kelangan gawin and the orders were made like 9PM and the patient was going for 5AM surgery. Kala ko complete na, yung urinalysis pala di ko nagawa. I hope hindi nagalit yung MD na kulang yun. haha! Bahala na sila, nakauwi naman na ako, wehehe, and I'll be off for a couple of days. But it was good to learn from mistakes. Tapos feeling ko talaga minalas ako kagabi, haha! Nagleak yung 2 IV site at kelangan ulit mag-insert. Tapos nandun pa yung anak ng patient na nagrereklamo and nagdedemand na tawagan yung doctor, wherein tinawagan ko naman, kaso sinigawan ako kase galit sya sa anak. haha! Onga naman, ang lumalabas kase ang anak ang nagiging patient ko. Pero with all those circumstances last night, I still was able to finish on time. Onga pala mag-isa lang din akong nagbreak kagabi kase na-late ako ng break, busy-busyhan kase.

After work naman, I slept for an hour sa apartment, took bath, then punta kina Bryan. Nagluto kami ng corned beef, PUREFOODS!!! hahaha! babaw noh, sensha na kase first time kong makatikim ng purefoods corned beef dito sa States, wala kase nagbebenta dito. Dala pa yun ng tita nya galing Pinas. Buti nakalusot.. Yummm! Tapos I mixed 2 eggs with it, just like what I was making during college days. Tapos movie marathon, 2 DVD's napanood namin. Nakatulog nga lang ako in between kase nga galing pa akong work. Tapos umuwi na rin late afternoon. Glad ok na rin sya. Naka-brace na lang yung left wrist nya.

Right now, I'm here beside Papa... spending time with him. Antok na nga ako, baka dito na lang din ako sleep sa couch tonight. At least la naman ako pasok tom. Sa weekend sana labas din with cousins while it's their spring break. Arighty, yun lang muna update ko for now.. Kahit papano eh natutuwa ako na masaya naman tayo despite the adversities we have each day. I thank you all for praying for my dad, for my friends who stand by me and my family, sa mga relationships and probs na naayos na. Happy happy na ang lahat so far.. Let's keep it up =)

slowly saved

2007-02-27T06:21:00.000-05:00

I just don't understand how life goes on. One moment you're happy, that everything seemed perfect, then all of a sudden everything changed and you can be so down. It's sad to realize that fairy tales do take chances and you sure are lucky if one lands on your palm. I've never imagined for things to happen this way and that I tend to question if do i really deserve this? Am I treated like a crap? Was there love at all? Gaaa, I can't believe this had happened. Not now... Ooops not! I'm taking it back. I'm glad it happened as earlier as now. At least I've spared myself.

Oh well, that's the way it should be probably, but still I hope that sometime soon, life's gonna treat me well. I can still handle it, but sometimes it's just too much.. too much that I myself, am trying to smile numbly just to make myself feel better, but deep inside you're not feeling alright, or I am.. Not!

Well just as I thought of it, I am the person who can easily move on. I guess it's just a matter of getting used to it. But I should learn my lesson, yes I did... or I didn't? Sigh... I also have to make use of my smart ass, not just that brainless heart. And I just hate myself for not knowing how to get mad at all... not at all. I just complained to myself but I don't know how to express to the secondary person. I'm just appease with the situation that people see me that I am fine, fine like I am not hurting inside. I really know how to keep things myself.

But I'm better now I'm telling you. Better than good is good right? I just have to move on with my life and fulfill those dreams I want. Yes it's not that bad. I still have my faith that God won't give me troubles that I cannot surpass. I wonder if how life would be if it has no scratches at all, wouldn't it be boring? At least for now, it's challenging. Seeing the brighter side huh? Yeah, I know I can overcome all of these.

Anyways, I'm off to my preceptorship in my work last month, pretty much enjoying the job. Everyday is a new day and a learning experience for me. I am closer to my co-workers and friends. They are a family to me.

I also really miss my friends in the Philippines though. Especially the girls. I wish they're here...

Happy New Year!

2007-01-06T19:38:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Christmas season is done. It's already 2007! Whew! I've never thought about my new year's resolution yet, haha. Does everyone really have one? I mean for me I just have to get along with the flow. But I understand that the resolution seems like an outline or an idea, much more like a goal, for us to lead this new year into a fruitful one. As for me, I desire to be more hardworking and dedicated in my job, to gain more friends and to love those who are around me, that I will learn how to run my own career, save my money and be practical actually with regards to my expenditures. yeah right huh? lol. Well let's see.

I spent my new year by the way in Chicago, with my ever-so gentleman friends Max and Alex. I never thought I'd be going there for the winter. But then I got 3 days off straight last Dec 30, 31 and Jan 1, so when Max told me to come, why not? My family is not here so better spend it with friends, and it was indeed fun! Actually it's pretty tight, coz I have work Dec 29 7PM to 7AM of Dec. 30. So I went straight ahead to the airport off from work. I wasn't even able to sleep on the plane because there were a lot of children, a lot of babies, traveling that were near my seat; they're loud! I arrived Chicago at 3PM. But even though I just spent 3 days there, the days and night seemed long. It's good to be away from work for a while and spent time with your close friends. New year was fun. We did eat and eat, lol. Then before new year's eve, we watched the Pursuit of Happiness as well as the Blood Diamond, marathon! Sweet! And I'm so glad that I gotta treat my friends with my salary. They were the first people whom I treated since I received my paycheck, and it felt good to share with them what you've earned. I went home Jan 2 AM because I have work at 7PM. So again, I went directly from the airport to my hospital. So imagine I was so sleepy during the shift, lol. I just got to sleep on the plane for 2 hours that day and that's it, ready to work again. And thanks really to Bryan who gave me a ride to and from the airport. Chicago's weather was nice. It's not snowing though. But it's amazing to feel the cold once in a while. Lovin' it for sure.

With regards to work, I'm gonna start working alone (without preceptor) on February. Good luck to me! I wish I can manage it. Well I have no choice. But so far, I'm doing good. I am able to learn a lot. Taking care of cardio patients is really interesting. There are so much to learn with the heart. My patients mostly are those with complaints of Chest pain, COPD, CHF, so you get to understand more of what's going on with the heart, medically speaking, lol (because when love life kicks in, it's a different story, hahaha). And in my unit, the cases vary. I have some Psych patients, ortho patients, those with DM, renal failure, decubitus ulcers, GI concerns... All cases, because it's the only VIP floor. So whatever cases they may have, if they want a VIP room, as long as it doesn't require ICU care, they go to our unit.

Anyways, I already got use with the routine, and it's good that I'm doing the 7PM-7AM shifts now permanently. At least I can give a total care for my patients. Proud to say too that I already knew how to insert an IV!!! YEY! hehe. Getting used to operating the machines too, and I'm more confident now in handling my patients. I just got to practice myself more with regards to calling the doctors to clarify some orders or to report significant concerns. I also got to appreciate how important it is to look at the lab results of my patients and relate them to their diagnosis as well as the medications they're receiving. Nursing is so interesting!

And with regards to my family there in my workplace, I have nothing to ask for. They're so supportive and it's fun working. When 12 AM strikes, we eat together, just like a family, and we have a lot of food. Seriously. There are times that we seem to have a party always. I hope I will maintain my weight with all the food that we're eating, lol. Since 90% in my unit are Filipinos, our food are Filipino foods too. We have hopia, siopao and other Fil viands during our midnight dinner. Then sometimes, after our shift, my friends/colleagues (those who are in my age), we eat breakfast in South beach. Yep, in Ocean drive. It's so relaxing actually. We drive there over the beach to destress and just talk and laugh, feel the breeze, watch those people who are going to surf. I'm enjoying it and I cannot be thankful enough to have a second family whom I am comfortable working with. Because yeah, if you're not happy with your work, then surely you wouldn't succeed. My colleagues too are always planning some hang outs and parties, so looking forward to those.

Finally, my family (the biological ones, hehe), they're going to arrive here on the 9th! Can't wait!!! I miss them so much. Especially their cooking, lol. I miss my youngest sister so much...

Arighty, I'm glad I got this precious night to update my blog. I'm off today and tomorrow that's why. Take care and I wish all of you a prosperous new year! :)

Happy holidays

2006-12-25T11:39:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone!!! I know I haven't updated this blog for so long, and sorry po.. I've been so busy with work and the rush of the holidays. I hope I can get in touch with this blog real pretty soon. Oh one more reason I can't update that much is that I don't have an internet connection yet in the place where I'm staying at. Hopefully after the holidays, the Comcast cable would follow it up.

Anyways guys, Happy Holidays!!! and hope you have a blessed one. Cheers!!! Advanced Happy New Year na rin! ENJOY! DRINK (but don't drive) AND HAVE LOTSA FUN!!! MMMWAH! Loveyah!

Time is precious

2006-12-09T11:54:00.000-05:00

Christmas Day is about 16 days to go, and my family is flying back to Philippines two weeks from now. Well my dad is flying ahead on Tuesday. I'll surely miss them. That's why I wanna spend quality time with them as of now. I wonder what I'm gonna do on the holidays. I wish I'll be busy with work, so that I cannot think of them that much, or else I would burst into tears on Christmas eve. Nah, just kidding. If ever I don't have a duty that day, I'll spend Christmas with my 2 cousins and together we'll make it merry. hehe.

I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet, coz I don't have my salary yet. It'll be next week, so I have to rush my shopping by then coz I wanna send gifts to my best friends in PI and my mom has to bring them with her.

Anyways, talking about my week, it was pretty good. I had a 12-hour duty last Wednesday and it was my first time to have that sched (7AM-7PM). It was tiring coz I'm not used to it yet. I was able to get out of my unit at around 8PM already. But the bulk of this week comprised of my classes. Monday I had my first day of preceptorship class, and we discussed wound care, safety, stuffs like that. Every Monday (except on the holidays) until the 2nd wk of January are my classes. Then just this Thu and Fri we had EKG class, and good thing it had a credit of 12 hours of Continuing Education. We need 25 hours a year. And I'm proud to say I got 100% on my EKG exam!!! YEYYYY!!! haha! Made my day great of course.

As for now, I'm spending my time with my family. I was supposed to have a duty yesterday night (11PM to 7AM), which was not on my sched. It was actually an option, whether I wanna take it or not, coz this week I just had 32 hours, so I lack 4 hours. But then I asked my manager if I really have to make it 36 hours. She said it's my choice but I would just be paid for 32 hours. Then I thought, it's fine. Especially now that my family is about to leave and my dad's condition isn't that good, my priority is to go home and spend time with them. Money cannot buy my time with my family. I said to myself that I can do overtime later on, but not now. We don't know how things will turn out to be in a snap. And I don't wanna have regrets later on that I didn't spend time with my dad. Work is just there but my time with my dad & family is a different story. I'm really saddened with the fact that I cannot spend Christmas with him. We don't know if this will be his last Christmas, so I'm making the most out of my weekend. Tomorrow we'll have a gathering here at home to celebrate in advanced his birthday and may be it will be a sort-of advanced Christmas party for the clan, before everyone leaves for PI.

But work matters, I'm having fun so far. I mean I'm enjoying the learning process. Even though I struggle I understand, because if I want to be successful, I really have to start from scratch, experience how to slowly climb the staircase until I reach the top and stand tall in the pedestal.

Hello world of nursing!

2006-12-02T10:55:00.000-05:00

I was sooo toxic this last week! Wahhhh! haha. Didn't get enough sleeping hours, my whole body is quite aching now. But it was all good. I encountered a lot of new faces and got to know friendly people, of different races. I learned stuffs that are vital to my new living.

It was Nov. 27, Mon, when I started my orientation, (We had it in Miami Heart Institute for the first three days) and my feeling that day? - Well it was like my first day in a new school. But there's this Cuban lady Alicia, whom I met weeks before, during my Medical Exam, so it was her who was my first friend and no doubt that we became companions and seatmates. She's nice and her aura just equates mine, so we clicked in an instant. The orientation by the way related the hospital, clinical, and nursing policies and expectations, for that week. They were a whole-day classes and overwhelming as they were, we began feeling quite nervous of the upcoming duties. Unfamiliar equipments, the hi-tech ones, were introduced. Last Thursday we had our class in Mount Sinai Medical Center itself and we had the chance to tour around and go to our respective units to talk with our nurse manager.

Hence I spoke with my co-Filipina nurse manager. She was nice, smart and obviously responsibly strict. I was told to go back the next day and boy I didn't expect that, lol. I thought after a 4-day class, I can go back home in Coral Springs. I was homesick already by the way. So yeah, she let me know that I'm going to begin shadowing with a buddy nurse from 7AM-3PM the next day. It was pretty fast huh! But still I drove back home that day in Springs, arrived late 6:30pm, then did my laundry, ironed my uniform, ate good food ~ sinigang na isda, kakamiss pala! (I haven't eaten real home food since Sunday!) and slept for just 5 hours and a half. At 4AM I woke up and took a shower. Then by 5AM, I was off to go drive to Miami. Great coz there was no traffic in I-95, arrived there in Mount Sinai by 6:15. Never late on my first day!

As I was on my way to my unit, I was relaxed but I was curious on how my day would end, hoping that it would end successfully. I wondered who's gonna be the nurses there. But gahhh, when I arrived in 8 Main (my unit), there's a bunch of Filipinos!!! I never felt like home. They welcomed me to the point that I can't help but to smile and be grateful that I was assigned in a unit that I think I won't be left out. Most of them (the pinoys) were night shifts too and my permanent shift is 7PM to 7AM, so I was relieved. (I was assigned in morning shifts just for the first few weeks.) Moreso, I thought I would be the youngest, but I was wrong. haha! There's this Filipina named Michelle, she's so nice and she's a graduate of Silliman University, and she's 21. Yes! At last, I found someone who's in my age and she told me that there's a few more nurses in the night shift who belong to our age line. Isn't it amazing? It wasn't long enough from the time that we introduced ourselves that she told me that we'll go out sometime, have breakfast or what. My day started right and it felt great!

On that day, I shadowed a nurse indeed. My preceptor was Denize and she's a very good nurse. She really has a good therapeutic communication skills and I was impressed! She handled me well and I've learned a lot of things, considering it was my first day. We had an admission and a discharge, some patients were for procedures and surgery, so my first day was worth-it! I got the chance to observe how they do those processes there. I also got the chance to know how they fax med orders to the pharmacy, how they order blood components from the blood bank and a lot more. We handled 5 patients together, and they were mostly cardio patients in that Med-Surg telemetry ward. It was tough. Well it's because our patients were tough. Mind you, we're handling VIP patients in the unit and they tend to be very demanding, especially the family members. You cannot get rid of them and you must be careful. One of our patients yesterday was a CIA and the other one was an editor in a big Miami newspaper company. Tsk tsk.. First day huh!

As I was pacing thru my work on that day, I began to appreciate more and adjust more with my job as an RN. I feared before that I will be having a hard time starting since the last time I had my clinical duties was March 2005. But nah, yesterday it was smooth and I was doing well. I guess I'll be thankful to my mentors and my Alma Mater. Thank you UP Manila College of Nursing.. Hehe.. But yes, really. I'm so sincerely grateful.

The fact also that my fourth year college clinicals in PGH (2 month clinicals) was spent in VIP ward has been very helpful. And yesterday it didn't create that much difference. Nursing, I realized, is nursing, as long as you have a good foundation. The complete care for your patients is still a total care no matter where you go. Once you have the skills, it wouldn't be that hard. The only difference and the thing that I think I will be adjusting with more this time is their manner of documentation. They have an entirely different way of charting here. They are more concered of medical malpractice and they are more strict with the paperworks. Mount Sinai's way of charting is still in writing but it's more of a checklist type. More organized than I encountered in the Philippines and more comprehensive. We utilize computers for access to labs, med reconciliation, stuffs like that. Also with regards to the equipments, they are more hi-teched. It's my first time to get a hold of a PCA (patient controlled analgesia), haha! As a matter of fact too, when we were being toured in the Pharmacy, the Robot which cost somewhere like $1.5 million, was the one dispensing the medications 24/7. That would certainly prevent significant percentage of medical errors. It was certainly amazing!

I was also amazed with our badge (ID). It's multipurpose! We swipe it when we park our cars in the parking lot of course. We swipe it when we badge in and out. If we don't have money and we need to eat in the cafeteria, we can swipe it and whatever it costs, it will just be deducted from our paycheck. We also have a giftshop and if you purchase over $10, you can also use it like a debit card. You can buy movie tickets also with it from its booth. Ha, wonderful right? lol... But it might trick you and if you're extravagant, you will end up having nothing anymore in your paycheck, lol. Just kidding. Talking about paycheck, I'm excited to get my first one, on the 2nd week of Dec. It's bi-weekly, so when I would receive mine, it's going to be a 3-week salary. YEY!!! Gotta pay my debts to my mom. haha!

Whew! That's it. I know that there's a lot more to encounter as I traverse with my roads in the nursing world, and I'll try to share it with you too. So just stay tuned! =) I'm also happy and very grateful that I have reached this point in my life that I'm beginning with my own career and I'm hoping that it will become successful.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2006-11-22T17:22:00.000-05:00

Such a hell week for me.. Been coming to and fro Miami. At least I'm getting used in driving the freeway. haha! Pwede na ako magstate hopping. lol. Well, five days from now, I'm gonna start with my work. I got my badge yesterday! I'm a certified employee of Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami Beach. Yikes na Yeyyy! hehe. Mixed feelings... But I hope everything will be fine. It should be or else.... nah, I wanna be positive about it. I know it will be fine.

Oh last night, guess what.. at 6:30 PM I was already asleep. Haha! I was sooo tired, and the previous nights I seemed to lack hours of sleep. The pressure... a lot of things to deal with regarding work and relocation, they're just pulling my legs off. At 3AM, I woke up, then wasn't able to go back to sleep so I just surfed the net until 6AM.. muni-muni.. Then I slept for another hour and got ready (by 7AM) to send my sis and bro to their schools and then met my mom in Walmart (she's from duty) in order to buy stuffs for my apartment. Hayyyy, it's so tiring! When we got home, it was already lunch time and my parents gave me lotsa errands to do... laundry, pick up sis, go to the post office and to the bank. Whew! I'm still doing the laundry now, hehe, waiting for it to be done...

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Anyhoo, tomorrow is Thanksgiving day! My second time experiencing Thanksgiving here. Last year was so much fun, so I wish tomorrow's gonna be more fun with the entire family, cousins, aunts & uncles. It'll be the last gathering, kase sa pinas na sila magchristmas =( But yeah, lotsa turkey again tom with yummy stuffing! Lovin' it! and I'm gonna make some dessert again for them. And since it's a holiday, there will be a big sale on the mall this weekend. I hope I can do some shopping for furnishing my flat.. Ughh, I feel I'm already in debt, and to think I haven't started my job yet. My mom's been paying for all of my expenses for now & I owe her a lot!

Last year's Thanksgiving day with cousins

And since it's Thanksgiving day.... I would like to thank everyone for keeping up with me. THANK YOU PO...

Thanks to the Lord for all the blessings He has given me and my whole family... and for guiding my friends. Thanks to Him for hearing my prayers and for making things happen for my best. And thanks to Him for helping me fight whatever struggles that I come to face in this eventful life of mine.

I would also like to show gratitude to my parents, my brother and my sisters for loving & supporting me. The times that we get to bond, to talk heart to heart and get to laugh about some thoughts are great moments that make me smile and treasure them all my life. Even though sometimes we are sooo tired of hearing complaints & we argue (esp my sis/bro and i), well it's part of the family relationship where we can grow up & learn from each other.

my family

To my cousins and relatives for the same support as well. For my cousins who make staying in Florida worthwhile and fun.. talking about the gimmick and other escapades we've been to.

Florida Espanol cousins

And of course my barkada and friends... Hayyy, I don't know what would happen to me if I have no friends. Life without friends, without you, would be such a bore. I know you have known this ever since but it's not tiring to say.. Thank you, that even if we're far from each other, we still got each other to rely on.

barkada since birth
UP Barkada

Close college friends - my sisses and bros

Moreover, being here in FL without my close friends nearby is kinda lonely. But I'm still lucky that I got my two kabarkadas Max and Alex in Chicago who are always there for me, who got the patience to listen to my rants... Thanks for the advices and for hurting my ass laughing with your corny jokes.. Thanks for all the fun times we have had! For showing me the beauty of Chicago.. For the support of course.. Tsaka I'm so grateful na damayan tayo sa kung anuman ang mga tinatahak natin.. Hindi rin po kase biro ang mabuhay dito sa States.. (Thanks to American Airlines & Northwest and to T-mobile & Cingular as well! hehehe..)

Max, Kat and Alex

To Hiyas and Colet for being there keeping in touch no matter what (parang hindi ako nalalayo sa pinas kapag kausap ko kayo), for the texts... and Hiyas, thanks for your e-mails which get longer and longer with all your stories... hehe. I miss you - the bond, girltalks, inuman!!! Sana punta na kayo kagad dito...

Kat, Colet and Yas

Basta to the rest of the barkada, my friends....you know who you are... Thanks for the friendship and love! MISS KO NA KAYO! Sana hindi aabutin ng two years bago ako makakauwi uli ng Pinas..

And to my fellow bloggers... Thanks thanks for reading... and sharing your sentiments with mine as well...

Sis Rho especially, salamat din... Ikaw ang isa sa mga paborito kong kaibigan sa blogworld! hehehe... Kase napakathoughtful mo eh.. tsaka magaan loob ko sayo.. (di ako tibo ah! hehehe) Basta we'll see each other someday... After all, NC is not that far naman from FL diba?

Okidoki then, HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. Take care all of you... MWAH!

Late Fall Escapades

2006-11-15T21:14:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while since I've last posted. Things got pretty busy lately this late fall. Well, busy in taking a vacation, hehehe. But apart from unwinding with my friends in Chicago (again after three months! I'll expound on that later), I've been dealing with my upcoming work, attending to the paperworks, going to Miami for the medical exam, taking an ocular survey of my soon-to-be crib... those sort of things.

Yeah before I departed Miami to O'hare Chicago last week, I've signed some paperworks in the hospital and I've seen my apartment already. But I'm still thinking if I'll get that room, because I am only allowed to stay there for quite a while. I still don't know but it will just be like 3 months. I'll call them tomorrow if 6 months will be possible. So yeah, I'm thinking that it will be a hassle for me to transfer again to some other flat soon, and since it's still unfurnished I need to bring a bed, a microwave, and some furnitures. Hence it is better if I find a place where I could stay permanently for like 2 years, and I'll be luckier if it's furnished. Oh well, if I really can't find an affordable place anymore for a short period of time (I need to move in by nov. 26), then I have no choice but to take that apartment. Actually it's really good since it's within the hospital campus and it's cheap (electricity included). I'm just concerned with the hassle that I'll be going thru and the additional expense, i.e. having cable & phone be connected.

Anyways, I've taken a short break in Chicago with my two kabarkadas Alex and Max, again!!! It felt so good to hang out with them for almost a week. The last time I was there was three months ago. Since we're on mid-November now, the weather was so cold there, that it seemed it's already winter. The temperature ranged from 30's-40's degree Fahrenheit. So we have to wear layers of clothes and jackets when going out. The weather is so tiring that you just wanna lay in bed and cuddle your pillow (or someone, hehe) all the time, since it's cold and it gets dark early... 3PM seemed like 8PM!

Since I've done most of my sightseeing last summer (which was a good time really to stroll Chicago, weather-wise), this time we spent days and nights together doing foodtrip, watching movies, some more foodtrips, window shopping, did an eventful clubbing and more more foodtrips. hahaha! Omg, the three of us actually gained weight. Seriously. We took a look of our photos last summer and have them compared to our newly taken photos, there's a big difference, lol. May be it's with the weather (weather weather lang yan!) hahaha! (palusot eh noh) But still we enjoyed eating! We dined in Sal & Carvao and it's amazing!!! It's a steak buffet and a sort-of fine dining resto, if you're a steak lover, it's worth the price! We had dinner in Todai (Japanese seafood buffet) twice too, and my boys devoured the oysters (panalo talaga!) Max and I also dined out in Joy Yee's (sayang wala si alex) and we ravished ourselves with their Tapiocas, some varied Asian cuisine. So, who would not gain weight with that? And oh, add some midnight snacks still! The condo we're staying at is near a pizza place and one night Max was craving and we went out just to buy 6 slices of pizza (big slices! lol) Then the next night, at the same resto, we managed to order more Italian foods - Mozzarella sticks, Lasagna and Quesadilla. Hahaha! Our rationalization? so that we have something to eat for breakfast; and our general rationalization for our ever foodtrip? we're gonna lose it when we start working (for me & Alex since Max has been working since then, lol) and we just seldom hang out together, so why not enjoy voracious eating right?! Hmmm.. sounds good rationale, so go go go! LOL. And now, I need to burn all those calories, eat less and exercise more. And so far, since yesterday, I'm doing well with my diet. hehe. And I bet those two guys are also managing to watch out what they're consuming.

Hayyyy.. I miss those two. The movies we have watched were the Borat and The Return. We laughed our asses off with Borat! Non-sense but really funny. The Return was just fine, not soo good. We didn't know why we had chosen it, hehe. And with regards to our clubbing escapade in Bamboo Room, I said it was eventful because there was a fight inside the club, and it wasn't just a fight. It was "madugo." Basag ata ang mukha nung isa eh. Damn! It was freaking scary, but this Max was enjoying the scene. Sira talaga! We went out of the club immediately, but then the people on the fight were on their way out too, so we were so close to them (Yikes!) What's scary wasn't the blood (sanay na sa duguan! hehe), but it was that may be the fight will get more intense, and yup it did actually outside the bar since the cops weren't there yet. It took a while before we were able to leave since we put the car on valet parking. Geez, there's even a scene that beer bottles were thrown and we're almost hit. It was indeed eventful huh, my first clubbing in Chicago. Not the last though. I'm going back, hehehe.

Sooo there, I still have a hang over now and I'm happy that I got to spend time with them before drowning myself into work soon. At least I have shared my rants and sentiments to my two close friends. I'm gonna miss them and I hope it won't take a long time before we'll see each other again. Good thing Chicago is just three hours away, and the fare from here in FL to there isn't that costly (mas mahal pa ang fare ng domestic flights sa Pilipinas, i.e. Manila to Gensan! Imagine!?) And I'm proud that an added change in the three of us is that we'll all be working RNs. I mean Alex and I got our work permits and all just this late October (Max is already an immigrant). Unlike three months ago, where one of our rants was that whether the two of us will be granted by the immigration a chance to work and that we won't go home in PI anymore. I guess our wishes were granted. Thank God. Well, I hope next time, it will be the two of them who's gonna visit me here. My treat that time of course.

Ok then, that's it for now... :)

Into becoming a butterfly

2006-11-03T00:02:00.000-05:00

I get butterflies in my stomach everyday...Well recently... and it gets more and more intense as each day passes by. Really!!! Whew! Can't help it.. I'm counting the days! Is this for real? The long awaited moment has arrived, after being bummed for a year and 5 months. But the supposed-to-be excited feeling is slowly becoming an anxiety... Anxious that I doubt my capabilities to perform accurately and intelligently in the real world. Am I ready? Oh for sure! I mean this is definitely not a game, not an internship nor a course where one tries to perform while trying to earn a high grade and to pass. Rather this is a profession and I'm holding a license that I must protect and be careful with my whole life. Ughh, I feel I have forgotten a lot already, haha! Trying to remember the meds..cardiac meds especially, and the procedures.. Gaaa, they're freaking me out. I would absolutely need to scan my notes again, read ECG books. Heyyy you, I hear you telling me that I'm toxic, lol.. But yeah, I am.. ever since. Haha. Guilty?! Nah, I would proudly admit it. Lol.

Despite the wobbly feeling I'm having right now, I am trying to compose myself of what's going to happen soon. Surely this would be offering me a great deal of change. My life is beginning another chapter and I am about to build a new comfort zone. It seemed hard, yes, to start. I hear it all the time, but how would I know how deep the water is if I don't take a dip on it, right? I am about to take a big leap on my career and this is it! Sleepless nights and the big adjustment might stimulate my lacrimal glands along the way. I'm quite ready for that... Well, I'm trying to get myself ready for that. But I believe that it would just be a matter of time and I'll be used to my new life.

Yes, it will be a fresh life... away from my family, new set of people to get along with, fitting in with them, with their expectations.... new environment and living alone, on my own, in my crib... paying my own bills (gosh!)... saving to buy my own car (it's a necessity here!)... and oh, cooking my own food! And the list goes on and on... Yeah, I would like to promise myself this time that I would avoid fastfoods and buying those instant meals, i.e. instant noodles. Ughh, they're unhealthy and I had enough of them during college days.

I will surely miss my family, even if they're just an hour away. I know I can drive home anytime when I'm off duty, but the thought that I would be alone there, without even knowing a single person/friend to talk to (for now) in there, give me shivers. Perhaps I will try to drown myself into work for the first months, which will be my defense mechanism, against my loneliness. Yes it works for me. I tend to forget my problems once I get busy and if I find something else to focus to. (Just like Karlo days and Psych Nursing! hehehe...)

Sooo... Miami Beach here I come! November 26, it's goodbye Coral Springs and hello Miami! Good thing though I will start after Thanksgiving. In that way, I have the last chance to hang out with my whole family/relatives. Yeah, last chance for this year =( since they're all going home in the Philippines for Christmas and New Year. I pray to God to help me get through this, that this opportunity will help me undergo a successful metamorphosis to grow into a beautiful and mature butterfly... that it would not become a painful experience as I imagined it to be. Rather it is one, in which I would enjoy. I really hope that I can gain friends, learn to trust people, be a caring nurse in such a way that my Alma Mater has molded me, and most of all I can still smile and laugh. Finally in the next months and for the following years, I hope to hear myself say "Where I am now, I feel fulfilled and happy."

Saturday mania

2006-10-29T20:37:00.000-05:00

Today marks the end of the Daylight Saving Time. Well it was at 2:00 in the morning specifically. That means that we turned our clocks back by one hour this morning. Whew! We were in downtown clubbing then, and it's funny that the time seemed to tick so slow, haha! Talking about spending an extra hour there.. Thanks to the DST!

There was a cold front too last night, and I didn't have any idea about it until I went out of the car in the parking lot in Riverfront. Gaad, it was freezing, like around 50+ degrees Fahrenheit. My friends and I were like, "Seriously, are we in South Florida?!!" Haha! Sean and I even uttered it simultaneously. "May be we're in Chicago or in New York?!!" Lol. Yeah seriously, it was windy and cold, but it was good. I love a weather like that. It's just that it would be much better only if I didn't don a mini skirt or may be if I brought a blazer or something, just to cover up myself. Lucky were those who were in their Halloween costumes (since it was the Halloween nights & people put on their best costumes). Oh but not really though, because a lot still showed their skins too, especially the ladies. The ones who were lucky were those who wore big layers of clothes. But we still had a blast! We got rid of the coldness once we were inside the clubs. Each bar was so crowded but it was so much fun! We hopped about 5 to 6 bars. Music was good. There were a lot of cute guys to check out too! Wehehe. Right Sherrein?! And my cousin had this guts then to ask them for poses with us, because of the "It's all because of the alcohol" effect. That was really funny! ;-)

And for an added FYI, it was our (Sherrein's and mine) first Halloween party here being 21. Last year there was the Hurricane Wilma, so we were stuck at home because of the curfew. Two years ago, we were just 20 and although we have gone to Las Olas too, we couldn't get in the bars. And so here finally!!! It feels so great! haha!

Whew! What an amazing Saturday! We attended a wedding in the morning until the afternoon, then watched a football game with friends & cousins (even if I don't have a clue on how the football game goes), then a Halloween party at night til dawn. Ahhh, parties... I have missed this life. You know, dressing up, going out, having friends to hang out with. My arms and legs are hurting right now, and so are my feet.. And I kinda lost my voice. I wonder why I always tend to lose my voice everytime I go out with my friends to a club. Well not necessarily a club, but it usually happens when I'm having a good time. It's not that I'm shouting our something. Hmm, I might be.. and I just don't notice it. hahaha! But it's fine, the important thing is I enjoyed dancing the night away! Good times..

Here are a few of the pictures...

Today Sunday, I didn't go to the church with my family, coz it was too early - they heard mass at 10AM, and I slept at around 6AM. Instead, I went to the church alone at 5 in the afternoon. Then it's good that my cousin was there too, so it was all great.

Three things

2006-10-24T12:10:00.000-04:00

It's just Tuesday, yet I already have three things that I should be happy about for this week...
So far...

1. I got my work permit yesterday, Monday

- Yes, I received the envelope that contained my Employment Authorization Card. Finally right?! Finally, I have an Alien number and I can legally work. I'm off to the real world!

2. I have applied for my Social Security number today

- SSN is another requirement in order to work, for tax purposes. I'll get my SSN card in about 2 weeks. It will be mailed to me. Good thing that the line a while ago wasn't that long. I got attended in about 15 minutes.

*So with the work permit and SSN, I can claim my Florida Nursing license. May be in a month, I can get it, then start. I just have to inform my employer. Ha! It's exciting, yet scary. Actually, if I can request, I prefer that I'll just attend classes first for this year 2006, talking about completing the ACLS, BLS and ECG classes, so that it will be one step at a time, plus the holidays are coming. It scares me to death that I will be drowning myself immediately during those special occasions. Hence I really hope that I will just start with the real duties by January, so that it will be really a new year for me.

3. It's my Mom's 50th birthday today!!!

- GOLDEN year for my mom! She deserves to celebrate, which we did last Saturday (details in the previous entry). Since it's her birthday, I'd like to dedicate a piece of gratitude for her.

Well, my mom's the coolest and the best! (Of course each of us loves our own moms.) I really admire my mom for her hardwork for all of us. She has sacrificed a lot just to give us our needs & wants. Her love for us overflows that we won't be standing where we are now without it... without her. Seldom can you see moms and daughters who are very close with each other, and I'm so proud that we are among those. I mean I am the daughter who is an open book with my mom. Disclosing my dreams to her and sharing my colorful life and its escapades is not that hard. It makes the bond tighter. We also definitely shop together! Yeah, it's our passion, our therapy to this stressful world. My mom and I even share some clothes and shoes. Same taste!!! Yep, she doesn't look like 50 at all. She's game for what's in. She feels young and loving it. I so love my mom, that I wanna be in her place someday. I want to be as successful as her, a nurse so loving and caring, a wife so understanding, and a mother so cool!

I can't thank God enough for giving me a very loving mother.
Thanks to you Ma. We love you! Have a happy birthday filled with love!

amiable week

2006-10-22T15:25:00.000-04:00

Friendship week ~ Hmm.. that's the name I would give for this amiable week I had. Why? For the reason that I had surprised myself that I was able to talk to my closest friends (the barkada and the like) in Manila. Well, let's include my friends here in the States too, I mean I was so glad that I got to talk to my Chicago & Florida friends again, coz it's been a while too since we've updated ourselves of what's happening with each of us. Add to those list of friends, of course, my family and relatives, coz yep we have hung out too recently!

******
Okay, first and foremost, it's one of my kabarkada's (Liway's) birthday last Thursday, and her having a swimming party in her house was an opportunity to have conversed with most of my friends. Yup, I called them! *smiles* Ahhhh, it really felt good to hear from them, especially from Winnie, Angge and Jonats, whom I haven't talked to, for like forever. All of them seem working on their way to go here in US (Angge in Canada) - you know NCLEX stuffs and the like. I couldn't help but to get excited for them and so I convinced them a spoonful of optimism in their endeavors.

My college barkada/friends

Oh but there's this thing... I felt awfully surprised with what was said to me by one of my friends. When I told her/him, "Hey, I'm happy since I don't have to go home in Manila anymore, that I can already stay here because my petition has been filed," I didn't expect her/him to react in such a way that she/he would say, "Mabuti ba yun na hindi ka na uuwi dito? So hindi ka na talaga uuwi dito?" Well I don't really understand what she/he means by that, but with those words I felt that she/he isn't happy with the fact that sooner or later I can start working here. It's weird because all of my friends, but she/he, are glad that my staying here for good is a way closer to my dreams; and all of them too, but she/he, could envy me that I'm here already. Oh well, let's just say that she/he just reacts that way because nationalism is important. hehehe. (babawi naman ako balang araw eh.) But all I was just expecting from that talk was a supportive friend, who would feel glad as I am to what has turned out to be. And really for me, career and family-wise, staying here would be better. But hey, don't think that I'm mad with her/him, coz I'm not. Actually I realized I shouldn't be surprised at all, ganun lang pala talaga yun. hehe. Labo ba! Basta yun na yun.

******
My mom celebrated her 50th birthday yesterday (her birthday is on Oct. 24 though). A lot of visitors came, about 70-100 may be. It was a big party because it's her golden, so that means there's lot of foods... Filipino/Chinese/Italian foods. There's Palabok, Seafood linguine, Lumpia Shanghai, Lumpia Fresh, Chinese mixed vegetables, Menudo, Beef Steak, Steamed sweet and sour fish, Turkey (kaldereta way of cooking), Empanada, Rice, and the best of all... lechon, hehehe!

Two little pigs, hwehehe

Then the desserts were really good. I made a refrigerator cake. There's sapin-sapin, puto, suman, macaroni salad, brownies, fruit punch with almond jelly, too, then a variety of fruits, then my mom's 2-layered cake.

Awesome wasn't it? Actually, I haven't tasted everything. Hindi na kinaya ng bituka ko. hehe. There were a few leftovers, so for this coming week, I'm sure we would just be binging on the same viands.

It's great that my friends Dianne, Ate Carla and Janh partied with us too, so I wasn't bored at all. It was fun hanging out with them. We never ran out of things to talk. Moreover, several of my mom's friends (I really forgot who they were when they were talking to me) said hi and asked me about my status here, if I am working already. There's the same set of questions and of course I have the same set of answers. Lol. I just told them that I'm still waiting for my work permit.

Janh, Kat, Ate Carla and Dianne

Fun times with cousins too. My cousins Ate Marlo and Kuya Rudy (who have been married for 10 months already) announced that they bought a house. Boy, I initially thought they were having a baby, haha! Sayang! But I'm soo happy for them that finally they have bought one and it's still here in FL. At least no one is moving out of FL yet. (it's gonna be me who's goin to be the first one.. na-ah. just kidding) So there, we had a family picture before everyone went home. I can't wait til Thanksgiving (a month from now pa) to have another party with the family.

Cousins...

Family...
So that's my week... I hope to have another great week again ahead of me. Kayo din! Take care! :)

Medical matters

2006-10-17T19:29:00.000-04:00

Wow! I had a great weekend! I was in love... again!!! hahaha! with Grey's anatomy. Naku po, I can't stop myself from watching it, that even if it's late at night already, I would go to Blockbuster just to rent. Yep, Blockbuster has all the DVDs of Seasons 1 and 2. Good thing, my mom has subscribed into a promo ever since, where we can borrow 2 DVDs at a time, unlimited. So my weekend indeed was busy, with me seating on the couch, laughing, giggling, shedding a tear or two with my new love! haha. And of course with my family, helping my parents run some errands. But I wasn't done with the Season 2 yet. I think there are four more DVDs to watch. May be tomorrow or on the weekends again.. I bothered to postpone watching the Grey's since today is the release of the new DVDs. That's why I picked American Dreamz and The break-up instead a while ago. I haven't watched those in the movies, so I better catch them up.

*****

I would really want to go to med school. I mean it's my dream since I was small, being influenced greatly by my dad. Even when I was in college as a nursing student, I looked up to those med students and even wished that someday I would be wearing a white uniform too with a nameplate that has an M.D. embossed on it. But for some reasons and unexpected circumstances, the plans changed, shattered and I haven't minded it at all.

Lately, I've been thinking if it would still be practical for me to take up Medicine. I want to, but look at this. According to the timeline I've set, if I would really pursue, that's gonna happen in year 2009 (because I have to finish my 2-year contract in the hospital as an RN). I would rather get my green card first before anything else, for security reasons & for my future too if worse comes to worst. The thing is, it worries me that I'm 25 years old already at that time! It's 4 years in Med, plus there's a year internship, plus 2 years Residency. Geez, I'm too old when I'm done - 32 years old. Wahhhh! Then add to that if I'd specialize still. Of course, I would! So come to think of it, I'm this doctor who's just about to start her life by age 32 or 34! It's not right, is it?

Well yeah, we can say that it isn't that bad if I finish it on my 30's. But what I'm also considering is may be I will miss a lot. Talking about risking those 7++ years. Being in med school is not a joke. I mean I would subject myself into "devouring volumes and volumes of books voraciously" as quoted by my classmate Ed, and also engage into sleepless nights. TOXICITY would set in again.

Looking at the other side of the coin though, I can travel, go to parties, be with friends, families and loved ones, be stable as a nurse, buy my own house, focus on establishing my own family, etc... Oh yeah, that's another thing, baka hindi na ako makakapag-asawa kung puro aral na lang, diba? Ayoko naman maging single forever. Tsaka gusto ko pang magka-anak noh, nang walang complications or anything ( kase medyo high risk na rin kung mga 35 years old ka na magka-baby) hehehe. May expiration kase ang egg cells ng mga babae. hahaha!

Another thing, too, will be the cost of going to med school. If I would take it here in US, I have to loan and I fear that I'll be in debt after graduation. Going back to the Philippines, though, will be an intelligent and practical option, but then I would be too old, since first year med students there are like 19 (Intarmed) or 21 years old, as compared to me who will be like 25. But if I'll be granted a chance to enter UP Med, oh my... I would not mind or even thought for a second! hahaha! Well not a chance siguro, kase babae ako so dapat 1.75 and above (dapat cum laude) ang GWA ko tsaka the competition is just too much. Ewan, let's just see. Besides, there's no harm in trying and I know that my grade is not too far from the boundaries.

Hayyy.. It's hard to make a decision, really, especially if your life would be greatly affected by it. There's a lot of consequences and we have to weigh the pros and cons first. As for me, for now, I still don't know what to do. I just pray that God will be the one to let me know what's best for me, that he'll make me decide smartly. Basta, I'll just try to take NMAT and MCAT a year or two from now, and try applying to the schools, kung kaya ng powers ko. Then may be I'll get a sign. And since 2009 will be like 3 long years from now, I know plans could still change. A lot of things will happen. People change. People can influence me. I may like my work already that I don't want to leave my comfort zone anymore. We'll see. At least that time, I know that I am more mature than what I am now.

I got hooked!

2006-10-13T22:54:00.000-04:00

Ahhh! I'm so hooked with Grey's Anatomy! Kilig then nakakarelate ako sympre kase medical stuffs yung pinag-uusapan. Lalo tuloy akong nagiging determined magpursue ng med.. Hay sana nakapagNMAT ako dati. kase naman, di ko alam bakit di ko naasikaso. hehe. Sobrang interesting and exciting kase tsaka ang daming matututunan... well pag-iipunan ko muna yun, may be after two-three years, we'll see. Age doesn't matter naman sa pagiging doctor, lalo na dito.

Anyways, I just watched the Episode "What I Am"(Season 3 Episode 4). There's this scene where McSteamy entered the hospital and everyone just gazed at him. His assignment there presented curiosity, shock, anger and excitement. Lalo tuloy hindi makafocus si Addison.

Oh yeah, Meredith had an appendicitis. At first, they thought she was pregnant haha! Anyways, there was this scene where both Finn and Derek were there inside Meredith's room while she was induced with Morphine & other pre-op meds. And since Meredith was on dose, it was funny that she was out of her mind, just talking non-sense. Well it was not nonsense at all, it was just she didn't realize that she was like revealing a lot of things. Hahaha!

Then there's a scene too that Finn and Derek were alone and they got to talk about Meredith. Finn pointed out that Meredith has been really open with him and not with Derek. So Derek was like, "ohh.." then he told Finn that he seems a good guy.

And here came the very most nakakagigil scene - when Derek was alone with Meredith after the operation (she was back on her senses now), he told Meredith that she deserves Finn. He said Finn is a "better guy" and that "you deserve to be with somebody who won't hurt you. I'm walking away." (He was actually influenced by what Dr. Webber told him earlier when he was asked by Derek why he left Meredith's mom. Dr. Webber had said, "I was a better man to walk away.") So yeah, he told Meredith that she would just be hurt in the end, because with him (Derek), things are very much complicated! Ahhhhh! nakakainis! So syempre Meredith was sooo sad and disappointed and she felt like crying! Derek then went out of the room.

When Finn returned there, and after sometime thinking about it, Meredith told him that she chooses Derek. *Kilig! haha!* She sort of like said, "You're a great guy. You could be the better one...But.." Yeah, Meredith knows that Finn can be the better guy, and she knows that she can be hurt in the end, but she still wanna risk it. Hayyyy... So Finn was of course disappointed and said, "You know he will just hurt you and when that happens, I'm not gonna be there.." sort of like that... So yeah, Finn was dumped.

Hay grabe! May be it's just like that sometimes... that even though you already know that you're just goin to be hurt in the end in a complicated situation, but if you really love the person, you will risk everything. Ganun nga talaga siguro pag love. Hayyyyy.... Sooo.. i'm just gonna wait for the next episode. I can hardly wait actually! haha! Sana bawiin na ni Derek yung sinabi nyang magbaback-out sya!

I really would like to watch the Seasons 1 & 2. Ngayon lang talaga kase akong na-hook! Sana may ma-rent ako sa blockbuster at nang sa ganun magpapakasawa akong manood ng mga namiss ko! Marami-rami yun... =)

fair day & yesterday

2006-10-12T11:46:00.000-04:00

Today marks the expiration of my driver's license. It's sad that my ID has no validity anymore, that I couldn't send my sister to school this morning. Well, I can't do anything about it but to give it away. I wish I could keep it, but I can't. It's gonna be thrown to the trash, then be recycled. Yeah, that's what happened this morning. I surrendered my expired driver's license.... for a new one!!! hahaha! Gotcha! Yesss my dears, I can actually renew it. Remember my previous rants about how am I gonna survive the next three months without a driver's license? That I'm goin to be stuck here at home, doing nothing? Ha! I was totally wrong. I received the documents or receipts of my adjustment of status papers from the lawyers yesterday, and those are the ones needed in order to renew my license. I'm so grateful that I can actually do that! So early this morning, my dad drove me to the DMV and renew it. I have now a temporary driver's license (on a paper again! sucks i know, but it's better to have it than nothing else), which is valid for 30 days, then the formal driver's license will be mailed within a month. I hope the validity of that license is no longer 6 months, but 1 year. So yeah I'm happy that I don't have to let my dad or sister drive me when I need to go out.

******
Last night, my mom and her colleagues celebrated a baby shower in their hospital. My mom brought me along. She toured me around her unit (telemetry), the one where she is the charged nurse. I found myself to be really scrutinizing the place, the machines, the rooms, and somehow having myself taking a peek of the patients. Yeah! There was a longing for me to work already. I'm getting more excited actually, and I miss the smell of the hospital. Well the smell here is good! I mean compared to PGH! haha!

Anyways, it was an opportunity also for me to learn, especially it was also a telemetry unit (which will be my unit in Mt. Sinai most probably). So whatever questions that pop my head, about the hospital stuffs, I asked my mom about them, like the telemetry monitors, how do they do their charting. My my my.. It's really different in here, so very high-tech! They're all computerized, and it's way easier. For instance, with regards to giving their medications. They have push carts that contain every patients' meds. The carts consist of several drawers, wherein each has the patient's name and bed number. Then at the top of every cart is a laptop, where the patients' meds are registered. Whenever you take away a med from the cart, you have to scan it in a little censor which is also attached to the cart. Then once you have given the medication, you also have to scan the wristband of the patient (the one that has his name on it). See, this is really a good strategy for avoiding medical errors, and that you will be ensured that you have given every medication that is required for that patient.

Moving forward to the party itself, I was the only one who's not employed there, but I don't feel out of place, because I know they're all my colleagues. They were amazed when they learned that I am an RN too and got more stupefied upon knowing that I'm already 22! hahaha! They thought I was just 18 (naks naman!) haha. Well, I guess we Filipinos have a secret of how to look young huh.

My mom's colleagues are Americans and Indians. Of course there are Filipinos too, but they weren't there last night. Oh yeah the Indian nurses arrived wearing their native dresses. I forgot what they're called. I think sari. haha. I don't know, I forgot. But they look good in them, then they have the red marks on their foreheads.

Anyways, since it's a potluck, my mom brought a tray of empanadas.. chicken empanadas. So good! She ordered them from her Filipina colleague too, and everyone had liked them. Most of the visitors were Indians, since the one who had the baby shower was an Indian. So what would you expect then, but for the foods to be Indian cuisine. Yes yes! It was my first time to get a taste of Indian foods, and they weren't bad at all. Yeah, actually I liked them. It's just the ones that they brought were mostly rice, and I'm not that fond of eating that much rice, because I get full with it easily. But hey, they're good! One was a fried rice with different spices on them. Then the other was a rice mixed with chicken and different spices (this one was a little spicy but it's good.. I mean it's tolerable!). I was like eating an international cuisine there, because there was also an Italian Zitti. So to sum it up, I ended up being full, because I have tasted almost everything. I have this love for tasting food wherein I am not that afraid to try whatever it is on the table, except for the native exotic foods (the intestines, snakes, insects - I'm NO NO for those! hehe)

******

Today is my last day of my first week of tutoring my 2 students. Ha! There's a lot to tell about those two kids. Sometimes I can feel that I can get a high blood with them, because they're sooo makulit and they would try to manipulate me. But then I have always learned from our Psychiatric Nursing to never allow your patients to manipulate you, that I have to set limits. Then there are times that they will argue to me that my answer is wrong. hayayay.. I just have to control my temper and not argue with them because they are kids. So here comes the nurse trying to be therapeutic and just continue to explain how the answers came out to be the way they are supposed to be. Nonetheless I'm enjoying teaching them, because I also learn a lot in dealing with them. I'm grateful too because I'm able to help them in their homeworks. My student Matthew even got a 100% in his Reading test the other day, and it's an accomplishment for my part too, because I have helped him to finish the book with him understanding it by heart. For the next weeks that I'm going to be dealing with them, I know there will be more challenge, but one thing that I can say now is that it's really hard to be a mother... disciplining the children and all. I mean to be a mom is a really noble job to do. So for now, I don't wanna be a mom yet. hehehe.

blabber, blabber

2006-10-08T21:23:00.001-04:00

I just wanna blabber about something that I may say "good" that just happened to me. The other night, I was chatting with my friend Alex in YM. Then it came to a point when we were discussing about the status of our petition here as RN's in US. Alex, by the way, is my kabarkada who's in Chicago and had been my classmate the whole four years in college. It's just pretty amazing that our petition papers run at the same pace. I mean, after his was filed, two days after it was my turn. Then the other day, he told me that he just had his biometrics that same morning. So I asked him what was that all about. To realize, those actually refer to the fingerprinting and the picture taking for the USCIS to complete the processing. We, applicants, would receive a mail from the USCIS, one that will inform us of our specific schedule to have the biometrics taken in the office within our respective state. Hence I told him that there was no sign of any mail yet for me. Then surprisingly he began to babble about his presentiment that my letter's going to arrive in my mailbox the next day. And I just laughed at him, telling him "Yeah right! Why, who are you, a psychic?" He ignored me and spoke as if he was really serious about it, kept insisting me that I check the day after, because he really has a strong intuition with it. So I yielded to his favor, but still I was just laughing about it, and I didn't believe him.

Not until the next day...

When I woke up, I scanned the dining table for any signs of mail, but no one had gotten those letters out from the mailbox yet. So I went outside, got the letters. There's plenty of them, that I couldn't find one for me while browsing them as I went inside the house. Then one by one, I checked the recipient's name and I was just dumbfounded when I recognized a small envelope from the USCIS! hahaha! Yeah there was really one for me! I was laughing my ass off, and I sounded like a fool hollering at my dad who was in the kitchen, that "OMG, Alex was a psychic! Alex was right!" I know my dad was bewildered about my reaction, so I explained everything to him. Yeah so I was glad that I received my biometric's schedule already and it's really WAY TO GO!!! YIPEE!!! Oh I called Alex after that, and he just kept teasing me, "See? I told you!" I kidded around telling him that I'm going to consult him to foretell me the imminent things that would come along my way, such as my lovelife, hahaha!

*****

Oh yeah, speaking about lovelife, I think I'm so not for it right now. Yeah, I mean, honestly, I don't wanna date anyone for the moment or go out... Haha! May be when I'm quite stable with a work already. I'd like to be focused first to what's in store for me, career-wise. I'd like to save too, financially-wise, 'coz dating now does not really mean that a guy has to do all the expenses. And most importantly, I don't want to be involved as of now. It's like I'm not in the mood of entertaining. I get tired of crying too, which happens if some expectations turned out to be otherwise... and I'd like to take a big break for a while. Lovelife sometimes is just a pain in the ass. I know it shouldn't be that way. Yes, in many ways it inspires us, makes us giggle; but there comes a time that it gives us worries. I know, i know, you'll say it's really a part of the relationship.. Yeah, I understand that it's inevitable. But the thing is, what if you're still not in THE relationship? I mean problems arise already while you're still on the process of dating, the process where you don't have any commitment yet. Some things get complicated. So you see? I've been there.. That's why I don't want to crush myself into that at the moment, 'coz I'm simply not yet ready. So to my suitors out there and those who would like to try (as if there are! Asa! haha!), date other girls first... Just get back to me later on, Lol!!! But feel free to send me gifts, such as flowers, chocolates, anything.. be it internationally or locally! My sisters and brother would surely eat those chocolates. hahaha! Anything, they will be really appreciated. =) Kidding aside, yeah my heart needs healing right now. Not that I'm torn, not that it beats for someone that I can't be with. I promise you I'm over with my past relationships. It's just that I'm not ready to fall again or subject myself to anyone that I might fall for... simple as that. I'm gonna put everything in place first, then I'm surely going back to that, because I tell you I'm a person who dreams of having a family of her own too, someday. Hey, I'm just 22.. still young. Aright, let's be happy!

nakakatamad na nakakatuwa

2006-10-06T14:33:00.000-04:00

Nakakatamad ang araw ngayon. Biyernes na biyernes, pero wala akong balak gawin mamayang gabi. Hayyy.. Nagluto pala kami ng mom ko ng palabok! Yumyum! Tumulong ako sa kanya, kase gusto ko rin matuto. Madali lang pala eh, sus! hehe. Basta eh gamit ang Mama Sita's. Tapos gumawa pa kami ng fruit cocktail with almond jelly, at may ginawa ring kaldereta ang daddy ko kanina. Ang dami nga ng pagkain eh. Nakakainis kase kumain na ako kanina ng lunch (yung kaldereta na may kasamang kanin pa, tapos yung left over na peking duck). Di ko naman alam na magluluto kami ng palabok. hehe. Nakakasira tuloy ng diyeta, dapat di na ako nagkanin kanina. Haha! Oh well, para sa merienda/dinner na lang yung iba.

Ano ba ang magandang gawin ngayon? Promise, nakakatamad. Baka magswimming na lang ako maya-maya, tutal maaraw pa naman. Hindi ko pa ramdam na fall season na. Parang summer pa rin, hehe. Tapos kapag magwiwinter na, baka magkakasakit ako nito, sa sobrang pag-adjust sa klima, kase malamang eh sa Chicago na ako magpapasko. Eh hello, may snow kaya dun diba, tapos malamigin talaga akong tao at madaling sipunin. Pero alam kong magiging masaya kase White Christmas. Tsaka Pasko yun eh. Yup, the fact na Pasko nakakaexcite, hehe. Labo ba? Pero di nga, kase 'pag naririnig ko yung mga kanta eh nakaka-uplift ng spirit, tapos nakikita mo yung mga bahay na maliwanag sa gabi dahil sa mga decors and lights. Basta masaya lang. Wala pa namang mga Christmas songs dito ngayon. Sana nga meron na eh. Malamang mga November pa. Pero diba sa Pilipinas, mga October pa lang eh sobrang ramdam mo na na magpapasko na. Sa radyo ipinatutugtog na nila yung mga kanta. Sa mall may mga decors na rin.

Nga pala, magiging tutor ulit ako!!! Yepyep, yun yung nahanap kong sideline. Sa wakas meron na ulit, para may pera na ako sa Pasko. Well ok naman, kase talagang magaan sa loob ko ang pagtuturo, lalo na sa mga bata. Isang grade 4 at isang grade 6 ang tuturuan ko, mga lalaki. Apat na araw sa isang linggo at apat na oras sa isang araw. Naisip ko, eto rin yung ginawa ko noong nakaraang taon, sa isang high school student nga lang at sa isang subject lang - Algebra. Pero ngayon, all around - Math, Language Arts, Science and History. Tutulungan ko sila sa mga assignments nila, kase may mga trabaho yung mga magulang nila at pagdating sa bahay eh pagod na.

Nakakatuwa nga rin kase pumunta ako sa kanila kahapon at nameet ko sila. Ok na ok yung family, at nagustuhan kaagad ako ng mga bata. Hindi katulad nung nakaraang taon, dahil highschool na yung bata, parang nagka-low self-esteem sya nung kinunan sya ng mommy nya ng tutor. So ayun, sa Lunes na nga ako magsisimula. Nakakatuwa sila lalo na si Matthew, yung grade 4, kase sabi nya bakit sa Lunes pa raw ako babalik at hindi ngayong araw. Hehe. Masaya at nakuha ko kaagad ang kanyang tiwala. Sana makontrol ko sila, kase hyper sila. Pero base sa dryrun namin kahapon, madali naman silang turuan at nakukuha kaagad nila, kaya sana di ako mahihirapan.

O siya, lalangoy muna ako at para makapagexercise na rin. Ingat ang lahat! =)

being a scapegoat

2006-10-03T08:14:00.000-04:00

Five days ago, I checked my Yahoo inbox, and to my surprise there was this e-mail address from a stranger with a subject "PSST...." So I opened it and it was a hate e-mail. She was accusing me of flirting to a taken person, more probably with her boyfriend. I was like, "WHATTT?" She said, "baka sumaya ka pa ulit ha, katrina. magtira ka naman ng kahihiyan sa sarili mo & MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" Gaaad, what the heck is she talking about? I replied of course, I would not let myself be thought of as a coward, and in the first place, I don't really have any single clue as to what she's been saying to me.

In my first reply I was calm, because it might be a wrong sent e-mail. She might meant a different Katrina, and I wasn't even used to be known as Katrina in UP Manila. I am always called there as Kating. Oh by the way, she was from UP Manila too, a graduate of the College of Pharmacy specifically, because her e-mail address bears uppharm along with her initials. But I don't know her. So I searched for her in friendster, and I found her, but I have to satisfy myself with her small primary picture because her profile is exclusive for her closely connected-friends. But still I can recognize her and I realized that I haven't met or known such girl.

Going back to my first reply, I asked her if she's sure that I am the Katrina that she's referring to, and I even pointed out to her if how would I flirt and with whom, because I'm here in the States and I'm being discrete the whole time.

Last night I found myself reading her next reply, but this one really made me sick. I really thought she was mistaken, but her reply was this, "i know. andyan ka nga sa florida to flirt, diba? katrina espanol, ikaw nga! di ko alam kung bakit hindi succesful ang lovelife mo pero sana di ka maghanap ng idadamay. ako din nanahimik pero ikaw nang-iistorbo. i need not elaborate more on this."

After reading that, I pressed the Reply button and began typing. It was so unfair, being accused and being thought of something that you are not. I emphasized to her that I'm here in Florida to find a work and to be with my family and NOT to flirt, that I don't have time for that flirting things that she keeps on telling me, because my priority is my family and to be able to have the job and established career. I asked her, "Sino ba ang boyfriend mo in the first place, and in what way kita iniistorbo?" She really needs to elaborate on that beause I have no idea with it, and I'm not acting like a fake innocent, because I am really innocent with it. Damn! I even told her to watch out the words that she's using, and she should be wary of the things she's been saying all along, that she makes sure that she says them right. And how would I flirt here and with whom? I don't even have guy friends here to flirt with in the first place. I mean I'm always at home, then the guys that I know are just my cousins, my brother, my dad, uncles, and some family friends that I am not even really close with. Ugghh, my blood pressure was reaching its peak.

Furthermore, I told her not to dare talk about my lovelife and not to dare say that it's not successful. Having no boyfriend at the moment does not entail that one's lovelife is not successful. I mean I'm happy with my status now and I'm not looking. Besides, she doesn't have any idea what I had been thru to just simply blurt that out, and I really told her that I had been happy with my past relationships, so she has no right to say what she has said; and that she should first decipher every word that she's about to tell me before uttering it.

She's too much. I can't handle her. Before pressing the send button, I checked her friendster profile again, and her primary picture this time was a shot of her with her boyfriend. I just laughed, because I don't even know who the guy is. Hahaha! I consulted my friend Max about this, and he told me that there may be another Katrina with the same surname as mine, but I said "Nope.. The girl even checked my friendster profile too." The heck right? I texted some of my friends too about her, and they told me that they don't know her. I just burst into a laugh when they told me, "Maganda ka kase, baka may crush sayo yung boyfriend nya." haha! Sigh. I think I said enough to the girl after I told her, "By the way, I just saw your friendster's primary pic and yung baby/boyfriend mo, di ko kilala.."

Let's wait and see then, if she would still reply. Some things are just crazy, that you don't even know that someone hates you already. Well at least this girl informed me, but it's just that it was ALL wrong... She hated me for the wrong senseless reason.

Idle, idler, idlest

2006-09-30T20:23:00.000-04:00

I'm quite lost these past few days. Or may be I'm just being impatient. My idle moments were spent on thinking about how bored I am, that I still have three months to spare before I can finally work. Well, cross your fingers with me that by January 2007, I'll be able to start working legally in the hospital... (Thanks for that! *smiles*) But yes, three more months - October, November and December of I-don't-know-what-to-do-coz-I'm-so-bored. What am I gonna do on those months? I cannot be the family driver anymore like I have been for the past few months, because unfortunately, the expiration of my Florida driver's license is just 11 days away from this date. If you ask why, it's due to the fact that my entry here in US is supposed to be just until the 11th of October, so the term given to me (in my driver's license) has been based all along from that.

By the way, I haven't updated everyone that my petition as an RN was finally filed to the immigration last week (YEYYY!!!), so I'm not going home anymore in the Philippines come this Oct. 5. On the other hand, my plane ticket to Manila will no longer be useful. I have a choice to have it rescheduled before this Oct.5, but I should fly on or before April 11, 2007. However, I chose to cancel it (unfortunately it cannot be refunded), because I have to pay around $250 for the rescheduling, and I don't wanna risk that, since I'm quite sure I couldn't come back there by April 2007, once I already start with the employment.

Going back to my being in the state of boredom, it reached me a point this week to call and e-mail some of my friends and relatives here in the States, those that reside in New York, Texas, Chicago, and of course here in Florida. I solicited their help if they know some sidelines that I can have (mga side-kicks, hehe). Who knows, they know someone and I'm willing to see some options. Actually I prefer either in New York or Chicago because those are the states I know that provide the best access to public transportation, like subways and buses, because as I have said my driver's license is soon expiring.

Several of them responded. My tita in Texas told me to hang on for another three months. She said that I did it for six months, why not three more. Well it's because those six months had been busy. Imagine, I arrived here April 11, 2006. April 11-17, I was there in Texas for the holy week. April 26 - it's my birthday, and that was also the time I had received my Authorization to test (ATT) for NCLEX. So, for the entire May, it was review time for the state board exam. June 1st - I took the exam and I passed *smiles*. The next step was taking the IELTS by June 29, which I passed too *smiles again*. So come to think of it, May and June were pretty toxic months for me to finish all the exams I needed.

On the other hand, July consisted of summer days. That meant vacation days in Orlando with the family. Then the rest of the month were spent finding for a job, having interviews with the employer, and getting really psych about the job offers.

August had been more fun, with the first two weeks being occupied by my application for the VisaScreen and the medical exam errands. My cousins were here, so we have gone to the clubs and to the beach. The last two weeks comprised of my trip to Chicago and the hangover I had with the latter. By far, it was the best month among the six that I had here in the States since April!

September seemed to be just fine. Time was consumed by my following up for my VisaScreen and settling the paperworks with the lawyer for the petition. I had also been sending and picking up my siblings to and from their schools. So whatever it is, I had been doing something for this month. What's best in this September too was the most-awaited filing of my petition, as I've said above; and with that it made me more optimistic to the 90%, that I can receive my working visa, before the year ends. Again, that will be if God permits it to happen.

Okay, okay... I'm sorry for stretching you too far by my flashbacks, but stay with me. Are you still here with me? hehe. I hope so. Anyways, going back, my friends in Chicago also gave their options that I can stay there with them too until January. But they have to ask still if they can offer me something. I might do what Alex has been doing. I can't help but get excited because if ever I'd choose to go there, then I can spend winter there and not be lonely at all when my whole family go home in the Philippines by Christmas. My mother by the way gave her yes to me so I'm just waiting for the go signal of my friends.

New York is being considered too, but my relatives discouraged me because it's complicated to find options there and what might they offer me might turn out to be depressing in the end. Then I was also thinking that I am not really close with my relatives there (my second degree relatives), and my cousins there are not with my age group. Hmmm, but still, there are times that I wanna risk it, because I wouldn't know unless I'll try, right? hehe. There must be some adventure here, and I'd like to savor one. It would help me to become more independent and be more ready for the upcoming job by January. It would be a warm-up. Hehe.

Here in Florida, I asked a friend. I haven't met him in person yet, only his parents. He's a Filipino too, and I just took chances by asking him thru YM if he can help. He replied fortunately, and asked me a while ago if he can contact me so he can give the details on what he has gathered. Wow, he's pretty fast and that's a good sign. So for now, I'll just wait for his call. I hope it would be a good option, so that I wouldn't have to leave FL to keep me occupied for the three months. Nevertheless, I am still determined that I'll spend my Christmas in another state, with friends. My choices? -- Chicago (with my college classmates), Texas (with my Tita) or Maryland (with Via). Oh, let's add Connecticut (with family friends that I already miss. The last time I saw them was in 1999. That was in Dec too, and Christmas there with bunch of Filipinos was amazing!)

So there, I'll just update you what would happen next. Well if none of these works, then I guess the least that I can do is just wait... again! I hope it wouldn't be that bad as I often think it would be. I'll just look forward to the 50th birthday of my mom, on Oct. 24th (the party is on the 21st), a wedding party of a friend on the 26th I think, then Halloween on Oct. 31st. On the month of November, it's Thanksgiving of course, then Christmas season on December. Yeah, I know it's not that bad. Actually I have another reason why I need to do something. I told you Christmas is just two months away! I need some $$$!!! hahaha!!! That's the other side of the coin, I admit. And trust me, it gets boring lately. I'm so bored, so bored, so bored! I can't drive soon, and I have to find a way to get out of the house. Yeah, I'm not the type of person who can stay in the house for days doing absolutely nothing. I must be productive you know.

Okay, Adios for now! =)

In a state of coma

2006-09-25T11:32:00.000-04:00

To relinquish a thing that has value is an arduous task, but in life there are moments that one has no choice but to unleash. The mortal then becomes acquainted to it that her heart does not know any longer how the hurting feels. The face can show grimace or a smile, yet it must be scrutinized with caution for her expression can launch a thousand words. It is also full of uncertainties. The impulse her heart tries to undulate beat by beat remains to be a mere prerequisite to still be in life. But unknowingly, it is dead; it is no longer sensitive... or it just chooses not to.

In a piece of time though, she will be arousable, rising up from the state of coma, and begin to savor the world, again. Yet a distinctive scar is left and there remains the fear of not being able to go back to where life has begun. Reservations fill her up. Inevitably and much worse, there will be resistance to the various medicament consumed, depending on the ability of the mind and heart to cope with the dubiety that takes over her. An inclination to artificial devices may even serve significant to process the once unsevered heart.

But then again, in spite of everything, she can rebuild herself in the fullest she wants it to be. It is her choice how contentment will suffice her expectations. Then finally it will be a Renaissance.

not too late at all

2006-09-21T15:30:00.000-04:00

There comes a time that I just sit and think that I fear each day as it passes me by... pondering about the endless worries that clog my mind. If you cast a light on me, in one way or another, you may see me thru my shadow that I'm a lucky duck. But there is no day that I don't feel useless, especially now that there are things holding me back. But then the sun won't set down seeing my numb facade. It keeps on shining until I realize that I got something to be happy about this day, one or two things that I am to be grateful of. Then his rays start to recede knowing that he made it on time. Pleasant surprises come my way and I can't thank God enough for His lovely blessings. Sometimes you don't have to necessarily wait for a miracle to happen, because it always occurs, continuously. You just have to feel it and see it for yourself. Thank you sunshine maker for not being late at all... yeah not at all!

I so love my family

2006-09-17T23:37:00.000-04:00

I so love this day.

I didn't know that things would turn out to be this great today. I spend time with my family everyday, and yes we're close with each other, but it seems everything has been a routine. But today? It's way different. I had a blast! Today's Sunday has been a terrific family day! It's just like the good old days back in the province in the Philippines when I was small... even better! Yeah way better! I didn't expect that we can be closer enough like this.

First thing in the morning, the whole family heard mass in St. Andrews. It's a good start for a sunny Sunday. Then we proceeded to the mall, and had a brunch, at Market Grill. It was a buffet, so everything has been good. After being full, my mom decided for us to walk around (for us to burn at least some calories) and do some shopping. It has been a while too since the whole family did some shopping together... I mean with my dad and that.

Oh yeah, my dad has been great these days that he doesn't look like he's sick or anything. He's full of energy, unlike before that he'd rather stay at home or just sit outside the stores and wait for us. But this afternoon, he shopped with us and even bought some stuffs for himself. I'm glad he's feeling so healthy. I hope it would be always like that.

Anyways, after strolling in the mall for like an hour and a half, we went home and my mom tried to get a nap. She came from her night duty before we heard mass, that's why she needed to get some sleep. At around 5:30 PM, my parents decided we go to the beach in Deerfield. It was really spontaneous and I liked it. I was like, "Yeah come on! Let's go!" The weather was good, and it was still sunny so we were off to Deerfield. In short, we had a joyride. Oh, we didn't swim if that's what you're gonna ask, because we just wanted to witness a relaxing view and do some sightseeing.

Deerfield is just like 30 minutes away from our city, but what we had was a long joyride since the street where the beach is located is a like a long endless road. We just took the sidestreet in going to and from there, since taking freeway would be a hindrance to enjoy the view.

So okay, we were there in the road by the beach. I didn't have any idea that that place had to be that appealing. I had really appreciated the beauty of South Florida... The scenery, it's beautiful! The houses, they are vast that you would wish you own them for their strategic location, which is in front of the beach and a lake on the backyard. How is that huh? Then several house owners there own a yacht and there are a few riding some jet skis. So it's obvious that one has to be a millionaire to possess such property and live in such place. I guess some houses there are owned by some famous actors. There are a lot of condominiums too and hotels there for the tourists. Now, I had a new spot where I can bring my friends when they go visit me down here in the South. It's really really near us so there's no hassle.

After that breathtaking drive, we went to my aunt's house to drop off our gift to my nephew Andrew. We stayed there for a while, then my mom asked us if we wanna go to Starbucks. Whew! I was surprised that my parents weren't even tired. So Starbucks here we come! We went there in The Walk. It's like a famous place too here in our city, where you walk.. haha just kidding (corny)! =) Well yeah of course you walk, but it's a place to hang out too, where there are shops and restaurants. More of like Eastwood in Metro Manila. Each of us had a frappucino then we strolled around and found a good place to sit.

Coffee time then became a bonding session time! I really enjoyed the talking with my sisters and parents. I haven't mentioned, by the way, that my brother Charles wasn't there, because he went to a hockey game with his friends. Anyways, we just talked about anything under the sun... the future of my youngest sister where in Bridget and I will be the ones who's going to finance her high school (in a private Catholic school) and college, hahah.... then how my sis Bridget wants to become a pharmacist and that I'll pursue Med, may be, coz I still want to, really! Then how exciting it will be if I'm working already, so I can treat my family to a trip to Europe or anywhere they want to. It was really a great conversation, one that we had a good laugh about.

We also talked about the upcoming trip to the Philippines. I don't wanna say "their" trip, because I'm still crossing my fingers that I could come home, even for just 10 days. They were really trying to make me jealous that they're gonna do the Simbang gabi there and eat puto bumbong afterwards, then they're going to Davao and Boracay after New Year. Hmmpphh... I hope my parole visa will be approved. If ever I would get into the work, I'll request that I'll start my work on January, so that I can spend time with my family without any preoccupations yet.

Moreover, I told my sister Bridget that whenever I have the chance to go home with them, I'm going to introduce her to my friends and for the two days that we are to be in Manila (Yeah, just two days though because we/they will just spend 18 days all in all in the Philippines), I (with my friends) would bring her to the famous bars in Makati, so that she can try partying, get a taste of Manila parties (and get some good drinks of course) there at the age of 16, hahaha! After all no ID is needed in PI and she looks older than 16, so there would be no worries. Plus plus plus, we can go shopping together in Greenhills for cheaper stuffs, then Gateway, G4 and Greenbelt, then to the Mall of Asia (where I have not been yet). It would be so nice to do that right? My sis is very excited too. Ha, how I really wish I can go with them. Please God, please, can it be my Christmas gift? Just a two-week vacation with my family? It would be so much fun! =)

So there, that's my extraordinary Sunday! I feel sooo lucky to belong to this loving family! They're such a blessing and I thank God that this day has been so wonderful that we left every worries behind and just enjoy the day like there is no tomorrow.

happy here, so smile with me =)

2006-09-14T21:47:00.001-04:00

This morning Colet texted me that she and Hiyas were partying out and she asked me if I wanted to call them. They're both of my closest friends in college and since I still haven't used that 20-minute monthly free call from TFC, I decided to dial Hiyas' mobile phone. It really felt good to talk with the two of them to the point that I haven't noticed that it was already past 20 minutes. hahaha! I ended up having around 24 minutes from that TFC, then I dialed Colet's mobile phone number using the regular land phone this time (which was not free) so I could talk to them more. I decided to utilize 30 minutes, and I guess my mom would not mind because it's just 30 minutes compared before when I was still with my ex, wherein I talked with him for like a total of 3-4 hours monthly.

Anyways, the girls were asking me if when will I come home in Manila, coz they've been waiting for me. They missed going out with me, and yeah I so admit that I really miss those two bruhas. I love them so much! They are the ones whom I share my secrets with, those deepest secrets you could ever imagine hahaha! We know everything about each other's lovelives and we share dreams whether they are realistic or not. It's just that we do hope we can achieve our dreams in life and to tell you, one of the craziest is to have the chance to party on each of the states here in the US. *big grin* YES!!! Nice huh?! We can do it.. We will do it! lol. Well, even before in Manila, we had already survived going out several times just the three of us against those big groups around us. But who cares, we were enjoying and we can talk anything we want.

Kat, Colet and Hiyas

It's just comforting to know that we haven't lost our communication. Hiyas and I often e-mail each other, and take note: the e-mails we send each other are detailed, like if you're gonna print one, it will be more or less a 3-page e-mail. hahaha! Yeah, it happens like twice a month and it helps maintain our friendship strong. It's like saying "so near yet so far."

Colet was also asking me this morning if I still want to pursue medicine. Honestly, yes. I really regret it that I didn't take the NMAT when I was in college. What if I had taken it? I'm sure I am in Med school right now. Anyways, I told her that yes I still want to become a doctor, but not now, because I have to save money first to pay for the tuition. I was asked if where would I take it, but that I don't know yet. It would also be nice if I would take Med in Manila, because the tuition is way cheaper than having to take it here in the States, plus I would become a full time student there. But we'll see if there are opportunities to get some scholarship here, or may be once I'm already working, the institution can sponsor my med school provided that I will just serve them for like two years. One definite thing I'm determined of pursuing is that I'll have further study, be it in Med or Masters in Nursing (becoming a Nurse practitioner). I have this love for school and while I'm still young and my mind is still able of absorbing knowledge, why not, right? Colet wants to take med too, and she wants us to do it together... here in the States. Well, why not again? haha. I was also happy to hear her say that she was already preparing her Visa. I don't know what kind of Visa is she trying to get though, because she can get that one used by the politicians (since she's a councilor), or a tourist visa.

I wish we could have talked longer than 50 minutes. In our case, it was not enough. Imagine us talking non-stop, sharing stories, laughing and screaming!!! hahaha! But a while ago, I've shed a tear while telling my own story. Awww... I just miss them so much. Good for them they have the chance to hang out with close friends anytime. But me, the happiest chance that I can hang out with my close friends now is to hang out with them over the phone! Yes yes... conversing with them, at least, makes me happy for real. I can talk to my friends here in the States for unlimited on weekends and weeknights (9PM-8AM), and I got a 20-min free call to the Phils monthly. YEY!!! That makes me feel good.

But heyyy you... don't you pity me, ok? May be you would say that I got a shallow happiness. Nah! I pity you if you tell me that. It's because I have this view in life that in one thing or another, you can be happy. It's your choice if you want to be happy or not. If you think you can smile with what you have, then you won't be sad right? I pity those people who cannot find happiness with what they already have. Other times, you may feel incomplete, but you should not feel low about it. You have to look at the brighter side and later on you will realize that there's something to smile about. Sh*t happens too, but hey it's not the end of the world!!! Everyday is a new day. I know you have heard this several times, but take a chance to savor each morning. Each day is a chance to move on, a chance to realize that there are a lot of things that is worth smiling about. It's a chance to leave all your preoccupations behind. Otherwise, it's your lost for not making the day a good one.

Here in the States, I really appreciate the people greeting you whenever you buy anything from a store, or if you mail a letter in the post-office. They may be strangers too, but it isn't hard for them to say, "Hi, how's your day?" or "How are you today?" Then you'll end up smiling and say, "Hi! I'm good.." "I'm great"... "My day is awesome! How do you do?" Even if you're tired, you can still smile at them for greeting you. Then if you're about to leave, they're always saying, "Have a nice day!", "Have a nice weekend ahead of you." Those simple words can brighten up your day, right?

So there, I have my own way to be happy, and I feel good about it that I have a very positive outlook in life. Yes, sometimes I cry. I don't deny it. Crying is good, but just don't let it destroy your day or don't let it ruin you to the point that you get depressed. Okay? So smile!!! =) As for me, I feel lucky and happy that despite the distance, despite the time difference my friends and I have, I know that I have them at my back. Yes, I don't see them, but I'm sure they are there caring for me, they love me and they want to know and they want to be assured that I'm doing fine and that I'm not forgetting how to smile.

So my friends out there, i miss you terribly, but in a good way! Just wanna let you know that I'm doing good! And whatever it takes, I get the chance to make my day a happy one, and that I'm constantly smilin' =) So cheer up there youuu... It ain't bad at all, is it?

Weather weather lang yan

2006-09-10T18:29:00.000-04:00

Hiyee!!! It's been a while since I've written something about myself here. hehe. Tinatamad kase ako for the past few days. Nothing much to tell naman kase. Nothing's really new. But since medyo ginaganahan ako magkwento ng kung anu-ano ngayon, sisimulan ko na.

I texted my friend about the results of UAAP Cheerdance competition, and I expected that UP would have placed second, but I was a bit disappointed when I heard that we just garnered the third place, coz the routine seemed to be just the same like last year daw. Sayang naman. But it's okay. Weather weather lang yan, tsaka I know everyone had tried his/her best, and I'm still proud to be a UPian. Congrats to UP, FEU and to the champions, the UST!!! Buti na lang eh mahal ko rin ang UST, coz my dad and most of my cousins came from UST. hehe.

******

A while ago we went to Toyota. My parents just bought my 16-year old sister a car. It's a brand-new white Toyota Yaris Sedan.

Wow! She's just 16 and she got a car! And how about me? I'm 22 and yet I don't have my own car! Tsk tsk tsk.... Lucky girl huh? Yeah, she really wants a car, and she has convinced my parents to buy her one. Well, it's ok, I'm not jealous coz I'm just waiting for my work, and it will be easy for me to buy one once I have a job. Weather weather lang yan. Besides, I would want a different car, and I want to buy from my own pocket too. It would be too much if I would ask my mom to buy me a new car now that I'm done with my school. Also, I understand my sister's need for the car, even if she's just in junior high school, because she always goes to water polo practice; she always goes out with friends (well, that's for leisure and not need though); and it would spare my parents (and me) the time to send and pick her and my brother up from school.

I asked her right after my parents signed the car papers if she has already thanked them (my parents), so she said, "Oh yeah! Thank you Mama (a peck for Mom) and Thank you Papa (and a peck for Dad)." Tingnan mo nga naman tong batang to... Muntik pang makalimutang magpasalamat sa mga magulang. Hehe. But nah, don't get it wrong. Each of us was not spoiled by our parents. We were raised in such a way that we're equals and there are times that we don't and cannot get what we want.

This year 2006 has been a lucky year for my sis. She got a grand sweet 16th birthday party last March. She had it like the typical Filipina's 18th birthday (debut), with all the roses and candles, only they were 16 (coz it's sweet 16th that matters here and then the 21st birthday). I missed it though 'coz I was in the Philippines reviewing for my NCLEX. Then she got a car by now. Then in December, she's gonna go home with the whole family in the Philippines. So so lucky! I hope it goes on and on for her...

Anyways, yeah yeah yeah... my whole family is going home in PI in December. But me? Nahhh.. I still don't know. Unless I'll go home there this Oct, I would be left here in the States for Christmas. The whole Espanol family is going home. Wahhhh!!! There will be a grand family reunion in Marbel, South Cotabato, for both sides of the family.

I hate it that I always miss the important family events. Sigh...

You know what? During my debut (18th birthday), I celebrated it grandiously in Makati Shangrila Hotel, with about 120 guests (relatives, friends and classmates), yet my nuclear family was not there =( They were here in the States, because they couldn't go home. Their petition was in the process that time, so they had no choice. I was the one who took care of my party. It was pretty awesome though. I had arranged everything, from the invitations, to my gowns (care of my kababayan Randy Ortiz), to the venue... Everything! It was tiring but I had fun, because I have this love for event organizing. Anyways, I had a blast that night. Everything was perfect except that I had missed my family, which actually made me a bit teary when I had my speech. It was a once in a lifetime event of my life, that was why even though my family cannot be there for me that time, they made sure I would have a fairytale-like party (which was my dream, kase girly-girly ako masyado, hehe), and I thank them for that. Nung sembreak na lang sila bumawi, when I went to the States and the whole family took a trip to Sacramento and San Francisco.

And again, as I've said, I had missed my sister's sweet 16th just this year. And this coming Christmas, they're gonna go home and they would also go to Boracay (wahhhh!), and I would be left alone if ever I should stay here. Kamusta naman diba? I'm sure it would be a lot of fun there in the province, because the last time we had our grand reunion was more than 10 years ago, and now I'm gonna miss it big time! Darn!!! Kakainggit! But I would risk it if it would be the only way for me to start here. Okay lang na maiwan ako dito, as long as makakastart na ako sa work. I've told my mom that I'll just go on vacation with my friends, may be in Chicago again. Yes, my friends are inviting me over again if ever I won't be able to go home in PI. Sooo, okay lang din. I know I have a way to be happy too. This would be my second time to experience Christmas away from the whole family... if ever.

Bahala na si Lord. He knows best. And again, weather weather lang yan. =)

ok go - fun on treadmills

2006-09-07T11:47:00.000-04:00

This was the Ok Go's treadmill performance in the recent MTV video music awards! They performed Here it Goes Again live and it was just plain awesome!

I wonder if how many practices have they done in order to perfect it. It's sooo creative, and I bet my pwet that a lot would imitate their way of performing, haha!

Aright, pause first my music down there, and take a chance to enjoy the video! =)

party and dream

2006-09-02T22:30:00.001-04:00

What am I gonna write about? hmm.. I was out yesterday, we went in the downtown, for my cousin James's 21st birthday. We had a good time in Fat Tuesday and at Howl at the Moon. Since it was my cousin's 21st, we really made sure he would remember it for the rest of his life. Haha! We got him wasted, to the point of puking! Yeah, that was because he mixed his drinks. I mean my cousin Marlo bought him Sex on the beach drink, then he had two beers, then the Cruzan Mango, then the Mudslide, then another two different drinks I guess. We went home past three already.

I had a little hangover this morning, but I was fine. My stomach just ached a bit for a while, but then when I ate, it was gone. Today by the way is my brother Charles's birthday celebration here at home, so there's family gathering again and lots and lots of food! Filipino foods for us family and American foods for my bro's friends. The empanada and the kutsinta, and my favorite pansit molo are really good! But uggghhh, I ate a lot! haha But it's no biggie, I can go back to my diet tomorrow. I need to coz lately I've been binging. May be it's because my period is coming. hahaha, talking about PMS! But I'm in good mood lately... Why is that so? Hmmm... Secret! lols.

You know what, I still have hang-over with my trip in Chicago. Sometimes, my mind flies there. Haha. If we only have time machine right? or just a fast jet that will let you travel anywhere in a matter of minutes. I wonder if someday people can travel like from here in Florida to Chicago (or anywhere in the world), in just 30 minutes, and there will be like access to that every 15 minutes, more of like the system of MRT and buses, only in jet though? Then you can also return here in Florida at the same night, because you have to work the next day. It will be a magic and may be that would more likely to happen in the next next next generation. May be with my great great grandchildren. hahaha!

I'm tired now. I had a long day, helping my parents in preparing for the party and running errands. Oh yeah I watched Silent Hill a while ago, but because the kids were sooo noisy, I haven't really concentrated with the conversation, so I think I need to watch the last part again to fully understand it. It was complicated but Max already told me the gist, so somehow I got it, but I just wanna watch it again if I can get a time.

sweet...

2006-08-29T18:42:00.001-04:00

Guys basahin nyo to! nice to read... I found this on my friend's blog in friendster, and it's such a sweet story or article, or whatever you may call it, so I just wanna share it with you too. =) Hindi ko nga lang alam kung sino ang author nito. Anyways, here goes... enjoy!

Isa... Dalawa...Tatlo...

Alam kong gasgas na ang linyang ito pero anu't ano pa, hayaan mong sabihin kong walang anumang salita mula sa kahit ano pang lenguahe ang magbibigay kahulugan sa pakiramdam ko ngayon.

Ikakasal ka na.

Mula sa kinalalagyan ko, habang dahan dahan mong binabaybay ang gitna ng simbahan, hindi ko mapigilang lumuha ng maliliit na patak.

Ikaw ba talaga yan? Makailang pikit na ang ginawa ko, tinatanong ang sarili kung ikaw nga ba ang babaing nasa traje de boda. At kahit anong pikit ang gawin ko, ikaw nga iyon.

Parang kailan lang, kalaro kita kasama ang ibang bata. Alam ko pa ang itsura mo

noon

; tisay pero bulok ang ipin, naka-ponytail ka na palagi

noon

pa, at chubby. Bibo kang kalaro sa piko, pero kapag pikon ka na sa pang-aasar nila dahil sa lagi kang natutumba pag isang paa na lang ang gamit sa number 3 o kaya 4 na box sa piko, sa akin ka iiyak at aawayin ko sila. Madalas nila tayo tuksuhin pero wala lang sa iyo yon. Natutuwa naman ako

noon

dahil sa akin ka lumalapit. Para sa akin, ikaw na ang bestfriend ko.

Apat...

Lima

... Anim...

Binibilang ko ang mga hakbang mo sa altar. Ilang segundo na lang ay hindi ka na single. Masaya ka kaya habang naglalakad? May luha ka din sa mata, nakikita ko. Pero ang tanong na bumabalot sa isip ko ay kung luha ba yan ng kagalakan o kalungkutan.

Hindi kita naging kaklase sa grade school. Palibhasa palagi kang nasa star section. Sa service lang kita nakakasabay, at habang kumakain tayo ng cotton candy ay nagkukuwentuhan tayo tungkol sa mga nangyari sa araw natin sa school. At alam ko, nalulungkot ka

noon

kapag bababa na ako sa bahay namin. Magba-bye ako sayo habang aandar ang service at magtititigan tayo. Close tayo noong elementary. Ako ang bestfriend mong lalaki at ikaw naman ang tangi kong bestfriend na babae.

Pito... Walo... Siyam...

Mahal na mahal kita. At habang pinagmamasdan kita sa maganda mong gown ay parang natutunaw ako sa kinalalagyan ko. Nasa kalagitnaan ka na at maya maya pa ay magsisimula na ang seremonya.

Nag-high school tayo sa parehong school at sa kabutihang palad ay ka-section kita. Lalo pa tayong naging close kahit pa parating magkaaway ang mga barkada mong babae at ang mga barkada kong lalaki. Pero di

gaya

noong mga bata pa tayo, sa iba ka na tinutukso.

Sampu... Labing-isa... Labing-dalawa...

Pakiramdam ko, palakas nang palakas ang tugtog ng kasal habang papalapit ka sa altar. Nakangiti ka at kung minsa'y naititingin mo ang mata mo sa ibang taong nagagalak habang pinagmamasdan ka. Nasa sa iyo lahat ng atensyon.

Nagkaroon ka na ng maraming boyfriend. Ako namam ay umasa lamang na maibig mo. Wala akong naging ibang inalayan ng pagmamahal kundi ikaw. At tuwing pinapaiyak ka ng mga magagaling mong ex, telepono ko ang kumikiriring. Kaya nga noong nauso ang kantang "Halaga" ng Parokya ni Edgar, ay sobrang tinamaan ako.

Labing-tatlo... Labing-apat... Labing-lima...

Maligaya ka sa panahong to, alam ko. Ikaw pa, kilalang kilala na kita. Bestfriend kita eh. Mula ulo hanggang paa, kilala kita. Kakatawa pero naaalala ko pa noong mga bata tayo, alam ko na ang mga panty mo ay yung may burdang Monday, Tuesday, hanggang Friday. Alam ko na noong elementary ay galit ka sa Sibika at Kultura at sa Principal nating tinawag nating Miss Minchin. Noong highschool, alam ko pa kung sinu-sino ang mga naging crush mo. Kabisado na kita. Alam ko kung mainit ang ulo mo, kung malungkot ka, kung hindi maganda ang pakiramdam, kung nae-excite at lahat lahat.

Alam ko din kung maligaya ka. At kung hindi man ako nagkakamali, nararamdaman kong masaya ka ngayon habang patungo sa altar.

Labing-anim... Labing-pito... Labing walo...

Basta maligaya ka, masaya ako. Yun naman ang gusto ko parati, ang maligaya ka. At ang tanging hiling ko sa panahong ito ay ang panghabam-buhay mo nang kaligayahan.

Ayan na malapit ka na sa altar.

Labing-siyam..

Eksaktong ikalabing-siyam na ang ang hakbang mo, nabilang ko sa isip.

Congratulations. Masaya ako at alam kong masaya ka rin ngayong ikakasal ka na...

Dalawampu...

... sa akin.

Chicago pictures

2006-08-27T16:11:00.000-04:00

MY CHICAGO and WISCONSIN Escapade

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travel escapade

2006-08-26T21:55:00.001-04:00

Wow, more than a week na rin pala akong hindi nakapagpost. I just got home from Chicago yesterday. I really had a great time there! AS IN GREAT!!! I spent the whole week with Alex and Max (my college kabarkada and classmates who reside now in Chicago), and of course meeting Max's big family.

My trip was very interesting to know. It really took me a piece of sacrifice just to get there. Haha. Okay, I left Florida last Friday, and I was supposed to be there in Chicago Friday night around 8:30PM. From Florida, I flew to Memphis, then supposedly by 7:30PM I would depart Memphis. We were in the plane when the pilot told us that there was an air traffic so our flight was delayed. Then after an hour of being stuck in the plane, the pilot told us that we cannot fly anymore because they were very tired and they had been flying since that morning, so their stress might not bring good in our flying. DAMN NORTHWEST!!! So I was really agitated, because I was excited to meet my friends for that night, then the heck Northwest staff they cancelled the flight for the next day. So we had to stay there in Memphis for an overnight. Good thing the airline managed it of course. I was checked in at Marriott hotel and I was given $20 worth of food stub. In fairness, I had a very nice suite room. I had a king size bed. But I already slept at around 12AM, because it was already late when we got there in the hotel. I barely slept at all, because I was thinking of the flight the next morning, which was scheduled 5:45AM, so by 4AM, our shuttle bus would be bringing us to the airport.

Okay... 5:45AM struck, and we began to fall in line for the boarding. Then the Northwest agent announced that the first officer refused to fly! DAMN!!! So what was that supposed to mean? Again, for the second time, we were cancelled. We waited hours and fell in line just to rebook our ticket. I called Northwest airlines because I need to get there in Chicago. So I have called them prior to reaching the agent in the line there in the airport. I got the 8:40AM flight straight to Chicago. I was lucky because some didn't get that flight and decided to go back to the state where they came from. Some had no choice but to take the afternoon flight and some have to get another connecting flight. So okay, 8:40AM and we got into the plane, when the pilot again told us that there was a defect. The cockpit cannot be closed, and so everyone was getting hysterical, since each of us has our own intended appointments (as for me, leisure with friends, lol). There was even one there who would attend a wedding. Then everyone was again calling the airlines, and the airline said that the flight will not be cancelled. Then when we were out of the plane, the agent told us that it's moved to 9:40AM, then the pilot told us that we would fly no matter what coz everything's okay. It's just the cockpit that cannot be closed and there's no defect in the machine itself whatsoever. So we went back to the plane and it still took us long before we took off. We just prayed and hoped that finally we will be flying. But thank God, we finally flew to Chicago and everyone was clapping. The passengers cursed the Northwest making it Northworst!!! haha. So I reached Chicago around 11:30AM and because of the hassle the airline brought us, each of us was given a $100 voucher, which turned out to be very useful for me in the end.

In Chicago, I really had a great time with Max and Alex. It's a weekend when I got there so there were lots of activities. We were able to attend a picnic, a party at night when I arrived. Then the following days, we went to the downtown and it was like New York!!! A lot of tall buildings, and I like it better than in New York. The buildings in Chicago have very good architectural design. It was worth-it taking a cruise around downtown on their River, to scrutinize the buildings around. I have really wanted a place something like New York, because it is lively, but I just hate it for the fact that it is somewhat scary there and "delikado, magulo" and too busy. But now I have found the place ~ the peaceful New York is actually Chicago! So it's my option now to work there someday, especially that I have friends there.

Every night too, the three of us had bonding session, which included drinking session and heart to heart talk. It was way different than our college life bonding. I have seen that we have become mature and it's just nice to know that we're not talking about our classes anymore. hehe. Feels good that the three of us are here in the States and we're having fun. Kakaiba talaga. Si Max nagdridrive, then parang hawak namin ang oras namin, ang saya sobra! Kung saan-saan kami pumupunta. Naliligaw paminsan pero masaya. Thanks to Magellan the car's navigator, hahah!

We were also spontaneous during my stay there. We went to Wisconsin Dells, it's in Wisconsin obviously. It's a 3-hour drive from Chicago and we stayed there overnight because we left Chicago at night time and it was already midnight when we reached Wisconsin. We went to a waterpark, in Noah's Ark, as well as in Dells Duck. Even if we're only three, we had fun with the slides! Nothing compared with the bond we have made there. I became one of the boys! heheh.

Oh I forgot to tell you that we decided that I extend my stay there. I was supposed to be staying there just until Tuesday, but I extended it until Thursday. Good thing I had that $100 voucher, coz I used that to pay for upgrading my ticket. Okay, so Thursday came and I was ready to go home, but the weater was too bad. It was low visibility when Max was driving me towards the airport. When I reached the airport, the weather became good, but there were already several flights which were delayed because of the air traffic. So nagpatong-patong na yung mga delayed na flights, and in the end my flight was delayed too, then later on it was cancelled! hahaha! It was so funny that Max had to pick me up again from the airport. It was okay though that I got cancelled because I still don't wanna go back in Florida. lol.

So for the whole day, I went with Max in his work. He is a homehealth nurse, so his work involves visiting the patients in their home. So it's okay for me to join him. Pero kadalasan noon, while he's visiting his patients, I just slept in the car, kase nung last night ko dun, parang di na kami natulog kase sinulit yung gabi sa bonding. hehe. We have wished that the next day's flight will be cancelled too, haha.. but nah, everything was okay. And so it seemed that I had actually a one-week vacation there.

I'm back now here in Florida and I miss my two friends na kaagad. I hope it won't take a while before we meet again. I also wish I'm in Chicago, coz it's really different if you have some friends with you. I'm glad I got the chance to spend time with them, and nakakatuwa na nastrengthen yung bond naming tatlo.

I'll post the pics tom siguro. I'm sleepy na kase. hehe... =) Take care all of you! Mmmmmwahhhhuuuugggggs!

Chicago here I come!!!

2006-08-17T19:14:00.001-04:00

I'm going to Chicago tomorrow!!! YEYYYY!!! I'll be with Max and Alex, my ka-barkada from UP! My plane ticket and accommodation are all free, courtesy of Max! Bait talaga niya, sobrang galante ever! hehe.. Thanks Max!!! Iba na talaga pag may work na, tapos RN pa dito. Big time! haha. I told him that I'll treat him too for a trip here in Florida, once I'm working already. I'm so excited, because more than one year na ring hindi kami nagkikita ng mga iyon. They're so lucky they work in the same state and I think even in the same workplace. I just finished packing! I'll be there friday until tuesday! YAHOO!!!

One more good thing is that my college classmate/friend Alets will be having a pre-wedding party in Makati on Saturday evening (Aug. 19), and the whole batch is invited. So it's a good timing that I'll be in Illinois that time, because while the batch will be having a sort-of reunion at the party, Max, Alex and I will also be celebrating a small get-together for the three of us in Chicago. O diba, reunion of the UPCN class 2005 on both parts of the world!!! haha! Nice one! Sayang lang talaga si Roch (Alex's girlfriend) nasa California. Eh di sana nakompleto na kaming apat dito sa United States. We'll be in touch then with our classmates on Saturday (morning here), so that we can share some laughs.

Okay.. I gotta go then.. Basta, I'm gonna enjoy this trip!!! Can't wait for tomorrow! Sooo excited! =) *big grin*

Awesome weekend

2006-08-13T21:35:00.001-04:00

First of all, happy happy 23rd birthday to Karlo!!! Even though he's not here anymore in this mortal world, I still consider this day special, coz once in my life, he has been a special part of me. I love you forever Jimbo! Celebrate your birthday there in heaven grandiously! MWAH!

see related story: Superman won't return

******

I just arrived from a party of Sherrein's friend Camila. She's Italian and I've met her family. That includes her cute lil sister (the celebrant) and her brother. Her brother is really really cute... nah! Handsome!!! Too bad he's only like 16 or 17. *big grin* It's my first time to talk with an Italian guy, and gaaad, how nice is his accent!!! His voice too is really deep, and I felt like I was listening into one of the IELTS's CD's. Lol. He speaks intelligently, yeah.. I can see that he's smart. And he sits like a macho man; he's tall and has good physique... and hmmm... I just wanna find myself an Italian guy! hahaha! Well, but of course, Italian guy still comes after Filipino guys. LOL. But now I can consider Italians! Italians, you're welcome. Hahaha.

But yeah, I am not kidding. Or may be because Camila's family is just really decent and they are brought up to be nice and respectful children. Well may be I just want to find for myself that guy who is smart and has a nice outlook in life, besides that accent and other external characteristics I adore. But it's not so bad to sometimes dream of your ideal man right, as long as you have to remember that there are always imperfections and those imperfections will be the ones who will bind you both together, because you will have to learn how to deal with those in any other ways, no matter what. Ironic, but yeah, if everything's perfect, then there will come a time that it will be boring. So imperfections, thus, are healthy!

Sigh... Tsk! I wanna go to Italy someday. Oh I just remember. My friend has dreamt before (when we were in Senior college) that I'm about to marry an Italian guy. But this friend of mine saw Karlo in her dream too (my ex above, who has passed away already that time), who was so sad. My friend asked Karlo why he was so sad. Karlo told her that, "Kating's gonna marry that Italian guy. You should tell her that the guy is a bad guy. He's a druglord. You should stop her to marry him." When my friend told me that story, I was like, "Wow, really? May be it means something, like literally may be I can meet an Italian guy someday and I should not marry that man." But since dreams more often tell something figuratively too, that should mean something else then. But I don't know. Since it's my friend's dream, may be it's also about her too. It might be some issues that has not been uncovered in her life. I really don't know if it has something to do with me.

Anyways, they say that the Italian guys are the most romantic guys in the world. Is it true? I so wanna fly to Italy now, and see for myself how guys treat you there. Hahaha!!! Just kidding.. Someday... we'll see! Hmmm.. but for me, I love my own.. Lol. Yeah honestly, I still want to have a Filipino as my other half. Coz of the culture, the beliefs, and iba pa rin ang pinoy! :) But it really depends on the guy too and not the nationality. Hayyy, ang gulo ko! Basta mas mahal ko ang pinoy na marunong din magmahal at magrespeto sa akin bilang tao. Period. hehehe.

******

Ok, I'll tell you more about my weekend then. For the past few days, I've been hanging out with my cousin Sherrein. You have to deal with it that with Sherrein, there will be parties to go to, coz she has connections with her friends here, who are fond of throwing parties. And for that I got to enjoy too, coz she's gonna be here until the 23rd only. After that, my life will be boring again. So cherish the present! hehe.

Last Friday, my cousin invited 4 friends at her house, and so we hung out from 9pm until like 12AM. She let us played Circle of Death. It was a drinking game using cards, wherein we have to drink and drink according to the consequences. I never played a drinking game before. It's not that famous in the Philippines. haha. So playing that made us tipsy already that we're ready for the Karaoke. A few songs after, we're off to the next party. It was still on a house in the city, and it was more fun in there. We didn't regret going there coz we met new friends. And most of them were Asians. One was a Filipino, so isn't it that cool? I never got to meet a Filipino on a drinking house party here, so that was awesome. Then there were two Vietnamese too and the rest were Americans. It was great to know that the people there were soo familiar with the Filipino culture, even though they're Americans and Vietnamese. That's because they grew up with that Filipino guy. They were like, "kamusta ka?" Then they related that they really like the Goldilocks, adobo and a lot more. Hahaha!!! They made me hungry while they talked about those food. Then the Vietnamese guy asked me to play pusoy dos with him, haha. Actually I haven't played pusoy dos for a long time that he was the one who reviewed to me the game rules. It was a fun night all in all, and I got home already at 4AM.

Saturday. I went to the Church with my family, and I just stayed at home. My cuz asked me to go to the Southbeach again and go clubbing, but nah, I just wanna stay home, and besides my mom didn't allow me to go that far in Miami, at that time.

So there... weekend was fun! Tomorrow will be the opening of my siblings' school, and I have to wake up early everyday too, coz I'll be the one who's gonna send them to school! My sis and bro are going to the same high school, then my youngest sis is on the elementary school. Wahhh! I guess I just have to sleep again after I've sent the three of them. Then in the afternoon, I have to pick them up again, coz they don't wanna ride the school bus. Bahhh, ang arte noh?! haha. Sige na nga.. mabait si ate eh. :) So ang nurse dito, naging dakilang driver. Ugghhh, I hate it!!! Sana October na para malalaman ko na kung approved na yung petition ko. Ayt guys, Chao (that was another thing I learned from the Italians a while ago, hehe).. CHAO!!! And by the way, they do the beso-beso on both cheeks. Weird but nice! Lol.. Ayt, for real this time... CHAO!!!

Spot the difference

2006-08-10T12:15:00.000-04:00

This is Chynna Ortaleza, an actress in the Philippines, under GMA network.

The girl below is one of my best friends. We've been in one barkada since 1st grade. Her name is Girl.

Now, spot the difference!!! Whatchathink?

cheers to my escapades!

2006-08-07T23:48:00.001-04:00

My weekend was a blast! My cousin Sherrein arrived from Talahassee just this Saturday, and right then we began clubbing in Downtown Las Olas, Fort Lauderdale with our common friends. I was like being freed from my cage. Hahaha! Imagine, I have not gone to the clubs since April! Yes, the last time I had a night out / gimik was still in Manila with my batchmates, and I had really missed going out. Not exactly drinking, but just going out with friends and have a good time. Four months of being stuck at home had not been funny, not at all. It sucked! So there, I had a good time last Saturday in Downtown!

Sherrein and I in Art bar while waiting for our other friends. We crashed there because there's free admission plus one free drink per person. Cool!

That's Kristina, one of our friends.

One highlight for that night too was meeting my long lost friend Katrina. We have the same name obviously. She was my classmate in elementary (grades 1 to 3) back in South Cotabato. The last I time I saw her was in 1993. Yes, we were in grade 3 that time, because she and her family moved in New Jersey since then. We just kept in touch thru Myspace and friendster.

Anyways, she and her friends were having a vacation in Fort Lauderdale for 4 days and 3 nights. Her brother gave her number to me in Myspace, and told me to call her right away. So there, we planned to meet up in Las Olas and hang out. It was so fun meeting her after all these years. We didn't get that much time to talk however, because we're in the club and it was too loud in there, so we were like shouting. But still it was nice to meet her again, and she looked really dazzling! I was shocked too that her friends were all pinays! How I wish I can have that much pinay friends here too in FL, and how I wish we live closer so that we can go see each other more often.

Katrina of New Jersey and Katrina of Florida... after all these years!!! YEY!

with Kat's friends, Sherrein and Kristina
See? Pinay beauty still reigns! hahaha

Kat and her friends went home earlier than us, because they have a flight back to New Jersey the next morning. So the rest of us went barhopping still. My feet hurt coz I was wearing heels and my companions were on flip-flops. haha! For the whole night I got 3 different drinks. I got a tequilla sunrise, a Smirn-off and a Miller lite (a beer). I'm a good girl, so three drinks were enough, and I am not used in drinking anymore. I swear, I got a bit tipsy already after my two drinks. haha! We already went home like past 3, and we arrived home at 4:30 AM and we grabbed some snacks at home coz we're so hungry. My cousin slept over at our house.

******

The next day, we were off to Southbeach Miami! Yes, another escapade! We just had 6 hours of sleep, but it's alright. Luckily we have no hang-over! We went there because Kristina was going to meet her bestfriend Marina from New York, who's having a vacation there, so we joined her and Michael, her boyfriend. It was really exciting, because I was going to Miami for pleasure, and not for a job related matter or lawyer stuff. hihihi.

We went to meet her friend in a hotel, which was in front of Miami beach. WOW!!! Hell yeah! Then we're off to the beach itself! We just crossed the street. At last!!!

Then we laid down our mats. The weather was good! It was not that crowded because it was a Sunday, and the water was tempting. So we put our tanning lotion and got in the water. There were killer waves so it was pretty annoying if it gets bigger coz we're thrown off the shore, but at the same time it was exciting coz we gotta fight against the waves and pretended to do surfing without a surfboard. haha. How weird was that?! But we had fun! Then we did sunbathing and what would you expect? But of course, picture time! *wink*

That's me, Kristina, Marina and Sherrein. Sherrein and I were so little huh? hahaha!

We left the beach at around 7pm already. It was still sunny that time so we did not really notice that it was getting late already.

Last shot at the beach! we got a lil darker...

We went back to the hotel, then we waited for the others to shower and fix themselves. Marina had two other friends with her. We had dinner afterwards in front of the beach and it was awesome. It was like Key west too, and I actually missed Boracay because the bars were lining up the street and the ambience was more like it, coz yeah it's the beach. And they played good music too. But don't ask the price of the food and souvenirs, coz they're expensive, since Miami's tourist spot.

We had dinner in Cleveland.

We sat ourselves outside enjoying the cool air of Miami. We were 7 all in all, and Michael (Kristina's boyfriend) was the only guy. Sherrein and I shared in their clubhouse sandwich because it was hella big (and expensive haha), and we got ourselves a cocktail drink. Mine was Miami Vice. (I should have taken a pic of it!) It was really really good and fruity!!!

Here are some pictures from the dinner...

The cousins!!!

Marina and Kristina

"I forgot her name" and Nicola

Kristina and Michael (the couple)

All of us were 21 and 22 except for Nicola (who was 20) and Michael (who was I think 30). Well people here in US do really look mature huh? The first time I saw them I thought they were older than me, yet I was older than them.hehe. But these people were so nice and friendly. They knew how to have fun and they loved to talk. As a matter of fact, I was fond of their expression for the night, which was "Oh my God!" New Yorker style! It was uttered in different ways, it can be faster or slower, high or low pitch! haha. They were really funny!!!

We went back to the hotel and got our things from there. Then we went home in Coral Springs. I was really tired. I got home at 1 AM, because I drove my cousin Sherrein home after Kristina and Michael dropped us both in my house. But I had two days that were really fun! More to come while Sherrein's off here for her summer vacation!

miss ko ang batch ko

2006-08-03T18:18:00.001-04:00

I changed my lay-out! haha! trip trip lang.. Hmm.. August na pala! Wow, super bilis, apat na buwan na lang Christmas na. Kamusta naman diba, wala pa akong trabaho! Pero medyo may improvement naman this week. Nagpadala na yung lawyer ng hospital ng mga documents for my adjustment of status and yung visa screen ko, pinaprocess na din ng CGFNS. So yun yung pinagkakaabalahan ko for the past few days. Magpapamedical exam na din ako sa Monday for the immigration. Naku, kukunan ako ng dugo! Natatakot ako. haha. RN ako pero ayokong tinutusukan ako ng karayom noh! haha. Ang sama noh, mas gusto ko na ako ang nanunusok sa pasyente. hehehe. Pero going back dun sa Visascreen ko, kailangan na naman ayusin sa school yung sa Transcripts ko. Kakainis talaga, pero ayun ipinadala ko na kanina yung extra transcript and RLE ko dito papunta sa Manila, kasama nung required academic request form, para di na rin ako umorder ng panibago from the registrar's office at para na rin mas mabilis. Ipinadala ko kay Jay, kabarkada ko sa UP, para siya na ang mag-aayos at magpapadala sa Philadelphia. Thanks Jay!!! Superrr!!! =)

******

Birthday na din pala ni Colet ngayon - sa Pilipinas (August 4). Tatawagan ko siya mamaya. Since birthday niya, feature ko na lang siya dito. hehe.

Yan si Colet, isa sa mga best friends ko nung college. Siya ang dearest roommate ko nung pagraduate na kami, nang nagsimula kaming magreview for the board exams. Sayang nga eh, nung pagraduate na. Ayun, siya rin ang gimik buddy ko. Siya ang nagturo sakin uminom ng beer, kase dati hard lang ako. hahaha! What a confession! Pero totoo nga, nung nagrereview kami sa boards, magyayaya yan sa Malate. Tama ba naman magreview daw kami dun sa isang bar tapos may beer sa harap namin sabay makikinig ng music? BI talaga noh? haha. Hindi... Hindi naman yun natuloy kase naisip naming hindi nga kami makakaaral kapag ganun at wala namang may gusto samin palitan si oble sa harap ng college of nursing. hehe. Wala rin kayo dyan, kase siya ang pinakabatang konsehalang kilala ko. Fourth year pa lang kami nun, nanalo na siya bilang konsehal sa Pampanga, tsaka number 1 councilor pa. Astig! Tsaka minsan excuse yan sa duty kase may session, so nagmamake-up na lang siya sa ibang araw o minsan kapag malakas sa prof, wala ng make-up make-up pa.. hehe. Namimiss ko ang magandang kaibigan ko! Ganda niya noh? nakakatibo nga yan eh. haha! Joke. Hindi po ako obyt. Lol. =)

Happy happy birthday COLEI!!! I know you have everything na, so i'm wishing you all the happiness in life, and be safe always! Luvyah gurl!

******

Isa sa mga kaibigan ko ang chikadora sa batch namin (sa college), at kahapon may inilabas siyang mga panibagong blind items. In fairness, namiss namin yun, kase sa ganoong paraan nabubuhay ang yahoogroups namin. Hehe. Tatlong super hot lava news ang inilabas niya! Puro talagang mahirap hulaan, haha! Pero dahil close na close ko siya, nagets ko lahat ang mga nakasulat dun, maliban lang sa isa. At yun pa yung number 1 blind item!!! Eto yun... May ikakasal na daw sa batch namin!!! Grabe ha, talagang nasa marrying age na ba kami? Whew, pero kung sino man siya (70 lang naman kami sa batch), I'm happy for her. "Her" kase alam kong babae. Iilan lang ang lalaki namin.. 14 lang sila, at sigurado akong wala pang mag-aasawa sa kanila. hahaha. Pero may kutob na din ako kung sino, kase may naririnig na ako dati, tapos sabi ng chikadora namin eh Married daw yung status na nakalagay sa friendster at makatotohanan na daw talaga yun. Ang pinakamaganda dun ay ikakasal siya dahil sa "L" word nga talaga at hindi dahil sa ibang walang kwentang rason. Siyempre tiningnan ko naman yung guess ko at married nga siya sa friendster. Next time 'pag wala talagang magawa, buklatin ko nga lahat ng classmates ko sa friendster, hahaha!

Namimiss ko ang UPCN batch 2005. Thanks to Hiyas, kase biglang ang daming nagsagutan sa tahimik na yahoogroups namin. =) Sana naman lumabas na din yung yearbook namin noh, kase anong petsa na diba? Baka nakapag-asawa na kami't lahat-lahat, eh wala pa din. Sana by this December, na-ipublish na.

Let's go fashion!

2006-07-31T16:23:00.000-04:00

It's time for fashion update! Fashion trend has made a significant twist these days. Notice how the designers and the clothing companies put such great deals to change the trend. Well it's for the public to enjoy and for them to earn a lot too, which is their secondary gain! Their target are the teens and the young adults of course, now that it's the opening of the school year. Try to see what's the latest now.

So what did you notice? Those girls are now wearing several layers of clothes!!! Two kinds of bottoms huh? - skirts and leggings! YES, leggings are becoming in right now. You can try wearing shorts too over it. I just noticed that my sister is wearing that style the other day.

These leggings and tights come in a variety of designs - stripes, checkered, those with hearts. I bought one for myself too - the one with stars from Delia's.

Look at these. Skinny pants are hitting the trend now. I remember that I used to hate these skinny pants, because it's like baduy when the flares are the ones in the trend. But now, they seem to look good. Ano pa nga ba, syempre yan ang uso eh.

You can wear those narrow jeans too cuffed or uncuffed, depending on what suits your mood.

Plus you can shift your style into a cropped pants anytime, like this one.

What else are there for girls to look into? Tunics in extra-long length. Some can be worn as dresses too, but you can always pair them with leggings and flats for a much stylish attire.

Cargo Tunics

Blouses with belts on the waistline are still on the trend.

For the shoes, flats and slip-on sneakers make good pairs for the leggings and skinny pants.

Such nice canvas sneakers

I really love these heels and wedges, which are also very much in style today.

These clothes and shoes are from Delia's and Urbanfitters

Risk for hopelessness if I can work here for good

2006-07-29T14:27:00.000-04:00

Nursing Diagnosis: Risk for hopelessness if I can work here for good

S
- the CGFNS agent said that it would take 6 weeks before my Visa Screen can be processed plus its issuance
- the hospital and the lawyers said that I need to have my Visa Screen certificate before they can file for the adjustment of status
- verbalized anxiety, "Sometimes I feel I'm hopeless. Wahhhh!"
- verbalized that "Everything is okay actually, except for that Visa Screen!"

O
- my I-94 in my passport states that I can just stay here in US until October 10, 2006. If I haven't changed my status before that date, i have no choice but to go home then in Manila
- I still have about 70 days to go

A
- r/t the lengthy waiting for the VisaScreen Certificate

I
- Prayed... lots of prayers
- Called the CGFNS, and is still calling from time to time, making kulit to them
- Wrote my lawyer & asked if I can extend my status instead, had my VisaScreen be delayed which would make me ineligible for adjustment of status
- verbalized feelings to family and friends... to you fellow bloggers (lol..)
- identified and developed positive coping mechanisms
- engaged self into diversional activities, i.e. watching dvd, swimming, reading
- developed contingency plan, as was suggested by my friends.
- ensured safety

E
- still waiting for positive feedback from CGFNS and lawyers
- verbalized that "I hope that time flies fast so that I don't have to wait this long."
- verbalized that "In any way, I'll still have to work - whether here or in Manila. So I'm looking forward to know what's in store for me. At least I can work now. I'll not be useless anymore. *grin*"
- Acknowledged that the things that would happen may be the best for me.
- Evaluated contingency plan, which contains plans to work in Manila for about a year if it must be necessary that I go home there.. So far, it would work.
- safe and absolutely stable! hehehe..

another great movie - another great lesson

2006-07-27T12:00:00.000-04:00

It caught my eye yesterday to rent the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, since I have heard that it was really good. I just wondered why I have not watched this yet, since I am always updated with good movies. haha. May be I was busy with school that time (2003), lol.. *palusot eh noh*

The movie has a good cinematography, and since it's more of a chick flick and I'm easy to please, I have liked the movie. The sceneries in the movie are really good that it made me want to go now in Italy. The sunflowers there captivated my heart that it would be like I'm dreaming if I was there. The historical places... everything the camera had captured is magnificent.

Generally, it's about moving on (can relate ba? hehe) since Frances (Diane Lane) just got a divorce and she's been trying to find herself, trying to seek chances amidst the life's struggles and changes she has been undergoing in Tuscany. Her meeting of several people enabled her to know herself well and discover that she needs to love herself first before she can finally move on.

Some of my favorite lines were, "Regrets are a waste of time." "What is it about love that makes us so stupid?" "Unthinkably good things can happen even if it's at the end of the game. It's such a surprise." There's more catching dialogues in there. If given the chance, I would like to scan the book itself, if not read it.

It's also amazing that at the end of the movie, she has still received her wish(es) - that a family is to be borne, a wedding ceremony is to occur in Bramasole. Later though has she realized all of these, which happened not necessarily involving herself primarily, but her loved ones.

What I also like about this movie is that a happy ending fairy tale, like "and they live happily ever after," is not always the case. We could think that he's the one, but he's not. Then the next one, but again he's not. Sometimes we just have to accept that things can fall apart and that they are not meant to be, but we can still have a life. We can still be happy if we choose to be. I guess we just have to let things pass by, and leave the past to the history, which we can later on be happy about since we have learned a lot of things from it... And later on, unexpectedly, we will also find our prince charming... the one who's worth-waiting for.

Lately...

2006-07-25T14:34:00.000-04:00

Last week was really complicated. A lot of things had happened. Bad and good. But now, things are getting a bit fine, but honestly, I'm not happy. This would take time may be. But I hope this feeling won't last long.

It was Sunday when there was a family gathering here at home. Unexpected spontaneous gathering. Actually I was inside my bedroom sleeping, when my lil sister knocked, and told me that I should go down because there are visitors. She didn't tell me who they were, and to my surprise, it was my cousin ate marlo and her family. They came to visit my dad. So there, I shared my problems with her, then caught up with what's happening with each of us lately. It was nice. Soon, my other uncle came with my cousins. Then my other aunt and uncle and another cousin. Those were really good times. Very awesome in such a way that we didn't plan it, there's no occasion at all. My aunt brought suman and brownies. Then we ordered 2 large boxes of Pizza from Dominos and some garlic bread. Very nice indeed! They already went home past 10PM.

That same night too, my friend in LA and I talked on the phone until 4AM. Yeah, it was a great conversation, talking about anything.. those that concern us.. our rants and ramblings in our lovelives.. anything. Then it came to a point that I was convinced that it is okay to send my ex-boyfriend a text message, and so I did, and in the morning he also replied. Gaaad, I was soo happy to hear from him even if it's just one message. So it feels that we're okay now, not as lovers aright? But as good friends. I hope that we'll keep in touch no matter what. But honestly, it's also hard hearing from him, knowing that we're over.

*****

Okay change topic... the next day, at around 9AM, the nurse recruiter from the hospital where I applied called me, if I can have my second interview that same day at 2PM. Whoa! I was stunned because it was pretty fast. So after I confirmed, I dressed up and we're off to Miami again. Remember I slept at 4AM? I was soo sleepy yesterday. I was actually interviewed by the nurse manager of the unit this time. She's a Filipina too, a graduate of Silliman University, but she has been here for so long that I didn't hear her speak with me in Tagalog. She asked me what made me choose nursing, gave me a few case studies (orally answered), asked me regarding some medications. Ugghh, I was really tensed because I kept on recalling my nursing internship in PGH, and that was still last year. She asked me about the cases I've had in ICU and Med-Surg Ward. Wahhhh!!! I totally forgot, and what stuck on my mind was that Chronic Renal Failure patient I had in CENICU for my Medical paper, and also that Myasthenia Gravis patient. She also asked me regarding chest pain, the meds, the ECG readings. OMG!!! It was just my confidence that made me answer the questions. And also honesty... I was honest that I forgot my other cases. Talking about being bangag and all. hahaha! Oh well, I survived anyway. She told me her expectations and that nursing here in US is entirely different from that in Philippines.

I think I got hired. She also showed me around, introduced me to some staff. I saw a lot of Pinoys! YEY!!! My shift, if ever everything will work out, would be 7PM to 7AM. She told me that I would have no worries about the training and classes, because they provide those. I need to get the BLS and have the CPR card to start working. Sigh.. If only God permits that my petition will be processed and if I can change my status before October 6, then I can work there. There's no problem with workplace now because that hospital is already there. So, one down. I have an employer! YEY!!! It'll just be the papers.. Wahhh. Fingers crossed.

My unit by the way, if God permits, will be on the 8-Maine of that 935-bed capacity hospital. It's a Med-Surg telemetry. The nurse manager said that their telemetry unit there in 8-Maine is like ICU in the Philippines. That 8-Maine unit is a 48-bed capacity and it's a VIP unit. It's one of the units in that hospital where it has around 17 beds that are good for exclusive payment. What I mean is that a patient that occupies one of those 17 rooms has to pay the room out of his own pocket, and cannot be charged to the insurance. These 17 bedrooms range from $300 to $700 per night. And you know what struck me the most? OMG, she related that their patients there are mostly politicians and celebrities. No way?!! Yes way... Because this hospital is just across Miami beach, where celebrities flood too. Crap! That would be really scary. I mean for my first job, if God permits, that would be too large to comprehend. But I'll just pray that God will give me the strength to do such tough job responsibly. Oh the maximum patients we would handle, had I heard it right, are 6 patients.

Along with that, I also realized why I was assigned in 7th floor RCB of PGH for two months during my senior hospital internship. That 7th floor RCB is the VIP ward too of the PGH, and our patients there were the directors and deans of UP (and other schools), medical doctors, anesthesiologist, head and chief nurses. That experience really challenged me as a nursing student before. These well educated patients would ask me this and that and I had to stretch my mind. Now it's really true that there's a reason for everything and you will just find it pretty soon.

I'll still have to wait for the call of the nurse recruiter if what's the next step. I hope I'll get hired and that the papers will be the only one lacking. If not, then it would be alright. I know I did my best in the interviews.

That night too (Oh, it was just last night), my cousins and I hung out again. We watched Glory Road and School of Life. They're pretty good movies. We went home already at around 1AM, and I even got lost while driving, coz I was really sleepy. haha! So, I immediately went to bed.

Finally.. this morning, my ex-boyfriend (it's weird i'm using this now) or let's say.. my friend and I texted again. He said he's happy for me for that job, if ever all come out well. He was the first one to know, 'coz I want him to. There was also some admittance, but there's no more romantic relationship that evolves. Rather, there is friendship that no matter what happens, we're always there for each other. Sounds familiar? hehe. But yeah still miss him, but I'm more fine now. *tears*sniff*sniff* then SMILE =)

*****

Addendum:

Nurse recruiter called at around 4PM, told me that he already passed my papers to the lawyers. Ahhhh!!! This is it! Just the papers! Yey!!! =) I'm excited! I know it would take a while, but my hope is heightened. Thank you Lord! =)

UP Nursing - 100%; Becs Mahor ranks 2nd!

2006-07-18T21:41:00.000-04:00

University of the Philippines College of Nursing, once again, garnered 100% rating for the Nurse Licensure Exam!!! I'm so proud of UP!!! Wuhoo!!! Always 100%! Ang galing galing ng nursing!!! (cheer of our college in UP!)

CONGRATULATIONS

UP College of Nursing Batch 2006!!!

You keep the tradition goin' - 100%!!!

And the very good news is that my kabarkada Rebecca "BECS" Mahor ranked SECOND! Out of 42,006 NLE examiners, only 17,821 passed, merely 42.4%, and Becs is the second among them! Grabe!!! Halimaw ang kaibigan ko! I'm so proud of her!

Becs is among my barkada of 13 in UP, and she was actually the only one who became irregular among us (the barkada). We deeply knew how torn she was when the 12 of us had stepped ahead of her. We didn't want that to happen when we were in second year then. But everyone knows that we are always there for her, even though how tight the schedule and how toxic Nursing can be back then. We assured her that we're always there ready to help her, and if we go out we made sure that she's being contacted and all. True enough God is so good as always, and He didn't leave her behind. And He has even bestowed her the Silver place in the boards!

Rebecca Mahor

Becs, I'm so happy for you. So proud of you gurl! You made it with flying colors. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

It just makes me wonder too, what if last year (June 2005) during our NLE, the Board of Nursing gave a list of the ranking. My friend texted me that had they released our ranking before, many of our batchmates might have garnered such high ranks too. Oh well, that was done already. At least our Valedictorian Jonna Bucud ranked No. 1 with an average of I think around 85 or 86. That's all we knew though, we didn't have any idea who ranked second and so on.

This June 2006 topnotcher was from University of Pangasinan with an average of 83.2, then our Becs has an average of 83. Good thing it didn't turn out to be 83.19.. Hahaha, or else nakakapanghinayang! Irene, another Iskolar ng Bayan, placed 8th in this boards.

To all the Board Passers in this June 2006 NLE, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your future now begins! =)

Trivia for all UP Nursing People: What's something in common between Becs and Irene? haha.. Guess nyo kahit sobrang obvious... Peace gurls...

Some quizzes & updates

2006-07-17T15:01:00.000-04:00

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Oh my gosh!!! I guess my results fit me. Every single thing written here is true for me, except for that statement that I get in love often. No, of course not often! But yeah I admit that I tend to be a bit selfish in relationships, because I often demand for quality time. I get so attached to my partner that sometimes when we're together, I don't want us to part ways anymore. For instance, he's on my pad... Often times, I don't want him to go home anymore, and I don't want the time that we're together to end. And yes, I really love someone unconditionally and loyalty is very significant for me. And for the last statement above, it's true, that even though sometimes I feel that I love my partner more than he loves me, I still continue to love, hoping that he would learn to love me even more. I know that it may not be right, but I'm taking the risk, because I love him.

*****

You Are Most Like Charlotte!

You are the ultimate romantic idealist
You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love.
If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever.
And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you.

Romantic prediction: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)?

Could be very serious - if you play your cards right!

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

You Are A Woman!

Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood.
You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out.
You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat.
This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife!

Are You A Girl Or a Woman?

Haha.. I thought the results would give me more of a girl than that of a woman. Nakakatuwa naman.

Hay.. iba talaga pag walang magawa. Sarap tuloy sumagot ng mga quizzes just for fun. Just to kill time. Pero in fairness, I learn something while answering them.

*****

I tried searching for some hospitals here on the net, and registered and sent my resume too. Who knows some would contact me. It's because I would like to find an employer who can sponsor me. My boyfriend told me to try Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland, because he's already accepted there and is going to work there when he's done with his contract in the Philippine Heart Center. So, I tried writing a letter to the Director of International Recruitment regarding the opportunities at hand for me, if it's possible for me to start the training and working under sponsorship there. I'm aware of the fact that they just accept nurses who have at least a year of experience from an acute tertiary hospital. But still I just tried if I can start everything there, even if it would take me several training. Unfortunately, the director responded that for now they don't accept newly graduates. It is really a must that I have an experience. She told me that I can apply anytime once I have one year of experience here in the United States. So for now, Johns Hopkins will be set aside first. But still,I'm determined to get in there someday. So it's still on my list.

Isang tagumpay

2006-07-14T13:47:00.000-04:00

Pumasa na ako ng IELTS (English exam)!!! Kahapon ko lang nalaman. Nanginginig nga ako habang binubuksan ko ang envelope. hehe.. So, magtatagalog na ako ngayon, haha. Biro lang. Buti naman, salamat talaga kay Lord. At least tapos ko na lahat ng exams ko dito. Ngayon maaaring employer na lang talaga ang kulang para masimulan na ang pagproseso ng aking papers bilang RN... =) Ngayong araw din ako mag-aapply ng VisaScreen para handa na ang lahat. Baka sakali kaseng magbibigay ng go-signal ang lawyer na maghanap na ako ng employer, eh di ready na ako. Habang maaga kukuha na ako nun, kase ang alam ko mga isang buwan mahigit din ang pagproseso nung VisaScreen. Nakakatuwa lang, wala na akong exams na i-woworry pa, sa ngayon. Siguro yung mga Continuing education na lang sa susunod. Sana talaga maging ok na, para makapagsimula na.

Orlando Vacation - part 2

2006-07-12T16:39:00.000-04:00

I'm going to continue sharing our escapades in Orlando. We spent another whole day in MGM-Studios on our third day there, where it was like we're exploring Hollywood. Here you will find how Disney movies were shot. It would give you idea about the behind the scenes of some movies, the making of the stunts and many more.

I'm proud to say that I have dared to ride the Aerosmith roller coaster, coz I just hate roller coasters. But I seem to pretty enjoy it now, and I think I just had more guts with my siblings, lol. I missed Indiana Jones and Who Wants to be a Millionaire this time, because one whole day was not enough to finish the park. My strategy was that I'll try first the new ones, then skip some of the rides that I have tried before. I know 7 years were long enough, but I can still remember what rides were good. Of course, one of my favorites was the Tower of Terror!!! I love that thrilling ride, where you will be moved up and down the 13 floors of an elevator, uncontrollably and at random. Chiqui and I also loved the Voyage of the Little Mermaid. It's a musical show, which imparts to us the story of Ariel.

Here's few of the shots I've got from some of the attractions in the park.

These were some of our photos there. MGM-Studios is more about theatre.. learning about movies, the history of walt disney, how cartoon characters are made, etc. So if you're into film and its reviews, you must go here.

At night time, we went to Downtown Disney. The place was really nice. There you can go shopping, dine on your favorite restaurants like Rainforest cafe. Legoland is there too, plus they have the new Cirque du Soleil (a circus show, but too bad it was really expensive). They have there the DisneyQuest indoor interactive theme park. Of course, how will I forget the Pleasure Island, where the chains of clubs is located. House of Blues is there and a lot of cool bars and restos that play music. Generally this place is for entertainment and for those who want to party in the wee hours.

My cousin Sherrein, who is also 22 years old, was supposed to join us in this Orlando trip. However, her car broke in Tallahassee, so she wasn't able to make it. So our plan to go clubbing in Pleasure Island was definitely cancelled, and if you'll ask why I can't go with my sister and her friends... Well they're just 16 years old, and I am the only 21-and-above among the children. =( Pag ikaw nga naman ay tumatanda na.. hehe.. May be next time though.

Orlando Vacation - part 1

2006-07-11T22:32:00.000-04:00

Wow, that 6-day vacation in Orlando just seemed to be like a one-night dream, and now I'm back to my old lifestyle. But, I really had a good time with my family the entire vacation. Three of my sister's friends also came with us, as well as our 9-year old neighbor Danny.

Itinerary

July 06, Thursday - departed Coral Springs at around 4PM

July 07, Friday - Walt Disney's EPCOT

July 08, Saturday - Walt Disney's MGM-Studios

- Downtown Disney at night

July 09, Sunday - Walt Disney's Animal Kingdom

July 10, Monday - Walt Disney's Typhoon Lagoon

July 11, Tuesday - Go back home

We checked-in in Bonnet Creek Resort and good thing it's near the Disney Parks. The parks are just like 5-10 minutes away from the resort. We got a fabulous two-bedroom suite, with a big living room and kitchen, so we just felt like at home. The masters has a jacuzzi, but that was occupied by my sis and her 3 friends. My brother and Danny slept in the sofa bed in the living room; and my parents, I and my youngest sis were on the other room. Once we got there, we jumped to the hotel's swimming pool and explored the area. We found out that we can play pool and table tennis. They have miniature golf course and fitness center, plus you can have free internet access in their WIFI area with also two available computers there.

(I'll post some pics below, just click to enlarge)

My family

We planned to visit Epcot, MGM-studios and Animal Kingdom Parks, because we seldom go to those parks. It was the Magic Kingdom that we have always gone to before, because we were still kids back then and we wanted to see the famous castle, the Disney characters and experience a lot of rides. But I guess when you grow older (haha!), you'll just want to have sight seeing with few good rides. Magic Kingdom here in Orlando is like the Disneyland in Japan and California too, so a different itinerary this time will suffice and Chiqui, my youngest sis (8-year old), has not tried the three said parks. It will be our first time too, all of us, to go to Animal Kingdom.

Epcot was our first destination for the Disney Park, and I was excited, because I have always had a memorable trip with it, last 1990 and 1999.

They have several new attractions this time, and my favorite was the Soarin' where you will experience a sort-of-real flight around California's famous destinations. In Epcot, it's more about the wonders of the world. One can learn about space, the Earth, history of communication. And the best part? You can explore the cultures and cuisine of 11 countries in its World Showcase - Canada, UK, France, Morocco, Japan, USA, Italy, Germany, China, Norway, and Mexico! Yes, you will have a hard time to choose where to eat and buy souvenirs from. I wish Philippines was there, hahaha! May be someday.. I really like this feature of Epcot, because I felt like I was traveling around the world in just one day.

In Canada with the Parliament on the background

Danny and Chiqui in UK

These are Italy, Germany, Mexico and France

USA!!!

in Norway, aboard the ship of the Vikings;

I'm in China!

This time with the famous Monet in the French countryside

In Morocco baby!

Then the famous illuminations at 9PM was definitely magnificent.

About the weather, it really rained hard during the Epcot trip, that we have decided to buy raincoats, because it would be frustrating not to enjoy the park if you would just stay on the shade. So rain or shine, we have managed to move around the park.

Okodoki... I'll just continue sharing my vacation trip tomorrow, 'coz I'm soo sleepy already.. *yawn* lol.. Ciao! Hope you all have a good time there. Nytnyt!

Gotta take a break for a while

2006-07-06T13:52:00.000-04:00

Hello fellow bloggers!!! I'm going away for just 5 days. Be back in July 11. I'm goin in Orlando with my whole family in a while, so I would not be online there, unless they have a wireless internet in their hotel rooms.. (which I think there's none..) hahaha! Anyways, I have to enjoy this!!!

Just leave messages in the shoutbox ayt? I would love to hear from you..
C-yah laterz. Take care all of you. *xoxo*

When boredom strikes

2006-07-05T16:00:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's already July and I've been here in the United States for almost 3 months. Yet I can't work. If only I have already a social security number, I know a lot would want to hire me, because there's shortage of nurses. I just stare sometimes at my RN license. Yep, just staring at it as if some extraordinary voodoo will happen, and soon find myself keeping it again inside an envelope. It is frustrating. The same things happen everyday. It's merely a boring routine. I feel useless.

My stay here is temporary for now though, and it depends as to what the lawyer would instruct me to do. It's among the three actually. First, I could have my status changed to be an immigrant if I am still eligible for that Child Status Protection Act, using my approved petition through my parents; or second, I would apply for the VisaScreen in CGFNS, find my own employer and then change status; or third, I would go back home in the Philippines before my 6th month of stay here, which will be on October. I hope it's either the first or the second one, with greater favor on the first, for me to be able to get rid of that 2-year contract employers often require.

I really hope not the third, because I so wanted to start working here already to help my parents and for me to be somehow fulfilled, that I can be able to be of great service. Kaso lang hindi sa mga Pinoy =( I would want to work in Manila too, if I have no choice, for I know I can gain experience there, a very good one and of course I can help my fellow Pinoys (yup, really, lalo na galing akong UP, dapat talaga sana nagwork muna ako sa Pinas diba); and I know I have my friends there and of course my boyfriend. Mind you, I don't have friends here yet in Florida. No one to hang out with and to open up my problems with. My college friends are in Chicago- too far... so it's an added reason for me to get depressed because at times I feel alone.

But one most important factor that forces me to stay here in FL is my dad's condition. He's really sick, so whatever happens, it would be a slight relief for me to know that we're all complete here as a family. But if there's no choice, if however I will be sent home, it will be very fine too. But they must tell me now. I mean as early as this month and not to wait for October, because I wanna find work there as soon as possible and get started.. so that my time here will not be wasted.

My boyfriend Jed tells me that it's really tiring to work, and if I start working I would clamor for rest days. I know that. I heard that from a lot of people. But I've been a bum for more than a year already, and I think that's way enough. I have taken so much time for an after-graduation rest, and I don't feel right about it anymore. I need to move.

Oh but I cannot move until knowing what the lawyer would say. I hope he would call this week. I have done my part already - I have taken my NCLEX exam, which I have passed. I have taken my IELTS which I still do not know the result. Hopefully I will pass. And if the Atty tells me to apply for the VisaScreen, then I would be contacting again the OUR in UP Manila and asked them to send my transcripts in CGFNS. Ooops I think not! I have here an extra copy of my transcripts (TOR) and I am going to send it to them just to be sure. Because you know what happened? The last time I asked them to send the CGFNS my TOR, it was invalid because my birthday was wrongly typed. Ugghh, that really was careless and a waste of money because it cost P1000 to send that document via LBC. Plus I am already shy to ask my cousin to follow it up again for me.

So anyways, here I'm bored again. Then may konting tampuhan pa kami ni Jed kagabi. Ako pala, hehe. That's another disadvantage of being bored. I keep thinking about him who is so busy there in Manila with his duties, that sometimes I feel he doesn't have time for me. I admit that I have to understand that he's busy. You can't blame me, selosa kase ako, hehe. I keep trying not to complain anymore but sometimes it just gets on my way. Long distance rel is just difficult, especially if one is bored (like me). But I still stick with it, because I keep thinking that after a year or a year and a half, he'll be here already, and kase mahal mo naman diba. Kahit magastos sige pa din. hehe.. Buti sana kung may work na ko noh. Hay buhay.. Pero mag-one year na kami this July 28. YIPEE!!! Yihee, pero ni minsan di pa kami nagcelebrate ng monthsary together. Haha! tsk! Yup, because it's either he has a duty (when i was in Manila) or I'm here away from him. Pero sad lang din kase ni minsan hindi nya naaalala. Nagulat nga sya na 11 months na kami nung June 28 =( Ako muna magreremind o mauuna magreet. Ayun lang, share ko lang.

Tomorrow, we'll be going in Orlando - July 6 to July 11. At least I'll be on a happy vacation with my family. Disney time again! I just hope the weather is good because for the past few days it's raining here. I already packed my things last night and I bought two phone cards a while ago so that I could call Jed anytime there. Aryt, c-yah!

Thinking of Superman in the 4th of July

2006-07-04T19:03:00.000-04:00

Dream on to Superman

Ohhhlala, superman is so cute!!! Lemme see, let's google him. Aha! He's Brandon Routh... And he's just 26 years old... and I'm just 22! Not bad! hahaha, lol. *Dream on Kating* Well honestly, I haven't watched this movie yet. I just happened to see this captivating man on soo many blogs, and I found him stunningly cute. Ughh, not enough description! Let's say masculine with a chiseled face and sculptured bod that is enthralling to every woman's eyes.

My sister wanted me to go with her in the movies yesterday, but I was just not on the mood to go out. I know I'll watch it sometime though, 'coz the theatre is just there and I know that the film will be shown for a month or so. Well if not, I'll wait for the DVD then. I won't die anyway. I believe I have my superman beside me all the time.. and I can't be any luckier than that (if u don't get it, read my June 24 entry - Superman won't return).

Let's see a few of what I have found about Brandon Routh.

He is 6' and 2 1/2". Some say 6' 3"
He was dressed as Clark Kent for Hollywood Halloween costume contest and eventually won the award in 2003.
Before this Superman Returns movie, he has been on an episode of Gilmore Girls and played Seth Anderson from 2001-2002 in One Life to Live, a daytime drama in ABC channel. He was featured too in the music video of Christina Aguilera’s “What a Girl Wants”.
He attended the University of Iowa.
For the role of Superman, he beat out Josh Hartnett, Ashton Kutcher, Jude Law, Jake Gyllenhaal, Brendan Fraser, Jim Caviezel and Tom Welling - Whoa! He must have given the panel during the audition a one of a kind and undoubtedly profound impression.

Ahhhh!!! Ang gwapo nya! hahaha... i like this shot 'coz he looks so natural here.

Happy 4th of July!!!

By the way, happy 4th of July everyone!!! There's a small neighborhood party here in front of our house. My sister and I went there and gave 2 boxes of Domino's pizza (coz it's like a potluck party), but we didn't stay there any longer 'coz the kids were swimming and there's no more food, hahaha! We'll go back later for the fireworks. That's what I'm looking forward to.

By the way, it's my first time to be celebrating this holiday 'coz obviously I had been in the Philippines for the past years because of school. I just noticed that the Americans do give time to prepare for this day. They often have BBQ parties and set fireworks at night. Contrary to that, I've been celebrating our own Philippine independence every June 12; there's fireworks also but we Filipinos do not throw some parties for it. Yes we can see the government celebrates it, but the people themselves do not. Hmm.. why is that so? As a matter of fact, sometimes there are protests or strikes. Weird.. Oh well, that's the way it is in my country. All I can remember is that we were already so happy if June 12 strikes on a weekday, because that would mean there would be no classes! hahaha! (~_~)

Source: Movies.com and Brandonrouth.com

The Body Shop's on sale!

2006-07-03T21:27:00.000-04:00

My family and I went to Boca Raton Town Center here in FL yesterday, because my ninang, who just arrived from California, wanted to go shopping. I came across The Body Shop and saw that they were on sale. Yeah, because it's the 4th of July tomorrow (a holiday means sale ~ I suppose, always). I then entered the store because I was trying to find a bronzer (I was running out of it already), and it's only in Boca, where I can find this store. I mean it's the nearest from where I live, that as far as I know. And we seldom go there because it's like a 30-45 minutes drive from our Coral Springs.

Guess what I found? A really good deal! Buy 3 make-ups for $15!!! YUP! I was just supposed to buy a bronzer, which cost $12.50. But because it's NOT so bad to add just a $2.50 extra, plus of course the 6% tax, I took another lip and cheek stain and the Raspberry liquid lip color! WUHOO!!! That saved me $18.5, which was more than 100% of the amount which I have paid for those products.

I selected that lip & cheek stain, because I use it everytime. I still have one extra here though, one that is unused. So it's good that when I'm gonna use the other one, I'll have another extra. hehehe.. I bought that in Manila and it was P500. So why would I think twice in this one, for it's such a good deal right? Did I just say, 3 for $15!? Hell yeah, very very nice price! It's like P795. The rasperry liquid lip color, on the other hand, was fine. I just wanna try it, that's why I purchased it. I was supposed to buy their concealer (which had been a part of my kikay kit for 3 years), but I think I'm better with Clinique now, which I have started using just this April.

Thank you Body Shop!

Thumbs up to The Devil Wears Prada!

2006-07-02T22:35:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh, The Devil Wears Prada really rocked!!! I have liked it so much. It's a novel actually by Lauren Weisberger, and the movie is being casted by Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep.

Andrea (Anne) is a fashion assistant of the high-profile and impossible-kind-of-boss Miranda (Meryl), the editor of Runway Magazine.

This movie, as its title states, shouts fashion trends. Yeba!!! Prada, Armani, Chanel, Gucci, Versace! It revolves around Andrea surviving the demands of her work, where she has kept answering the calls of her boss day and night, running errands every now and then, just to keep up with the job and prove she can do it and pursue her dreams later on as a journalist.

However enjoying too the envious chance of wearing the designer clothes from the Runway closet.

The stunning clothes of the people who work in the Runway company just caused me shivers and I wondered if how does it really feel to work in there. I must feel so fashionable, trendy... name it and girl, you will love it! It's incredible especially for someone like me who really has a love for fashion. Yep, talkin' about Cosmos. Watch it!

Hey, it's not only that! The movie is a mixture of comedy and drama, and for someone who's in my age, you will appreciate it. I'm talkin about career age. Yeah, the movie teaches you about how to find yourself, how to make a choice that involves your career... your future. It will show you how things can change you so fast and without really noticing you become ambitious and just become not your old self anymore. So we have to be wary and learn to make a choice. And when we make a choice, it may involve quitting from something we really have wanted. Oh, but do you really want it?

Yeah, so just watch it guys, and it's worth the money. But then again, it really depends on your taste. For me, thumbs up to The Devil Wears Prada! I'll wait for the DVD! =)

Production Photos from Yahoo movies

Proud to be Pinoy!

2006-06-29T22:15:00.000-04:00

It was a long day for me, and it's just today that i have felt again how to be actually busy. This morning, I took a long drive in Davie to sit on my IELTS exam (an English exam which contains 4 tests - listening, reading, writing and speaking). I left home at around 7:15 AM. The weather was great, no heavy traffic to mind. I entered the Talk International office in Nova Southeastern University at around 8:10 AM, a little too early for the exam (9 AM- scheduled start), but way better than to be late. I thought I was the earliest, but nope. And I haven't thought that I would be seeing a lot of Pinoys in there, and your guess is right.. they're all for fulfilling one of their requirements for their visascreen certificates, but if you think they're all nurses? Nah.. You're wrong. Two of them were Med tech too.

I didn't expect that this day was a chance to meet people actually. During the early registration, we began talking and asking if from where we are exactly here in US. Of course, I started conversing with a Pinay, who happened to be a Cebuano and came from Mindanao too. It was surprising to know that she is from Chicago. But why travel when in fact you have there an IELTS location? It is because the next slot for the IELTS exam in her state is going to be in September, and that's way too long for her to wait. Her companion, on the other hand, is from Georgia. That time, I really told myself that I was lucky I just drove for less than an hour, and did not spend some bucks for the plane fare from another state, plus the expense of having a hotel. There were still a lot of other Filipinos there and meeting them was entirely fascinating, because I felt at ease and it was like that the sense of being in a community was there.

There were Koreans too. I tell you, there were a lot! Hmm..nurses too! haha. I think the quantity more or less equalled with those of the Filipinos. The same thing, they came from different states. I talked with one Korean, who travelled from New Jersey and she had a flight back there at 5:10 PM after her speaking part. I didn't know if she was able to reschedule her interview though, because 4:20 was the one assigned to her. I hope she did. Anyways, the Koreans I have met there were quite nervous because they perceived that their English is poor, and they complemented us Filipinos to be really good at it. About that matter, I can just say that the Filipinos do have a good background with English, because most schools in our country, if not all, use English as the medium of instruction. I know Koreans are good too, it just depends on practice I think.

During the exam, I was seated next to an American named Brooke. She is a traveling nurse, and she needs to pass this exam for her to be able to get to work in UK. How funny is that huh? She's an American, yet she still needs to take this test. Of course, she would have no problem in the speaking part. But I was really glad that she was my seatmate because after our exam, we did had fun and I didn't get bored. We finished the first 3 parts at around 12:30 PM, and my interview was scheduled at 3:40 (which was actually delayed, I was able to enter by around 4:30). Goin back, I spent lunch with Brooke, Ate Nida (a fellow Filipina who still came from Orlando) and Vanessa. We ate in an Italian restaurant (yummy food!!! I got chicken parmigiana and their garlic rolls were really gooood!!!)

Vanessa, by the way, is from Panama, who happens to decide that she would take her IELTS here in Florida. YES! Here in FL and not in some places near her country. It is because the nearest site where she can take the test in her country (I forgot where. I think Colombia, which she doesn't want to take chances with because it's somehow dangerous in there) charges $300 for the IELTS ($140 here in US). She has then decided to visit her friends here in Miami, so it was like a double purpose travel; plus she gets a discount for a student fare. She's a 23-year old architect in Panama and she will be having her masters in UK, thus she seeks to pass this test. Both she and Brooke were a good catch today, because I have learned a lot about them; especially Vanessa who talked about the World Cup. She said that it's really like a religion there in her country, where people took some off from work so not to miss the game. There's more that she said about their culture, and I was amazed by it. She had good English too, even though she speaks Spanish back there in her country. That's why she and Brooke really were great help to practice my speaking ability before I came face to face with the British council representative. And of course, Ate Nida and I had our share of how beautiful Philippines is, relating too about the culture and the people.

So much for today. We ended the day with a smile, even though we carried the burden of waiting for the results. And as for these three girls I have had lunch with, we exchanged each others' e-mail addresses. I'll keep'n touch with them. Who knows we will meet again someday right? I may say in UK, where Vanessa and Brooke will be the ones welcoming me. Indeed it was a tiring day, yet so much learning, both from the test itself and from meeting people of varied cultures. It made me just say that I'm proud to be Pinoy!!! =)

Having Older Brothers Increases a Man's Odds of Being Gay

2006-06-27T18:30:00.000-04:00

Source:
Science News from Scientific American
June 27, 2006

The number of biological older brothers a boy's mother has carried--whether they live with him in the same household or not--affects his chances of being gay. The findings, reported this week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, by Anthony Bogaert of Brock University, lend credence to the theory that it's not the social or rearing factors that influence a man's sexual orientation, but rather prenatal mechanisms that begin in the womb.

The idea that prenatal mechanisms may influence sexual orientation has been around for a couple of decades. In 1996, Bogaert along with colleague Ray Blanchard correlated sexual orientation in men with the number of older brothers, but it wasn't clear if that influence was occurring because the boys shared the same household or because they had shared the same womb.

In the new study, Bogaert pitted prenatal against postnatal by examining four samples of homosexual and heterosexual men, for a total of 944 participants. The data for three of the samples had been collected previously, and included detailed information about the men's sexual orientation, as well as their family life. Because most of the men from these three study groups came from unbroken families, Bogaert looked at a fourth group, composed of men who had been adopted or raised with half- or step-siblings. He also gathered data from this group about how long members lived with each sibling and whether they had brothers or sisters with whom they had never lived.

He reasoned that if the social or rearing factor theories were correct, he would expect to see certain things. First, it wouldn't matter whether a gay man's older brothers had been biologically related or not, the social influence would be there. Second, the amount of time the young boy lived with his older brothers, biological or not, should affect his sexual orientation. Third, if the boy did not live with older brothers, then the numbers should not impact his sexual preference.

Bogaert found the opposite to be true. First, he found that only the number of biological older brothers predicted sexual orientation in men--even when the number of non-biological older brothers was significantly higher. Second, his study showed that the amount of time reared with older brothers--either related or not--did not predict a young boy's becoming homosexual. And surprisingly, Bogaert discovered that even if a young man did not grow up in the same house as his older brothers, the fact that he had older biological brothers increased his odds of being gay.

The fact that the common denominator between the older and younger biological brothers is the mother hints at a prenatal influence on sexual orientation. What it could be is still a mystery. But one theory suggests that after delivering a boy, a woman's immune system produces antibodies to male-specific proteins. During subsequent pregnancies the mother's placenta may deliver the antibodies to the fetus, possibly affecting its development. --Tracy Staedter

More thoughts

2006-06-27T11:47:00.000-04:00

When is love love?
There is nothing wrong in loving someone. You may be able to bear the pain when love begins to hurt and when it hurts, you may still be able to give even more. You may even be able to love til it hurts no more. But what good does it bring you when the person you love shows no respect for what you feel and makes lame excuses for his or her inability to love you back?

Love is not love til you give it away.

But love will only have life when it is shared by two people who believe in its meaning.

A Sad love thought
Loving is a lot like watching a 20-minute fireworks display.. Exciting, emotional, romantic, sweet, memorable. But it also ends as dramatic as it begins to fade slowly into thin air. As much as you want to keep watching, there's nothing you can do to make it stay. In the end, all that's left is a starless night and the fact that in this life, good things never seem to last.

-- ang bitter naman ng quote na to. Well, I believe that this is not always the case. May be after all, the person who thought of this has not yet found his true love.

ErnestTravel

2006-06-26T11:43:00.000-04:00

Our family enrolled in a new business last Saturday. It's a travel network under YTB and in this business, we will be having our own travel network on a website. We decided to name it ErnestTravel, from the name of my dad Ernesto. With ErnestTravel, anyone can book their flights, book for hotels, rent a car, cruises, and a lot more. Vacation packages with great deals are being feautured too. It's a good business, wherein the owner becomes a certified travel agent. We attended the seminar last Saturday and as travel agents, it is a lifetime business for us and we can also get several benefits, like discounts for future travels, then priorities for most bookings. This ErnestTravel of YTB is just like the big companies of Expedia and Orbitz, and what's great about it is that these travel networks generally offer the same prices and the same feautures. It is really the company name that differentiates between them.

I ask you for support in ErnestTravel. Start booking your trips and hotels here now. You will surely find it easy to search what you're looking for.

Superman won't return

2006-06-24T21:18:00.001-04:00

Notice the date today? It's June 24, 2006, which marked the 2nd year death anniversary of my beloved ex-boyfriend and best friend Jim Karlo. I called him Hon or just Karlo. His death was a tragic one as he was being subjected to a theft in an FX along Remedios Street in Manila. He was stabbed four times as there was dispute among the 4 robbers and him. You are right if you have thought that it was about his mobile phone. Yes, he refused to give it, as well as his wallet, thus this led to an unwanted crime. It was thought that a cardiac tamponade had happened, because his autopsy had shown that his pericardium was struck several inches deep by one stab among the four. I think the other three were somewhere in the abdomen and near the diaphragm. I already forgot.

Anyway, let us go back to that day. My dad just arrived in the morning of that day from Florida, and we had no class since it was a holiday - Manila Day. We texted each other (still in the morning) that he will come visit me in the condo (in Rob Place Faura), since there was nothing to do and we were planning something for our Psych class. Add to that we would be having dinner with my dad. Karlo's from Las Pinas by the way. So he arrived already in Rob at around 3:00 PM. We planned to stay first in Starbucks to have quality time together. Unfortunately, there was no room for us there, so we decided to just roam around until we got to sit ourselves in the food court. Then we transferred to Wendy's. At that time, I had my laptop with me because he needed to finish his paperworks. At Wendy's he treated me and he really ordered a lot. We had one of the burger combos (that includes large fries, iced tea and burger), then 2 frosties for the both of us. He finished his paperworks there, while I was just looking at him the whole time. Seriously, I was just staring at him til he had finished.

At those moments that we were in Rob, I felt really weird, because he was like not talking. He was so silent and we even had a small argument because I was annoying (because it's unnatural for him to be silent), so he was like pissed off. Anyway, we decided to go back to the condo. But I insited him for us to go to the poolside first (in the 7th floor). I wanted to just spend time with him, because my dad is in my pad and we couldn't have private time together there. So there, we stayed in the 7th floor in a while, and I was very worried if what's his feeling at that moment. It was really weird for him to be like so sad and so I asked him what's wrong, and he just said "nothing". I'm a paranoid girl sometimes, so I asked him if it has something to do with me, if he still loves me, bla, bla, bla.. And I think he was more pissed off, and told me that i'm soo makulit. I even cried at that moment. (I guess I'm still makulit until now, that's why bear with me, hehe).

He then told me that we should better go upstairs to meet my dad, and so we did. There my dad was already awake from his rest, and they talked. They have already met several times. The first was in July 2003. Karlo and I were like 5 months together at that time.

Moreover, since we would be preparing some activities for the streetchildren for the next day, we started cutting the red papers into heart shapes. That activity by the way was about self-esteem activity, where these streetchildren, as part of our Psych class, would write the positive things about a person to whom the heart would be given. Anyway, there were some spare red papers, and so we cut them still into smaller heart shapes. He gave me two hearts with something written on them. Awww.. I tell u, he's the sweetest!!! And I'm proud of him, so blessed that he was mine. At that time that we were in my pad, we were already both okay. He was back to his normal mood again- talking to me, smiling and being sweet. Here are the 2 small hearts. Of course, I'm still keep'n them until now.

Hmm... I remembered we again went back to Rob, because we wanted to go to the Netopia to check our mails. Then after that we met my dad in the department store. Since my pad was lacking some kitchen utensils, my dad bought the needed things because he was planning to cook. We then returned to the pad to put back what we purchased. We proceeded to Red Crab in Malate for dinner. I chose that because that was our favorite resto, and we were happy that we had my dad there to treat us. I tell you, we really had fun! My dad let us talk about our plans after our graduation, in about 10 months from that moment (yeah, school year has just started for about 2 weeks). We planned that we would go in US after about a year or two of working in Manila. We would want to work in PGH together for experience. I told my dad that we would move in US together, may be in California, so I would wait for him, unless my visa petition would tell me to go fly first. There were chitchats about engagement rings, and Karlo was joking around about buying one from Tiffany and Co. which is really my dream (Hi to my future man! hahaha..) He really ate a lot too, as in a lot.. Crabs, rice, etc. I recalled that my dad and I were already full, but he was still there, eating voraciously.

In the early evening, he told me that he would go home by 9 PM, however it was raining, and it was like almost 8:30 PM when we reached Red Crab by cab. Of course, we haven't noticed the time and we left the restaurant by like 10 minutes before 10 PM. Since we decided to just walk from the resto to the pad, we happened to see a money exchanger, and my dad had a change. So we like arrived the pad by 10PM.

Karlo then washed his face (he usually does that when he feels he has been exposed to the polluted air of manila, hehe), then grabbed his things. My dad had also planned to let him stay, but Karlo and I told him that he has no apparels at the moment and we had to go to school the next day. My dad was on the phone that time with my sister, which was here in Florida. So Karlo just waved goodbye to my dad, and I sent him to the elevator. While waiting for the elevator to open on our floor, we kissed. It was really you know A kiss. Not just smock or what, but a real kiss. And I hugged him soo tight, that it was like I would not ever see him again. Unfortunately, it became true. That was our last kiss and hug =(

When he left, I printed our Psych paperworks to be submitted the next day. He even told me to print a superman image (he calls himself superman), because he would give it to his alaga (the streetchild Jericho) for the socialization. Oh yeah it was our Psych socialization with the streetchildren the following day. So I printed mine, then his. But at around 10:30, as I was printing his papers, the printer just printed large letters. I was pissed off why it did that. It was the first time my printer acted such kind. I crumpled the papers and threw them without reading what were written, but I knew it was not the same as what were written on his papers. But then after several tries, the printed was fine. Still, I never tried to see what was printed on those papers. I then changed into my pajamas and tried to sleep.

But I kept on waiting and waiting for his text. I even texted him the moment he left, then I asked something about the superman thing for his alaga. But there was no reply, not even one. That was really unusual because everytime he's on the bus or FX, he would let me know. He told me earlier that he would take a bus, and he often did that, because it is only seldom an FX is headed towards Las Pinas. So I waited and it was like 11:30, but still there was no message from him. It made me freaked out, that I even told my dad that Karlo wasn't at home yet. Then my phone rang several minutes later, and it was his name which appeared on my phone. So I answered it and surprisingly it was his mom (his landline number was stored on my phone under his name) telling me that somebody called that Karlo was held up. His mom gave the phone to Karlo's aunt, and his aunt told me that Karlo was in Manila Doctor's Emergency room. You wouldn't want to know my reaction that time. I was really in panic. I changed into jeans and a shirt, and immediately took a cab with my dad towards Madocs. (Ughh.. my heart is feeling tight now as I'm writing this part)..

So, we got into Madocs, and I was looking for Karlo. He wasn't there. I asked the nurse if where was their client named Jim Karlo Calub. Then she asked my name if what's my relationship with him. I told her that I'm the girlfriend, but still she refused to tell me what happened. So I was like, 'Come on, please tell me where he is or what happened.' Then my dad entered the ER. He entered later than me because he payed the cab. My dad did the same thing, he asked the nurse. But when the nurse refused to give information, my had a dad peek at one of the drapes that was behind us. Then he told the nurse, "Wala na talaga?" Then that question has answered that Karlo was gone. It didn't really come into my mind that he's gonna be dead. When I was trying to find him inside the Madocs' ER, I was just expecting him to have small cuts or wounds, and I had imagined him to be just sitting somewhere there and waiting for me. Death was really out of my mind.

You know what was I feeling at that moment? It was shock, that I couldn't cry. I just keep saying, "Ha? Wala na si Karlo? Patay na si Karlo?" I wanted to cry but there were no tears falling from my eyes. It was the worst thing that happened to me. Several incidence flashed back my mind.. the plans we have had were shattered.. no dreams for both of us.. he won't be the father of my children.. =(

If you would ask if I got to take a look of his dead body there in the hospital, the answer is no. I didn't try to look at him, to hug him there in his death bed. I was scared, may be I would faint. I only got to see him when he was being dressed in the morgue, and that time, I cried hard while touching his hard, already cold body. I only got to cry with tears when my friends (my UP barkada) arrived in the hospital. It was creepy that they were all wearing gray shirts, and it was a coincidence. It was like they were in between black and white. After that I insisted to go home in the pad. I didn't like the feeling of being there in the hospital anymore. My friends then followed and there were a lot of people there comforting me.. all my classmates and friends. I didn't have any sleep at all, may be just like 10 minutes of nap.

Ok, I'll stop now. I really don't intend to expound on his funeral days. I'm not feeling good now in writing this. I feel sad. I wish he would let me dream of him tonight. Sigh.. It's been two years. No one can blame me if I still miss him at times, because I admit that he was my life for most of my college years. But I need to move on, and I had become strong with it. My friends and family did not leave me thru it, and so I did it!

I have been able to smile again, to feel that it's not the end of the world. I always tell myself, as my parents would always remind me, that I'm still young, and it was just one of my struggles in life. Yes, that's true. I believe that. Now, after two years, I feel different. I realized that I changed. Of course for the better. I have found who my real friends are. I often smile now and seldom cry for the memories. The experience gave me lessons that I would never ever have learned if these things had not happened. Things may be different if he's still here, but I should not think about those anymore, because no matter what, it will never happen.

For the two years since that incident, I slowly learned that I can move on, that I have friends who love me and never get tired of guiding me and giving me reasons to smile. Hey, good news.. I got another man now who I have learned to love. Yey!!! =) Good thing it never came to my mind to stop believing in love, because ever since, I always know that each of us has a special someone meant for us. I know I couldn't say for now that he's the one. It's up to God. But while I have this relationship, I'm hoping that he will be the one. But I don't deny that sometimes, I get scared of giving all my love for a person, because I somehow fear that I will be left alone again, finding it again very hard to let go and move on.

To Karlo, thank you for every wonderful moment spent with you. There were no regrets, no wasted time. Everything with you was perfect. I cherished you and our memories.

I would like you to know that we pray for you and your parents always, and we know that you're already sitting beside our Father. Good for you, you would not have to endure all these hardships that we're facing right now.

We love you always and keep watching us. =)

See you in time! And you will become my brother.. Hindi na honey, diba Kuya Karlo? hehe.

Speed dating

2006-06-23T16:22:00.000-04:00

Speed Dating

Are you single but too busy to search for love? Then you need to try the latest dating phenomenon that is sweeping across the UK - speed dating.

Speed dating involves men and women meeting in a room and finding out as much as they can about possible partners in three minutes. It's proving very popular with Britain's young people who find that they haven't got the time to meet that special one.

At a speed dating event you are given three minutes to talk, one on one, with a member of the opposite sex. Then a bell is rung and you move to another person and start chatting again. By the end of the evening you will have spoken with up to twenty men or women!

If, by the end of a conversation, you fancy the person or would like to see them again, you write it down on a card. Then, if the other person also fancies you, the organisers will contact you with their details.But is three minutes long enough to make an impression and work out if you want to see someone again? Research suggests that chemistry can be felt within the first thirty seconds of meeting someone, and that is what speed dating is all about, knowing quickly if you are going to like someone.

And what about romance? Is it possible to make a good judgment in such a short time? After all, people say you can't hurry love. However, Britain will soon have its first marriage from a speed date.

So, if you are on a mission to find Mr or Miss Right, what have you got to lose? At worst, you still go home on your own. But at best, the person of your dreams could be just three minutes away.

Source:
BBC Website

Am i or Am i not?

2006-06-23T10:10:00.000-04:00

I'm just contemplating this morning while lying on my bed. I can't help to ask myself if i am a great girlfriend or not. Am i any good in handling relationships? Paminsan feeling ko kase hindi ako okay as a gf, sobrang matampuhin ko. Kawawa naman yung boyfriend ko. Pero hindi naman ako nang-aaway kase ayoko talaga ng away. Hindi ko talaga nature magalit. Siguro sensitive lang ako and yun nga matampuhin. Pero pag may tampuhan gusto ko din kagad resolved na. Kaya sinasabi ko kagad pag nagtatampo ako, and then after that, I feel ok na. But still, I keep on thinking if my boyfriend deserves a girlfriend like me. Kase ako nalang lagi nagtatampo or nagseselos. I have never seen him jealous (sabagay wala namang dapat pagselosan) or wala akong maalalang instance na nagtampo siya. Nagalit siguro oo. Hindi ako nagpapakaself-pity ha. Sometimes I just think that I can be a better girlfriend. I can be less sensitive, emotional and all.

True enough I take my relationships seriously because once I entered into one, I consider it always as The One, which I will have for the rest of my life. Diba yun naman dapat. You enter a relationship or a commitment and you do your best to have it worked out and make it last forever. Well I know that would not be always the case, pero yun talaga yung reason why you commit right, kase mahal mo and gusto mo maglast. There's no room for me to play or 'collect and select' as some people say. I know for a fact that my first relationship didn't turn out well, because I was too young then and high school pa lang ako nun, long distance pa and I was really adjusting in college. Sad nga lang, medyo hindi kami friends kase wala ng communication since then. But hey, I would be glad if I would hear from him para friends ulit. The second one I have had was with Karlo. If you saw me that time, you can see me soo happy and full of love. But he was not my destiny, which I thought he would be. We were really sure back then that we are meant for each other. We had plans. Everything was planned accordingly. But sad to say, we were not meant to be. He left the mortal world 2 years ago, June 24, because of those greedy people (oh, they're not people.. they're stupid, ignorant members of Satan's troop ) who didn't mind taking people's lives as long as they satisfy their wants.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that ngayon ko lang talaga natanong sa sarili ko kung ok kaya ako as a girlfriend. Ngayon lang ako napaisip talaga nang ganito. Of course, I have always evaluated myself in my past relationships, but it's just now that I really really have given the thought if I can be any better. May be he doesn't deserve me coz hindi ako marunong maghandle ng relationship ko ngayon, lalo na long distance ulit. Ugghh.. I'm really sorry hal.. He has been patient to me and I guess I'm very lucky, or shall i say, blessed to have him just there, always keep'n up and bearing with me, for my countless complaints and "tampo". Thank you hal.

And I just wanna let my boyfriend know that I'm trying my very best to be a good significant other, and that I love him, really. And I feel bad if he often apologizes to me, because everytime na nag-aapologize sya, feeling ko ang sama-sama ko. Kase parang eto na naman ako, nagtatampo and may nakikitang hindi ako sang-ayon. I think I need to loosen up a bit right? Yeah.. I think so. Kase ako din ang kawawa. And I'm really scared now of being left hanging when I'm still so much in love... Kaya siguro.

the here and now of love

2006-06-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

We can love someone and just be happy about it even if we know that it cannot last forever. It is not about having someone. It is not about owning a relationship. Rather it is just about being happy because you know you have loved someone. There is a purpose and meaning behind all these events, and this purpose and meaning develop you as a person and a lover. Whatever relationships you have in your life now, they are precisely the ones you need at this moment.

author: anonymous

2006-06-22T14:11:00.000-04:00

My love update
Hmmm.. I had a good start of the day today having a very nice conversation with the boyfriend. It feels great that he has taken time to text me much longer today, because he's not busy at all. He has this three-day off, however with regular half-day meetings. But still I'm happy for him because last week he has a tight schedule, which in a way, has also compromised our communication. It's today that I have really felt that he's just there for me, always. Basta, I'm just soooo happy! No one's gonna destroy this day.. no one.

The Movie
Last night, my sister and I watched The Omen along with Tim and Laura, her two best friends. It was not really scary, it just freaked us out. There were some scenes that would startle you, and tend you to scream. It was also creepy that you will realize that the devil has won in that movie. The verses in the Revelation have been translated and you can associate them with what's happening around us nowadays; but for me it's always our faith in God who can save us. It is very important to confess and take the Holy communion everytime we go to mass, because it's one way that we are accepting Jesus.

Whenever I watch scary movies like that, I usually do the common things that people do. You know what I mean, like putting your hand(s) around your eyes but still peeking thru it. Haha. Then you will feel goosebumps. Anyway, after that movie, as we were heading towards the car in the parking lot, the windshield wipers of the Prius were raised, the ones on the front exterior. That was crazy. I mean who the hell did that? Then I just unknowingly said to Laura, "Oh men" and I realized we just watched The 'Oh-Men', haha! We were laughing our asses off. I told my sister to be careful because she was the one driving, and we were like, "hey stop at the stop sign" coz she was not doing it 'coz according to her no one's around. But that's the rule - to always stop at the stop sign even if there's no car nearby. It was a fun night, and good thing the car was not scratched or something or else our parents are gonna kill us. And by the way, it was an R-18 movie, that's why they wanted me to be there just in case an ID is needed to be checked. User!!! hahaha.. But then, I enjoyed and at least had something to do for the night. I'll be with these guys for the Orlando trip too on the 6th of July until the 11th. It's a good warm-up of hanging out with them right? Can't wait for the trip!!!

Senti

2006-06-20T23:46:00.000-04:00

Ang saya ko ngayong araw, wala lang.. Last week talaga parang gumuho ang mundo ko. Sobrang lungkot ko to the point na hindi mo madadrawing yung mukha ko. Nah, hindi naman siguro.. exagg naman yun. Magaling naman kase ako magtago ng problema. Marunong pa rin akong ngumiti kahit na deep inside eh sobrang hurt na. Pero minsan nasa dalawa lang din yan. Maaaring nasa loob lang ako ng kwarto ko buong araw o di kaya magyayayang lumabas para maging busy. Pero pag may problema, ayoko talagang ipinatatagal pa. Gusto ko resolved na kagad as much as possible.

Well, nakikita ko nga mga changes sa akin ngayon eh, and medyo natutuwa naman ako. Kase dati, talagang hindi ko nasasabi yung mga saloobin ko. Sobrang itinatago ko lang lahat at inaantay kong mawala. Pero masarap pala yung feeling na nasasabi mo lahat noh, kase para kang nabubunutan ng tinik. Hay, nagiging mature na nga talaga.

Pag bored ka nga naman, ang dami mong puwedeng isipin. Nakakapraning talaga. Kahit hindi ko naman dapat isipin, eh naiisip ko. Hay... Pero at least, ok na ako ngayon and medyo masaya na. Medyo lang kase namimiss ko pa rin si Jed. Nakakalungkot ang layo namin. Ang hirap. Gusto mong yakapin yung mahal mo, kaso hindi mo magawa. Gusto mong manuod ng sine kasama sya, kaso hindi naman pupuwede =( Nakakaiyak lang minsan. Pero siyempre ganun talaga, iniisip ko na lang With love and patience, nothing is impossible, sabi nga ni Daisaku Ikeda. Sana bumilis din ang oras. Tsaka sana talaga makakapag-antay ang bawat isa. Kaya naman sa kung kaya. Ang kinatatakot ko lang eh baka may mainip o baka may sumuko, o di kaya'y baka may makatagpo ng panibagong magpupuno ng pagkukulang. Ayoko naman sana mangyari yun. Basta ang alam ko lang habang may pagmamahal nga, kaya. At tsaka optimistic naman ako doon.

Eto nasesenti ako, kase yung pinakikinggan kong music eh senti. hehe. Pero yun lang, share ko lang naman. Miss ko na sya!!!! Ahhhhhhhh....

More Thoughts

2006-06-18T20:02:00.001-04:00

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

2006-06-17T11:41:00.000-04:00

SHOPPING
Ha! yesterday was a blast! Sarap!!! Nagshopping kami ng sisters ko... Pero di naman naubos ang pera ko. We went to Boca mall, just the three of us. 'Twas fun, but our feet hurt after like 4 hours of walking around. Tapos mga more or less 10 stores lang ang napasukan namin, out of like more or less a hundred.. hehe.. It was sale on the mall, that's why.. And it was first time that all the stuffs that I have bought were on sale, as in lahat. Kaya no regrets, and at least I was able to treat myself after striving hard to pass NCLEX, and after months of locking myself in the house, lols.. There was one Oakley shades there that I really really wanna buy, (actually yun talaga yung purpose ko bat ako nagyaya pumunta ng Boca, it's like 30-min drive away from our city, para sana bilhin yun..) but it's $120-$145. I said to myself, that I can buy more stuffs than just that one oakley shades. Eh di ayos.. May nabili akong shades, $24.50, and I was surprised that it was buy one get one free! Yahoo!!! ayos talaga.. eh di dalawa na kagad yung shades. and mas marami pa kong mabibili... next time nalang yung oakley, kapag talagang makakapagwork na talaga ako dito as RN, hehehe..

LIFETIME FRIENDS
Chippy and Tintin, my two best friends, just hung up from YM after the three of us chatted via Voice Messenger. Ooops, kami lang pala ni chippy yung via voice. Tin wasn't able to install her voice messenger yet, so type pa kami ni chippy with her sa YM. Pero ang saya. Dami namin napag-usapan. We're so far (Tin in Manila, Chippy in Mindanao, Me here in Florida) yet it feels that we're so near (haha o diba.. Technology talaga).

Anyways, we made an agreement that we gotta chat twice a month, the three of us plus Mimi and Girl. Every first and last saturday of the month daw. Talaga lang ha.. Flipgirls daw name namin, san kaya nanggaling yun? Pauso ba? heheh. But the best side of the story is that we're still keeping in touch and making our friendship alive. We've been friends for like 16 years already. =) They are the ones who really know the real me... from kindergarten when I was so shy then, and often cries in school to the Kating now, who became confident, quite adventurous and knows how to have fun. Life is fast and i'm just happy that there are people who still stick with me no matter what. Thanks to you mga miga. You are the best! I love you all!!! =)

Here's one compilation of our pic...

Just a thought

2006-06-16T13:47:00.000-04:00

Just because my eyes don't tear does not mean my heart does not cry.
And just because I come out strong does not mean there is nothing wrong.
Often I choose to pretend I'm happy so I don't have to explain myself to people who would never understand. Smiling has always been easier than explaining why I'm sad.

Lonely...

2006-06-14T18:32:00.000-04:00

Do you know how much more lonely it is to never be lonely and always feel lonely?

-- Katie Holmes in The first daughter

Missing my friends

2006-06-13T17:44:00.000-04:00

Nakakamiss ang mga kaibigan sa Pilipinas. Last week pala, nagchat kami nina Liway, Max and Alex sa YM! Nakakatuwa kase we had a conference, and each of us has a mic, so parang 4-way kaming apat. Sayang wala yung iba... Pano kaya kung buong barkada noh? eh di ang gulo, haha! Malabo nga lang mangyari yun kase 12 kaming lahat. hehe. Ayun, kung anu-ano ang napapag-usapan namin, mga updates ng buhay-buhay. Tatlo na din pala kami sa barkada ang nakapasa sa NCLEX, pero si Max pa lang ang pupuwedeng magtrabaho.

Si Roch naman na girlfriend ni Alex, nasa California, and magwowork na rin. Si Alex malapit na din once ok na ang IELTS. Ako, hindi ko pa alam ang kapalaran ko, kung uuwi pa ako ng Pilipinas. Bahala na si Lord dun. Ipinagdarasal ko na lang na ibigay Nya na lang kung anong best.

May ginawa pala akong testi kay Jed dati, ang cute, hehe.. Wala kase talagang magawa.. Namimiss ko na din siya..

Hay.. nakakamiss lang. Nakakalungkot talaga pag walang kaibigan dito.
Namimiss ko din ang barkada ko - sina Tintin, Mimi, Girl and Chippy. Iba talaga pag sila yung kasama ko, imagine we have our friendship and it's still strong for about 17 years already. They are the best. Sana eh pumunta si Chippy dito ngayong year. Conflict kase sa sched nya, pinayagan na sana siya ni ninang.

Siyempre, namimiss ko din ang company nina Hiyas, Ted, Cat, Astrid and Colet. Sana ok silang lahat and sana andito na din sila. Siguro ang saya nun noh. I'm positive that in time talaga..

Seeking crystal

2006-06-13T16:42:00.000-04:00

Seeking Crystal

Just as I look at the sky so gloomy outside

Pouring hard rain upon my blurry windows

So is my heart filled with trepidation

Wary but becoming numb with each passing day

Bewildered often times

I doubted your words, your feelings for me

Which of it is true..

Do you love me because you really do?

Or you just declare it because you appreciate my love for you

So much for conveying the flowery words

If your heart senses no genuine amour at all

I do not want to be a fool for love

Rather I hunger for the truth

For someone who is worthy of my affection

In my nature there is no place for madness

I can always be your friend, your confidante

My desire is plain and simple

That both of us will acquire bliss

And to remain sparkingly contented

So hold not the words on your tongue

Speak them out crystal clear

The truth indeed will set us free

And even give our love more strength and health...

...Love that no one can devour it at all, except us

That if we are meant to be...

Destined to be in the eyes of God

on beauty pageants

2006-06-12T23:02:00.000-04:00

I was surfing the net last night, and I have come across a site where it said that the Miss Universe pageant will be held here in USA, in LA particulary, this coming July 23 in Shrine Auditorium. Pageants always attract me since I was a kid, but I was never able to enter into one, because I was a very very chubby girl and uber shy. lols... Anyways, I wanna watch that search, because it's just in LA and the thought of supporting my fellow Filipina and UPian will be an exciting bullet for my summer. But mom said that it may take a lot of bucks from our pockets, which I think it would be, coz it's an international pageant. But come to think of it, it would really be a privilege to witness it right, imagine you would also have to dress elegantly. Ughh, I just miss dressing and fixing myself. When you are just bummed inside the house, there's no reason to try to groom yourself at its best. After you take a bath, you simply put on a big t-shirt and shorts. Yeah comfy but boring, especially if you feel that this becomes a routine for about a year. Ughhh!!!

Going back to the pageant, tickets will be going on sale soon at this site -- http://www.missuniverse.com/mainevent/tickets.html. Hmm... let's check it out then from time to time to see how much it is. Even though we're not watching. But who knows right? haha. asa pa..

I have this friend too, named Jasmin from Connecticut. Her myspace profile states that she's joining the Miss Teen Philippines USA in August, representing her state. It was in 1999 since the last time I saw her. I may ask her later if where is the competition. I hope she would win, coz she's beautiful and smart. I'm so proud of her.

Hayyy life

2006-06-10T14:17:00.000-04:00

Yey! Jed passed his IELTS already! I'm so happy and proud of him. He got high scores, no doubt about that because I know he's good. We talked yesterday too, on the phone after about a week. His duties last week in Philippine heart center were almost all morning shifts and those were 12 hours to count, so whenever he reached home, it's bedtime already. That's why I was happy that I've got the chance to talk things out with him, catching up with his busy life. Not me coz in any case, I have not become busy yet, here in FL. I hope I will soon.. I can't wait to work.

There were some things that scare me these days. Imagining situations that can really be a block to one's happiness. Yeah those were my imagination, but it can happen actually. Things may go crazy one way or another and I have to be strong about it. I'm thinking about my priorities and for such things, I have my plans. Only the hope of fulfilling those plans is left here inside me and I leave them all to God. I just wish that my will in life do coincide with God's will. Hayyy.. life is complicated but I always do consider it as a challenge, a battle I know I can get through.

For those who cannot understand.... I'm talking about life in general here.. and also my love life. This morning when I woke up, I just reminisced my past relationships. And I remembered Erikson.. haha. Stage of Intimacy vs Isolation - that's my stage now. Whew!!! I know that at this stage now, I'm trying to work on my relationships with people. With my boyfriend, the distance is hard. Sometimes I get praning of what he's thinking about me, especially that he's busy with work. But I don't doubt him of any third parties and all those things, because I trust him and I know that it's not his thing. I just worried if he still feels the same way, you know.. Why do girls tend to be so emotional huh? Sometimes it doesn't do any good at all. sigh... But yeah, I'm saying it again long distance rel is really hard, especially if you two don't communicate that much and if there's no trust. But in our case, so far so good. I'm being optimistic that it would work. But then again, I leave it all to God. He knows best for us, and I just pray that He leads us to the right path. It's like giving Him the pen to write your love story. If we're meant to be, then we're meant to be. If not, I don't want to be hurt and I want us to be friends after all those things that we've been through. But I assured Jed that I love him and whatever it is that he wants to say, he just says it and we'll work things out. Honesty really is the key, and I don't have any problems with that because from the very start, way back when we were still friends, I truly know that he's honest enough.. minsan nga lang sa sobrang pagiging honest eh... hahah.. just kidding! =)

Anyways, gotta go.. We'll attend a baptismal party later at around 4pm. At last I can go out of the house again, heheh.. Having no friends here really sucks. I wish Max, Roch and Alex are just a drive away here. So you see how lonely it is if we have no friends.

Now signing on again...

2006-06-09T23:57:00.000-04:00

hiyee! it's been a long time since i've last posted here in this blog.. whoa! about 5 months huh.. hmm, a lot of things had happened already for the past few months. Well yeah, I was able to go home in the Philippines. I had so much fun there.. Ok let me recall some of my activities there, hehe.. super saya kase.

hmm.. first day, no doubt i had a jet lag, jed lag daw sabi ni hiyas lols.. then on my first night there, i had a gimik with my batchmates, sobrang saya ko na nakasama ko ulit sila after 6 months. Oh before that, of course nagkita muna kami ni Jed. And that was a surprise. I really didn't know that he would go there sa condo ng pinsan ko (where i stayed). He told me that he really couldn't make it, coz he was really sleepy.. coz he had a night duty the night i arrived (7pm-7am), plus he had a meeting. So around 2:00pm after his duty, he told me he's on his way home and their meeting had just finished and that he was so sleepy. So i told him that it's ok that we meet the next day.. Because of that, i texted Angge and Colet to go in Rob so that we could meet, and it's good that they agreed.. Soo i was done with fixing myself and waited for Angge who was caught in traffic. Colet will be late daw.. My cousin also had a duty (med - clerk) so i was left in condo alone. It was not yet 5 min after my Ate Ron left the unit, when the doorbell rang. I said to myself, "may be ate ron left something, so I took a look at the peep hole and was really surprised that it was JED!!! hahaha.. Sooo funny, I was surprised to the point that I was not quite nervous and shy anymore on how to face him again after 5 months of being away. phew!!! So there at last he was the first person i've come to see among others aside from my cousin. I was really happy...Oh part of the surprise was a bouquet of flowers and my huggable stuff toy - a bear.. how sweet, hehe.. ganun talaga ako, easy to please nang mga ganung bagay.. =)

Then we met with Angge and Colet and ate in Dencio's. Jed went home after dinner coz he was soo sleepy. We girls did our thing - fixed ourselves and went directly to Sams.. Ted, Pau, Jerry, Ed, Hiyas were also there. We had shots of beer, and oh my God, I was not used to drink beer anymore, so for that night, i think i had just two.. haha! And sobrang antok na ako, na nagyayaya na akong umuwi kahit mga 2am pa lang. di ko na talaga kaya, wala pang tulog eh.. I've had a good time with Jay and Bjay too, with Cla and other batch 2006 pips who were there also.. It was a day and night full of blast indeed!!! =)

Preparing for NCLEX was also one of my goals there in Manila. I stayed there for almost 3 months. In January 30, I started with NCLEX review with Sir Gapuz. It was a good review, at least I had my time occupied and it made me become more confident with the upcoming exam. Even though that time I still didn't have my ATT, the fact that I was reviewing made me excited to take the exam. For me it was really a challenge.. and of course, I can't wait to become a US-RN too. lols.. It was nice too that I've got to meet some friends there in the review. The whole time of our comprehensive review, I was there in front, and it was a privilege since i was able to pay more attention to the lectures and not get bored at all.

In mid-March, Jed and I went to Boracay, the highlight of my stay there, hehe.. Yeah it was summer there already so we hit the beach. Ted invited us too in his hometown in Mindoro, it sucked at first knowing that only Yas and I were the ones who's going among the UPians he invited, but boy we did have fun in Mindoro.. We also went to Galera, Yas and I experienced the banana boat.. It was my first time being thrown that way in the sea. haha..

Then Chippy sponsored me to go home to Marbel. That was my last week in PI, and I was grateful that I had been able to visit my hometown in South Cotabato. Seeing my relatives and the place where I grew up, after 4 years had made me missed it so much more. There were lots of developments. I've got the chance to also visit my high school, but sad to say there were no more students there because it was already their summer vacation. All in all I had a 4-day stay there in Mindanao.

Last days in Manila were quite sad. I really hate it when I'm leaving, especially that I'm gonna miss my friends and Jed. Hayyy.. All i was thinking of most of the time was that I will just go ahead of them here in the States, and I know that they're gonna come soon..

Now, I'm already here in Florida, and there were lotsa escapades when I arrived here last April 11. I was gotten trapped by the immigration in Minneapolis. Yeah it was really DARN experience. The officer may be doubted my stay here, that I was planning to become a TNT. Hell no, of course. The last thing on my mind was to become illegal here. Even though my family were already immigrants, there was no intention of me to stay illegal, coz the one would suffer later will be me. Anyways, to cut the story short, my I-94 was marked by that officer with no adjustment/extension/change of status. Hmmm... so, I think I really need to go home in Manila before 6 months of stay here. Let's see though.

My family and I, by the way, spent the Holy week in Texas. There were lots of Pinoys there and the Easter Sunday was fun. There were egg hunting, parlor games and most pinoys there were from my hometown. It was like meeting some good old friends that I haven't seen for so long. Tita Eileen got to roam us around Houston, and it got my interest to work there too. The hospitals were big and they were situated in the center of the city, in the downtown Houston. They were compact and for that it was like being in the biggest medical center(s) in US..

My birthday came, April 26 and lucky me I got my ATT on that special day. God really bestowed me a wonderful gift. I prayed hard for it and I was so grateful that He gave it to me. So I scheduled my exam for NCLEX on June 1. I had one month of studying seriously, so that was the one which preoccupied my time. On April 30, my parents threw a small party for me here at home, with some friends and relatives. Thanks to them too..

Finally... here's the biggest news of all!!! I PASSED NCLEX!!! WHEW!! I shut down at 75. Praise the Lord, He didn't let me suffer at all to answer more questions and He didn't prolong my agony because He let me knew that I passed after just 36 hours of waiting. =) Good enough huh? Prayers indeed are powerful, and whatever it is that you ask God, it will be given. Just put your faith in God, pray hard and praise Him for everything.. good or bad.

My next step? IELTS.. the English exam. I still have 3 weeks to go. I'm gonna start practicing next week. I'm not yet in the mood to study now, though I'm really really bored. Arighty, it's time for a goodnight sleep.

moments of excitement

2006-01-10T22:21:00.000-05:00

I wonder how many days would I stay in manila when i go home there next week. may be a month. hmm, let's just make it 45 days. let's wait and see if how will things go by the time i get there. 'coz i'm wondering may be i'll get bored 'coz my friends have school and work. yeah i can read my book and study for NCLEX, but i can concentrate more here. Okay then, i'll give myself 45 days. so that means by March 6, i'll go back here already. or may be before that, like i should be back here by March 4 'coz it'll be the birthday celeb of my sister Bridget. I can't wait for thursday (jan12) to come 'coz there will be a series of parties and i get to be busy again until the 16th. Tita Eileen will arrive in the morning from Texas, so we need to pick her up from the airport. Then at that night will be the wedding rehearsal, then there's rehearsal dinner afterwards, then the bachelorette party of Ate Marlo in Seminole Hard Rock. The day after that, there will be a lunch party, 'coz our other relatives will be arriving from New York; others from California. This will be an awesome week, full of blasts!!!

Saturday will be the wedding day. Ate Marlo might be nervous as well as excited at this time. I don't know what's the feeling of the bride. May be on my wedding day, i'll be having a hyperacidity, lols. that would suck. Let's just say i'll get butterflies on my stomach. hehe. anyhoo, that will be a surprise for me. i still have a long way to go before marrying. after all, i'm just 21 now. let's figure out some things first and concentrate on the career, and enjoy life like we always say. I need to save money first, haha! oh yeah, 'coz you know what? here in the states, the girls are the one spending for the wedding. but i guess if ever i'll get married here and my groom is a filipino, that rule would not be followed, lols... 'coz in the philippines, we don't give all the expenses to the bride's family for them to pay right? haha!!!

I'm happily excited for my cousin. She's my 2nd cousin actually ('coz our dads are 1st cousins), and I like her 'coz she's soo nice and everything. She's pretty too. Regine tolentino look-a-like as my classmates have told me when they saw her pic. And oh, I just remembered, I first met her here in Florida when I was 6 years old, when we went here in the states for the first time. She and jasmine and i were playing together, then Ate Marlo asked me if I know how to speak English. Then I replied, "Yes, small" hahaha!!! that was really funny and i can't forget it. Then now that we are grown up, i get to see her and my other cousins during sembreak, summer vacation and christmas season, when i have the chance to visit my family here. That gave us the chance to bond and enjoy like there was no distance at all. and now that i'm here already for good, it's more fun!

Four nights of sleep & i'll be a bridesmaid! Yey!!! then on the night of the 14th, i'll be counting of having 4 nights of sleep again before taking off towards manila, lols.

I definitely like the movie Casanova!!!

2006-01-08T00:45:00.000-05:00

Hey hey hey, i just watched CASANOVA!!! and i love it! :) really nice, i wanna watch it again.. hehe. Heath Ledger is freakin cute! haha.. Oh, the movie shows how nice it is to found one's true love, and it does really exists. More often than not, we just have to be patient. Things may go well the least we expect it. The movie too is a mixture of comedy, drama, romance. it's awesome!

well, i'm an easy-to-please person when it comes to romantic comedy movies. I'm a young-at-heart girl. I can watch from Princess diaries, Cinderella Story, Chasing Liberty without getting frustrated. I just love childishness, if there's such a word. You would be surprised though that I don't want to watch movies like Lord of the Rings. I don't know why I get so bored, and for the two LOTR movies, I admit that I have slept on them, lols.. Yup... I was really bored. I was glad though that I have found my companion with regards to feeling the same way. It's my friend Angge, haha! It was relieving to know that I was not alone in being bored to that movie. But don't be mistaken, I love Harry Potter though I don't read the books. I was just feeling tired of reading and reading. That's why it came to me as a surprise when I have finished The Da Vinci code. haha.. What interest me the most when it comes to books are those that teach us about life; for instance The Alchemist, Tuesdays with Morrie and so on. And of course I love reading magazines, fashion mags like Cosmogirl and more Cosmo mags. That you should not wonder, you know I'm a girl. haha.. and oh i just remember my subscriptions didn't arrive yet.. how come???! hmm.. ayt dudes and bettys, gotta go.. Have a great day! :)

2006-01-07T09:01:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep anymore, woke up really early, like 5:30 a.m., 'coz it's soo cold (40 degrees fahrenheit). i then ate my breakfast, because i thought i would be sleepy again after eating, but oh well, i'm already doing this blog thing again after all. hehe. i should have just printed my e-ticket for p.i, but i kept on surfing, lols.

anyhoo, i received good news last night from my dad, i'm soo happy. there's positive significant results on his CAT scan results, & i'm really grateful for God about it. Thank you Lord! i know it will take time, but i can see that there's really good in everything and nothing is impossible with prayers.

i'm here in my sis's room, coz i'm so lazy to boot my laptop on, and oh yeah i printed the e-ticket, that's why. and bridget is not here too, 'coz she went to a Math competition (yeah on a saturday. i hope she'll win. I just realized that there's good Math skills that run in the family, hehe. 'coz Bridget is really good in it, and so is Charles. I'm so proud of my brother 'coz he has the highest average (rank 1 in other words) in Math here in Broward County, FL (for the 8th grade studs). Imagine, how many cities are there in the Broward county and how many thousands of students are there in it. Then my brother is the number one, and yet in that aspect he doesn't study hard. He's responsible, but being a guy, most of his time is spent in computer games and his band (he's a lead guitarist by the way and he has composed a lot of music too), although i know that he's a member of the "gifted in math" club, something like that. He's a Math genius i guess, though i haven't tried asking him to solve some problems, hehehe.

Chiqui (the youngest), on the other hand, is good in Math too. Whenever she does her homework, she always has the ability to do it mentally. That's a good sign for an 8-year old kid. And me? i guess i'm not that bad too. I was loving Math in college actually, and i did it well too. As of now, i'm tutoring a high school stud in HS Algebra, so that does not say i'm bad on it. But i admit that i really hated it when i was in HS, my Math was the subject, which has received the lowest grade on my report cards. Oh well that's past.

So there.. My sister chiqui slept in my room this night (yeah, she's there alone now). she insisted to watch cinderella story..again.. hehe. and oh well, she happened to sleep at the near-end of the movie, leaving me finishing the movie alone. it's ok though.

sooo, what have u been up to? i wanna watch the geisha movie, i hope my mom would tonight. if not, i just watch it in manila. oh i just remember, what's good about last night too was that i have talked with jay... it was like how many months ago since i've last heard from him. nice, nice! 'coz i can still see him before he'll leave for the community and i can get my free treat in Fridays, lols... i'll buy his Lactaid may be later or tomorrow. i don't know, may be Lactaid is more expensive in the Philippines, that's why he wants me to buy for him here.

I hope i can still sleep even just for an hour after this. ayt, i'm going back to my room, ciao! =)

random...

2006-01-06T01:30:00.000-05:00

Hey, I tried this blogger, and it's better than xanga.. haha.. Okay.. i transferred my earlier post from xanga to this one...

Hmmm... nothing's much again this day. Good thing though that I was able to have a run. I've been eating a lot this past few days, damn! I need a bad exercise, that's why it feels good to sweat a lot this afternoon. Course I've taken my shower after that. My sister's here with me a while ago. She was so happy with her new heelys, that's her first birthday wish. I know there's more.

Oh I just watched the Wedding Crashers. I like it, coz it's funny. Been longing to watch that since I've arrived here, but it was just released in the DVD. My mom didn't want to watch that in the movies before, so I have to wait for the DVD.

What else is on my mind right now? Yeah, I'm still doing the countdown. Three actually. The wedding, my sister's birthday and my going home. I'm so touched with my little sister. She doesn't want me to go home in Manila. hehe. I was joking around that I'm coming back here by December and she was complaining. I so love my sister. She is the one that makes me so happy to stay here. I know that if I'll have work sooner or later, she'll be spoiled.. haha! I still don't know what I'm going to give her on her birthday. She doesn't tell me anything she wants. Oh she told me once that she wanted to have a new bicycle, but hello? I could not afford that yet. So, I'm going to think of other nice gifts, may be a toy this time, coz at their age they've been longing for toys right? Whenever I tease her that I will give her clothes, I often see in her eyes that she does not want some clothes, instead she likes toys. Yeah I know that.

By the way, I cleaned my room today before running. It badly needs some cleaning since Christmas, lols. Next week my tita will stay here, so I should not put things on their dead line. The drawers are a bit organized now. I threw a lot of unnecessary papers. Some college modules that are not anymore useful, I threw them away.

I wonder if I'll bring a copy of my TOR, RLE in Manila when I go home (I thing i have flight of ideas here.. hehe. oh well, i just write what comes to my mind). Do you think I need it there? Hmm, who knows may be I can work there. Oh no.. may be not, coz I am supposed to be here by March for me to get ready to take NCLEX. I want to take it by June though, because on April during holy week, which is also the spring break of my siblings, we're going to Texas and that's for a week. Oh well, bahala na. We'll see. I hope 2 1/2 months months is enough for me to study.
How about my laptop? I want to leave it here, but I know that there will come a time that I have nothing to do there in Manila, so to be guilt-free, I can scan my book and do answer some questions from the computer. Hmm.. makes me think. Or better yet, I'll just leave the laptop here, and just bring the book. I think this is a better idea, because the book is lighter and as if naman matatapos ko yung book in my entire stay there diba? Yeah, so ganun na lang. Besides I don't want to carry heavy load coz when I come back here, I know I'll bring my other stuffs that I have left there in Manila. Yup, I still have a lot of stuffs in there, - clothes, books, some accessories- plus my dad has some of our kitchen wares there in a box that came from our old house in the province.. So i have to bring those. That's the tiring part of traveling and I hate it, especially when I arrive Detroit from Manila, 'coz I have to claim all my baggages alone (macho na ako, hehe) for the customs, then sort-of check them in again towards Fort Lauderdale. Ugghh, I have been traveling alone for how many years already. I can't wait for the whole family to travel together. The last time we traveled together was like in year 1999. Yeah, it was also when we went here. That's why last summer, I was so glad that I did take a slight vacation in Hongkong with my mom. Mother and daughter bonding, hehe.

Aright, I'm getting tired na.. Laterz..

Reminiscing and Dreaming

2006-01-05T23:45:00.000-05:00

Reminiscing 2005

Community immersion days in Laguna during January

Staff and Headnursing days in PGH until March

Graduation Day - April

My 21st birthday!!!

Review for the board exams

Pass the board exams -- I AM A REGISTERED NURSE NOW!!!

Vacation with my barkada in Baguio and Ilocos

More sleepovers and gimik sessions with my friends

I have a lovelife!!! , I am inspired!!! I am in Love!!!

I reunited with my family here in the States

Went to Keywest

Missing my friends in the PI for 5 months

Been enjoying though with my cousins here

Got my Driver's license here in FL

Had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas parties

Went to Universal Studios Orlando for New Year

What I look forward to for the Year 2006

Wedding of my cousin Ate Marlo

Going home in PI in January 18

Enjoy with friends

Watch movies and stroll and eat outside with my baby!

Go to Boracay!!!

Review for NCLEX

Take the NCLEX

Pass the NCLEX

Work as an RN here in FL

Get lots of $$$

Spend Christmas in PI with the whole family

Good health, good love and good life to all!!!